Letters to the church from the lord #1 Ephesus By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Letters to the church from the lord #1
To the Church in Ephesus
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

The lord becomes very upset with us in the future.
I never want to see us receive a letter like this,

To the Church in Ephesus

Rev 2:1 “To the angel of the church in Ephesus, write the following:

“This is the solemn pronouncement of the one who has a firm grasp on the seven stars in his right hand – the one who walks among the seven golden lampstands: Rev 2:2 ‘I know your works as well as your labor and steadfast endurance, and that you cannot tolerate evil. You have even put to the test those who refer to themselves as apostles (but are not), and have discovered that they are false.
Rev 2:3 I am also aware that you have persisted steadfastly, endured much for the sake of my name, and have not grown weary.
Rev 2:4 But I have this against you: You have departed from your first love!
Rev 2:5 Therefore, remember from what high state you have fallen and repent! Do the deeds you did at the first; if not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place – that is, if you do not repent.
Rev 2:6 But you do have this going for you: You hate what the Nicolaitans practice – practices I also hate.
Rev 2:7 The one who has an ear had better hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers, I will permit him to eat from the tree of life that is in the paradise of God.’

The church of Ephesus has been a rock in the teaching of the lord but in their fervor they have forgotten the love of the lord. They have forgotten to be passionate and compassionate. They tested everyone that came to them, they became cynical and did not believe the miracles that god had bestowed upon them. They became martyrs; they suffered on purpose and used the lord’s name as a reason to suffer. They brought much suffering upon themselves in the name of the lord.
And then look to the heavens and said look oh lord what we endure for you and in your name.
They need to get into the game. They need to realize that the lord provide many convinces for his people for a reason. Look to the miracles around you and realize that the lord has been there for you through the hard times but does not expect you to suffer needlessly.
Yes pay your penance. Pay what you are due to pay but do not pay more.

Rev 3:3
Therefore, remember what you received and heard, and obey it, and repent. If you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will never know at what hour I will come against you.

Act 8:22
Therefore repent of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the Lord that he may perhaps forgive you for the intent of your heart.

But do not wander this world going oh poor me I have this huge cross to bare because I am a Christian. Oh poor me I may never achieve financial freedom because I have to contribute to the church. I am Christian and god’s children must always suffer.
Hell No! Get thee into the game! Get into the fucking mud and dirt and get into the game. Play the game as the game was meant to be played. And on Sunday repent for your mistakes during the game

Act 3:19
Therefore repent and turn back so that your sins may be wiped out

But do not sit on the side and cry "poor me, oh lo lord look at the terrible suffering I do in your name" he knows suffering and you have not suffered he knows pain and he knows blood shed but you do not know shit!
So stop trying to pretend to know and get into the fucking game.
Think about it! If you succeed then you can contribute that much more to the church and the church then prospers and the good word of the lord becomes louder and mightier. People will look at you and not say oh look at the Christian suffering NO! They will say look at the lord's child prospering because of the lord, Look at the children of god making a difference.
Stop your weeping. Stop crying foul! And get your ass into the mix. Find your hole and exploit it! If some piece of shit fucking in your office steps on your hand then gouge his fucking eye. If he steps on your tow while punching you then lift his nut sack with your other foot.

Lev 21:20
or a hunchback, or a dwarf, or one with a spot in his eye, or a festering eruption, or a feverish rash, or a crushed testicle.

But do not come on Thursday and take the beating from me and then cry oh I get beat all day long at work by the heathens and the sinful masses and then I come here and I have to pay for my sins but I do this because that is what the lord wants.
No the lord wants you to step up. I want you to step up. My game does not improve unless yours does.

Deu 9:4 Do not think to yourself after the Lord your God has driven them out before you, “Because of my own righteousness the Lord has brought me here to possess this land.” It is because of the wickedness of these nations that the Lord is driving them out ahead of you. 9:5 It is not because of your righteousness, or even your inner uprightness, that you have come here to possess their land. Instead, because of the wickedness of these nations the Lord your God is driving them out ahead of you in order to confirm the promise he made on oath to your ancestors, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. 9:6 Understand, therefore, that it is not because of your righteousness that the Lord your God is about to give you this good land as a possession, for you are a stubborn people!
I want you all to start the next week with a promise to succeed. I want to hear that you are up for a promotion and that you stepped up to your boss and asked "What do I need to do to get to the next level?" and then you can repent any acts that you have committed to get there. The ends justify the means. If you commit a sin to get to the next level then you can always come to me and I will hear your sins and I will give you penance to pay and you can repent and start the next week fresh and ready to kick that office bully's ass.

Eph 6:13
For this reason, take up the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand your ground on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand.

Do not play the part of the victim, do not play the part of the martyr, and do not fucking come to me and ask why do I have to suffer?
Fuck yeah that the lord did the suffering for you. The lord took three shots for you. The lord was beaten down and spit on for you. Now get your asses up and kick some ass.
The only people that will survive in the future are those that get up and take what is theirs. If it belongs to you then no one will fault you for taking what is yours. If some one wants to take what is yours then kick the godless ass and tell them the lord told you to smite them. Nothing scares the sinners more than a Christian who kicks ass in the name of god. Trust me on this. I get e-mails all fucking day from those that think I am too over the top and I get some from the whiners that say I am suppose to suffer and not be the strong reverend. And that these sermons are blasphemous.
I laugh and ask them what was the last thing the lord did for you? They can not answer. I tell them the lord gave me the power to kick ass and every ass I kicked the lord thanked me for by letting me kick another.
Get off the side of the track. Look at the rule book and figure where the rule is exploited and exploit it. That is the way it is done now. That is how anybody is going to make it.
If it is yours take it, if it does not belong to anybody take it. If you take it and it does not belong to you then ask for forgiveness.

I have given up on the rocks and I now have a baseball bat. After today we will all know who the sinners are in the parking lot.

Eph 6:23 Peace to the brothers and sisters, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 6:24 Grace be with all of those who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love.

The food bank is looking for donations to assist in the thanksgiving holiday food baskets that will be handed out to the legal residents that are in need of assistance. So please either donate time or donate food. If you think that you maybe in need of assistance then ask and volunteer some time to help.
The daycare and Sunday school center is looking for assistance. If you have patience and time on Sunday please consider helping out. The boxing gloves fro the toddlers are the cutest things you should see them. We have pink for the girls and blue for the boys.
That reminds me. Boys if you all lose again this week I will get you all pinkly gloves and take away the reds ones until you can hold your own. I think the boys are fighting with their hearts and not their heads. I know that the girl’s champion is HOT! But you think that she wants to date a guy that she beat up??
Hell no! Step up! Show her that you are a man that can take what is his and she will be putty in your hands. I promise, so you can provide and she will show you she can care for your household. Because that is what it is all about!


I tell you all to keep your pimp hand strong for a reason.





Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

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With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Seven Deadly Sins: Sloth By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Seven Deadly Sins: Sloth
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Mar 7:22
adultery, greed, evil, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, pride, and folly.

Today I am going to tell a story and talk about Sloth.

Sloth, once called the sin of sadness. The refusal to enjoy the goodness of the lord god and the world he created. Early Christian writers would describe sloth as melancholy or apathy. But still the refusal to participate in life and the great gift that is the world around us is the true sin here.

Pro 6:9
How long, you sluggard, will you lie there? When will you rise from your sleep?

Pro 6:10
A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to relax,

Pro 6:11
and your poverty will come like a robber, and your need like an armed man.

Dante mad this middle sin as it describes the failure to love god with all of ones mind or heart. Dante tells of purgatory for these lazy sullen depressed bastards as being made to run at top speed for ever and ever until their penance was paid and god felt the sin was atoned.
The modern version of the vice is still just apathy, just the supreme desire to not make a change. To not participate, to do nothing and accept that that is the status quoi is a travesty.
Because of the unwillingness to act or care makes this sin a less serious sin.
THAT IS BULLSHIT!
It is a deadly sin for a reason. If you do not care to make a change then the ones making a change are going to make the change for themselves. And the ones making a change may not be thinking of god and what is in the best interest of the lord.

1Cor 3:8
The one who plants and the one who waters work as one, but each will receive his reward according to his work.

Sinners are numerous and sinners are driven.
If you let sinners make the decisions you are ripe for a rape and a push down a road you do not want to travel.
I have spoken twice about this apathy, this "I want to sit hear and cry instead of get in the game" attitude that pisses me off. And I still see the same number of slothful people everyday. I have helped two people move to a better place because they took charge of their game and made the game work for them.
They stopped sitting on the side saying that is not fair. No they got up and look at the rules and said ok that is the rule today that will work for me this way and they applied the rules. And they made a change and they now are reaping the benefits of a better life. They stopped being slothful. Will you all stop being slothful??

Pro 10:4
The one who is lazy becomes poor, but the one who works diligently becomes wealthy.

hey I know it is hard to make a change, I know that change means that there is a unknown ahead but you know what embrace the unknown and work the new unknowns to your favor.
The modern version of the vice is still just apathy, just the supreme desire to not make a change. To not participate, to do nothing and accept that that is the status quoe is a travesty.
I had asked a new member to have his clergy come talk to me because his clergy failed to teach him god's anger and god's desire for us to make positive changes around us. His clergy let him commit one of the most grievous sins and told him that it was ok to prey, and feed, and oppress others. His clergy failed to talk to him about the deadly sins and the desire to god has for us to accept change.

1Tim
5:8 But if someone does not provide for his own, especially his own family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Pro 18:9
The one who is slack in his work is a brother to one who destroys.

His clergy stopped by, and we talked and he asked me about the bruises that his member had received here during on of my lectures.
That was not a lecture father that was a baptism.
But he had already been baptized.
Obviously this did not take. He was sinning and he thought he was not committing and crime against god.
Well he is either going to heaven or his is not weather he sins does not matter.
WHAT! Are you serious?
Yes
No you are wrong and that is what we are here for to help shepherd this poor lost soul to he green pastures that are the lords word and way. There are no gimmes!
Oh no we are here until the lord calls us home. Our time is just a formality.

Ecc 10:18
Because of laziness the roof caves in, and because of idle hands the house leaks.

You sir have been listening to Belphegor. The devils demon of sloth. Satan harbinger of evil deadly sins
You sir are with any desire to change or enjoy the wondrous works of god, and I slapped him.
He looked shocked. He looked hurt. Above all he looked pissed. Oh good he may have a chance left after all. Then I saw a wave of something wash over him and he just sat back. Come on man I said as I stood. Get up and make a change! And I slapped him again.

Pro 12:24
The diligent person will rule, but the slothful will become a slave.

He flinched and sat there. He had tears well up in his eyes and said "stop hitting me" in a shaky voice.
I laughed, "I did not hit you. I slapped you like a bitch, Now do something about it!”
No you need to stop hitting me!
I slapped him again and laughed at him.
He sat there and then he began to shake and I saw the tears begin to get bigger. and then he exploded into heavy sobs.
"Why do they always beat me up oh lord?" "Why do the bullies always get to beat me up and you do nothing to stop it"
I bent down into his face, "does he answer you?"
He choked back some sobs and shook his head.
I am not a bully. I am here to talk to you about your failure to preach to today's people. And then I find you are committing a grievous sin.
But why does the lord let you beat me up?
The lord does not let me beat you up you let me beat you up. You let the bullies win. you let your church down everyday you get up and not make a change. You are a pussy and I am going to beat you up some more
No. please do not, I can not take it.
No you will take it or you will make me stop.
No I will run away.

Tit 1:12
A certain one of them, in fact, one of their own prophets, said, “Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.”

Ha! You? You fat, out of shape, whinny little shit? You could not get away.
You will either fight me or you will get beaten up.
I will get beaten either way.
No you will have made a change and you will have stood up for your self.
And I grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him to the rectory and then to the ring and I pushed his fat ass through the ropes like some kinky play dough boxing press.
He started to get to his feet, "Do we not get any gloves?"
No not today,
And I swung and he took one in the gut, he doubled over.
Do you not see the point? Can you not make the connection?
and just as I was about to give up on this man of the cloth he whips up to stand and brings his left hand across my cheek. "yeah" he said "i get it" and he popped me in the mouth.
My head snapped and he stepped into it me as my head snapped back.
He got two more good jabs in before I was able to realize that he was a boxer from long ago.
We traded punches and jabs for an hour.
Finally he said stop.
I stopped and he said that the good lord just whispered in his ear that I was right. and that he was lazy in his sheepherding and teaching. That he needed to step his game up and tell his flock to step up for them selves.
Man I panted an hour of this before he spoke to you he must have been pretty angry at you to let you get the beating you got.
No he said with his hands on his knees he told me all that back when you pushed me into the ring. I stayed quiet because I wanted to make you pay for calling me a bitch.

Mat 25:26
But his master answered, ‘Evil and lazy slave! So you knew that I harvest where I didn’t sow and gather where I didn’t scatter?

We cleaned up. The clergy spoke about how he was going to start affecting a change in his house and how he was going to start a movement. He was working on a homily about how one needs to step up their game to stay in the game.
He was going to start getting the teen ministries to work on the younger generation and
Get a head start on them. He said he regretted the apathetic and piss poor way he ran his church for the past 10 to 15 years.
He was worried about the number of members that were not prepared for the change because of his teachings.
I told it did not matter they would get in the game once they realized the need to get in there.
I also talked to him about the leaders that go to his church and how he needs to counsel them in their preying on the weakest of the community.
We are on the cusp of some great changes people, our first cross denominational beating, the change being affected across classes and into the business world, some wondrous and wooly times indeed.
The Sunday school is starting a 8 week course after services for the younger members. The main focus is teaching the younger members to stand up against bullies and to speak out for them selves. Parents are encouraged to assist in their assertiveness training and to foster a relationship of listen as opposed to just dictating.
Cookies and coffee are in the foyer. The Singles in Christ’s light are having a mixer this Friday.
If you are single you should get out to this and meet other like minded individuals. Maybe you can find a sparing partner. Who knows maybe a love tap that brings the image of god to your eyes is all that is needed to finish that life of bachelorhood.

Go in peace and try not to kill each other in the parking lot.






Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Seven Deadly Sins: Greed By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Seven Deadly Sins: Greed
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Mar 7:22
adultery, greed, evil, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, pride, and folly.

Today I am going to tell a story and talk about greed.
We are under attack you and I. The rich want to get richer and they do not care about who they eat on the way. If are not rich you are in trouble.

Luk 12:15
Then he said to them, “Watch out and guard yourself from all types of greed, because one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

2Pe 2:14
Their eyes, full of adultery, never stop sinning; they entice unstable people. They have trained their hearts for greed, these cursed children!

They can not buy their way into the real estate purchase of an after-lifetime. the priceless lot you secure today will only appreciate even more. The cost was nothing but your promise to live your life for the lord. And listen to his teachings.

Jud 1:11
Woe to them! For they have traveled down Cain’s path, and because of greed have abandoned themselves to Balaam’s error; hence, they will certainly perish in Korah’s rebellion.

Last Thursday I was privileged to baptize a members supervisor. This dumb piece of shit was paying his employees just enough that the employees could barely eek out an existence but just enough that the employees did not want to loose their vested time by looking else where.
I sat this boss down and we talked about it and all it came down to was that he saw that if skimmed on 1 dollar an hour raise across the board he could see a profit of 1000 dollars an hour. That made a profit of over 3 quarters of a million dollars. The boss then
Would boats that he save the company over 800 thousand dollars.
In turn for this neat trick he receives a 2 dollar raise.
His lust for money has now become a sin for he has sacrificed the welfare of his fellow man. He has prostituted himself for some money and screwed and fed on his employees.

Gen 3:16
To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your labor pains; with pain you will give birth to children. You will want to control your husband, but he will dominate you.”

We talked a bit. We debated a bit. We argued a bit. And then I pointed to him that the cost of living ate away at the employee’s income to the point that they could not longer tithe. That with out tithe the church could not perform any of the community functions and assistance programs.
He said he did not care about that and that was a church problem not a business problem.

Lev 26:21
“‘If you walk in hostility against me and are not willing to obey me, I will increase your affliction seven times according to your sins.

So I smacked him. Hard. In the face. Like a pimp would smack a whore that talked back. He cried "why did you do that?"
"Because” I bellowed "sir you have offended me and my god." and I stood,

Exo 32:31
So Moses returned to the Lord and said, “Alas, this people has committed a very serious
sin, and they have made for themselves gods of gold.

I grabbed him by the hair and dragged his fat pompous, pampered, spoiled ass to the ring and I tossed him to the ropes.
Wha.. what are you doing? Fear welling up in his eyes so fast his eyes looked like Speed Racers eyes, all anime and big.
I am going to show you to god and I am going to let god judge you and teach you a lesson.
Ba ba but I already go to a church.
When we are done you will have your pastor.... Father... very well your father come down and I will talk to him about his teachings he is giving you for you are a sinful man with not desire to repent and concern for your fellow man.

1Co 6:8
But you yourselves wrong and cheat, and you do this to your brothers and sisters!

I tossed him the 12 ounce gloves and said “you look like a fit man you work out right?”
“Yeah”
“Ok then I will give you an edge. You get the 12 ounce gloves and I will use the 5 ounce
gloves.”
“No I think..”
“No I think that if you do not get in the ring you will go to hell today. I am trying to save your soul you dumb shit! Now get the god damn gloves on and get into the ring.”
“But....”
“No you do not see. I will start saving your soul right here right now with my bare hands.”
He took the gloves and climbed into the ring.
He put the gloves on while I grabbed my gloves and turned on some heavy metal music.
I climbed into the ring and while I was putting the gloves on I looked down that the laces and he came up and landed one seriously square upper cut.
I went sprawling back into the ropes.
He charged and lifted his right to drill a punch into my face.
I came up with my foot and kicked him right in the crotch. [Laugh Out Loud]
You should have felt the air move when he sucked his breath in. Man alive, it was like I was in the center of a tornado.
He doubled over and he fell down to the mat.
I finished putting my gloves on.
I grabbed his head with both hands and lifted him to his feet. He looked like a new man.
He looked innocent and bewildered. It was obvious that this fuckwad had never felt pain, real pain in his life.

Jer 25:15
So the Lord, the God of Israel, spoke to me in a vision. “Take this cup from my hand. It is filled with the wine of my wrath. Take it and make the nations to whom I send you drink it.

I asked him if he could breath
He nodded
I reached back for the haymaker and I let it connect to the left side of his face.
He spun and fell face down.
He laid there with his feet pointed back. But he moved. I waited for him to roll over.
I helped him to his feet and I walloped him again.
He dropped to his knees and looked up. He was not seeing me. He was seeing the good lord at that moment.
He stared up at the sky light for 3 minutes and then he nodded twice

Gen 16:13
So Hagar named the Lord who spoke to her, “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “Here I have seen one who sees me!”

He babbled something in a whisper to someone that could not be seen and I began to tear up. For I know who he spoke to.
The warmth that flowed over me was joyous and wonderful. Everyone that was in the room at that moment felt the presence of the holy ghost.
He looked down at the mat and began weeping. "It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life." Spraying blood on the mat from B's F's and S's.

Hos 12:4
He struggled with an angel and prevailed; he wept and begged for his favor. He found God at Bethel, and there he spoke with him!

He looked at me and said. "I have been shown the light and I will make amends this very day."
Good, now you must also do a couple of things. The good lord wants you to get your boss down here for some education and I want you to tell your father/priest to come see me I want to educate your clergy.
I will be talking to this cleric in the next couple of weeks in an attempt to get our denominations to become more cohesive and consistent on our teachings.
Remember that every Friday night the boys and the girls compete in the ring. Any concession and door money generated goes to assisting their ministry and building them a much larger center.
The teen minister and I have been talking about have live bands for their entertainment and maybe hosting a dance on Saturdays so that all that youthful energy can be spent someplace that can assist them in learning the right decisions.
The Knights of Acrimony are offering a special invitation to all to witness at their ceremony this Tuesday. They are inducting 3 new members into their order and this will be the only time anyone can be a part with out being a member. The ceremony is truly a blessed ceremony and always a wonderful moment when a new knight is inducted.
In the foyer the SMMR single mothers making reparations have put together a continental breakfast for everyone in appreciation and also a way to thank all the men that helped them out over the past couple months.
I give up on you all and the parking lot. I do not know what to do about all of you and your freaking attitudes. Today I want everyone to look to the person next to you on both sides and say I am sorry for the rudeness I am about to impart on you in the parking lot.

Amen






Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Seven Deadly Sins: Wrath By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Seven Deadly Sins: Wrath
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Mar 7:22 adultery, greed, evil, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, pride, and folly.

Today I am going to tell a story and talk about Wrath.

I know that many of you are wonder how is Reverend John going to cover this one when he is out beating he god lord in top the morons and sinners of the world?
How is the good reverend going to talk about wrath when he has talked about the glory of the lord's anger and the truth behind our own anger?
Wrath is not just anger or hatred but vengeful violence or the impatience of justice and the taking of equalization into ones own hands.
Wrath is about the uncontrolled anger that is the drive to obtain instant retribution of instant justice. It is the impatience to wait for proper judgment.
Wrath is the love of justice perverted, perverted to the point of revenge and spitefulness.
It is like the time that I beat a bully up once.
I beat him so hard and so fast that he never saw what or how was beating him. He just knew that 15 minutes later he was a mess.
I have atoned for that sin and I make sure that I do not commit that sin from now on.
Wicked plans of revenge and vindication are signs of wrath.
This week begin close to Christmas and I needing to do some shopping I went to the mall. While I was shopping I see this man yelling at a clerk in Williams and Sonoma. Have any of you all been in the place?? Man the smell of chocolate is heavenly and there is no way you can go in that store and be mad at the same time. I step in and say sir you really need to calm the fuck down. There is no need to yell at that clerk.
You need to mind your own business bible thumper and he shoved me away.
He then turned to the clerk and slapped them again and said your store lies and you lied.
I stepped back into the store and tell the clerk you should step away for this person as they are out of control and need to be dealt with.
He walks up into striking distance and I wallop him before he can say a word, before he can raise his fist.
I may have committed a sin and I would have to answer for that.
But he pissed me off and I used my rage in a completely unconstructive nay completely destructive way.
I used the anger and power the lord gave me and I apologized to him immediately.
Then I thought I saw the flicker of something in the man's eyes when he took the blow, I thought that maybe I saw Satan behind those eyes. And this shopper was not so quick to get control and he began to beat on the poor clerk. Man this fucker was out of control real fast. I realized immediately that this man was possessed by the demon Satan and had to do something fast. Satan is the demon whose domain is wrath.
I reached into one of my shopping bags and grabbed my bible and the bottle of water I was drinking.
There was a crowd had beginning to gather at the scene.
I opened my bible to Luke and I recited;

Luk 4:31-35 So he went down to Capernaum, a town in Galilee, and on the Sabbath he began to teach the people. They were amazed at his teaching, because he spoke with authority. Now in the synagogue there was a man who had the spirit of an unclean demon, and he cried out with a loud voice, “Ha! Leave us alone, Jesus the Nazarene! Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are – the Holy One of God.” But Jesus rebuked him: “Silence! Come out of him!” Then, after the demon threw the man down in their midst, he came out of him without hurting him.

And I brought the water bottle down on his head 7 times.
I yelled "Satan! Get out of that man now!" stop this wrathful beating as I cast you to the pits of hell that you came from you vile evil beast.
Satan be gone! As I am going to anoint you with the Holy Spirit! And I brought the bottle of water down upon his head again.
A guttural scream of agony bellowed from the man and he stopped beating on the clerk that was trying to resolve his issue. He spun and looked at me his eyes glowing; a woman screamed in fear and fainted. He stepped to me and I brought my bible a crossed his face.
His head snapped to one side and he spit out three teeth.
Shit this guy is going to be pissed at me when this is over.
That is right when this is over for I was not about to stop now and leave this man possessed by the demon Satan!
The demon spoke to me in a tongue that only I could hear and understand.
He said, he said that he was going to eat this soul and he was going to eat mine as well and smoke came out of his mouth and nostrils. And flames flickered in the pupils of the man's eyes.
I brought the bible back across the mans face and said.

Luk 4:41 Demons also came out of many, crying out, “You are the Son of God!” But he rebuked them, and would not allow them to speak, because they knew that he was the Christ.


Luk 10:14-20 But it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon in the judgment than for you! And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven? No, you will be thrown down to Hades! “The one who listens to you listens to me, and the one who rejects you rejects me, and the one who rejects me rejects the one who sent me.” Then the seventy-two returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name!” So he said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Look, I have given you authority to tread on snakes and scorpions and on the full force of the enemy, and nothing will hurt you. Nevertheless, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names stand written in heaven.”

Then I laid my hand on his forehead and I said, "Satan you are a pussy, you know you are, and everyone in the kingdom of god knows you are. We all make fun of you, we laugh at your inadequacies and you inability to mount any type of real resistance to Jesus back in the day and today you are only as strong as the cable signal that transmits MTV."
“You Satan are a fucktard, wanna-be hardcore, ha you are a poser! That is right a poser! A cheap fancy pants copy of anything that is real and true. You are a fucking cheap knock off and I command you to leave this man now!"
I pushed back like I see in television and the man staggered back and back and then his eyes opened up and he wept.
He said “help me reverend help me please.” and he sobbed and he collapsed but the clever demon Satan had not vacated this man’s soul not just yet.
I opened the bible and read Luke 7 verse 20 through 23.

When the men came to Jesus, they said, “John the Baptist has sent us to you to ask, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or should we look for another?’” At that very time Jesus cured many people of diseases, sicknesses, and evil spirits, and granted sight to many who were blind. So he answered them, “Go tell John what you have seen and heard: The blind see, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, the poor have good news proclaimed to them. Blessed is anyone who takes no offense at me.”

Satan you offend god, you offend Jesus, you offend me and most of all you offend this man now go! Go now! Or I shall call you by your real name and send you to hell for ever!
Satan reared back into life in the man's face. The tears turned to steam and he stood. I then realized that this man was bigger when Satan was at the wheel.
“John, you foolish mortal. Do you really think you can kick me out? Do you think you have enough in you to take me on?”
“Shit you are a pathetic boxer who beats women and old men.”
“Not true Satan I beat all mortals that need education, just as I will beat you and I brought the bottle across his chin.”
The bottle split open and sprayed water across his shoulder and he winced as if it hurt this time.
Satan bellowed "You blessed your bottle of water??
"Yeah it's a habit" I shrugged
Satan stepped back as I unscrewed the cap and said.

Luk 8:2 and also some women who had been healed of evil spirits and disabilities: Mary (called Magdalene), from whom seven demons had gone out,

“Satan is a pussy and Satan needs to go home.”
Now the crowd was larger and the crowd began to press in as the smoke from the man was getting thicker and the smell of rotting flesh was beginning to stick in my nose and I began to heave a bit. I am not ashamed to say that threw up a little in my mouth but I held it and I went forward with the exorcism knowing that I had Satan on the ropes and I spoke to the demon Satan and I said, “Satan you will now go and not bother any of us now or ever. You will go and tell your fussy pussy fucker turd friends in Hades that I am here now and I am going to rid the world of your evil and your evil ways.”

Luk 8:30 Jesus then asked him, “What is your name?” He said, “Legion,” because many demons had entered him. 8:31 And they began to beg him not to order them to depart into the abyss. 8:32 Now a large herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside, and the demonic spirits begged Jesus to let them go into them. He gave them permission. 8:33 So the demons came out of the man and went into the pigs, and the herd of pigs rushed down the steep slope into the lake and drowned.

I placed my fists on my hips because it seemed a very super hero-ish thing to do and said, “Now go.” And with that I did a double round house kick and sent the demon sprawling. I leaped into the air and I dumped the remained of the water on the man and he screamed and he howled.
I brought the bible spine down on his forehead and said, “Demon go now! demon go now!” and with every drop of the bible I yelled “NOW!” and the crowd began to chant
“Satan go now! Satan go now!” and the murmur began to be come a choir of chanting for Satan to leave and the holy sprit came down and entered the man through his feet and I saw the spirit and I wept. I looked to heaven and as I did I saw the whole crowd weeping with happiness.

Luk 9:39 A spirit seizes him, and he suddenly screams; it throws him into convulsions and causes him to foam at the mouth. It hardly ever leaves him alone, torturing him severely. 9:40 I begged your disciples to cast it out, but they could not do so.” 9:41 Jesus answered, “You unbelieving and perverse generation! How much longer must I be with you and endure you? Bring your son here.” 9:42 As the boy was approaching, the demon threw him to the ground and shook him with convulsions. But Jesus rebuked the unclean spirit, healed the boy, and gave him back to his father. 9:43 Then they were all astonished at the mighty power of God.

And the bible spine broke again and pages of the gospel flew out and all around the man. And some landed on the man and he screamed and Satan come out of his mouth and the spirit followed chasing Satan and the crowd stopped chanting and the crowd gasped at the spectacle.
The man breathed in deep with a gasp as if coming up for air. His teeth were replaced the wounds from the bible and the bottle of water had healed. And looked to me as if for the first time and he stated what happened?
The crowed began to clap and we all helped the man to his feet.
He hugged us all as if we were family.
Then the manager stepped into the circle and said, “who is going to clean this mess up?”
“What have you done preacher? Goddamn it now I have to clean up the fucking mess. You people are out of control goddamn it.” And there was a flicker in his eye.
And I opened the bible and read:

Luk 4:31-35 So he went down to Capernaum, a town in Galilee, and on the Sabbath he began to teach the people. They were amazed at his teaching, because he spoke with authority. Now in the synagogue there was a man who had the spirit of an unclean demon, and he cried out with a loud voice, “Ha! Leave us alone, Jesus the Nazarene! Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are – the Holy One of God.” But Jesus rebuked him: “Silence! Come out of him!” Then, after the demon threw the man down in their midst, he came out of him without hurting him.

There are cookies and coffee and doughnuts in the foyer for everybody. I want everyone to remember that that on Christmas Eve I will be performing a midnight service and blessing foods for the Christmas meals that day. So if you would like your meal blessed bring the foods to the church that evening and during service I will bless the foods and drinks.
Please go in peace and have a great week!









Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Seven Deadly Sins: Pride By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Seven Deadly Sins: Pride
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Mar 7:22
adultery, greed, evil, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, pride, and folly.

Today we talk about Pride.


In almost every list Pride is considered the original and most serious of the seven deadly
Sins.

Did you know that the demon for pride is Lucifer? It was Lucifer’s pride that bested him and made god angry and cast Lucifer from heaven and transformed him into Satan.
Great classical plays and stories are about pride and how pride can destroy everything that made that person proud.
God hates evil and he hates pride.
When I was young I loved this woman very much. I would do anything for her but tell her that I loved her. Because she would no longer want to see me if I told her I loved her. That was her thing. She did it to all of my friends. She would boast about how beautiful she was an how she could get any man to fall in love with her and her beauty.

Pro 6:15 Therefore, his disaster will come suddenly;
in an instant he will be broken, and there will be no remedy.

We dated for quite a while and she would ask me if I loved her and I would get silent and I would appear to think on this.
Inside my heart and in my mind there was a fever for her and we wanted to scream to the heavens and to every stranger that we indeed loved her with every fiber of our existence.
And then I would look her in the eye and lie like a car salesman. No I do not love you yet but I do really like you and I really enjoy spending time with you. why do you love me?"
To which she would reply, "do not be silly for I am too pretty to love just you. I will marry a rich man and love him."

Pro 6:16 There are six things that the Lord hates, even seven things that are an abomination to him:

Pro 6:17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,

Now although my lie was a lie it was a small lie and I do not think that the good lord is going to let me beat up evil and save souls and then bar-b-que my feet.
But I know the lord was mad at her.



Pro 8:13
The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; I hate arrogant pride and the evil way and perverse utterances.

One day while in her arms I whispered very very softly that I loved her. The volume of my whisper was not even audible to my ears but I know she heard me. She began to make ridiculous demands of me. She made me forget my friends. She made me spend all of my money. She made me insane.
I began to drink from the guilt I carried for the leaving of my friends. Some of them really needed me but I forego them to make her happy. My guilt was a yoke of many men who had loved her. I felt I had lost all of myself in that one whispered statement. I had mortgaged everything that was me for her smile.
She never asked me if I loved her. She never asked me to do anything I did for her. She told me I loved her and I did no argue. She told me to leave my friends. She told me I drank too much and she told me to stop calling.
I did as I was told because I was in love and I had to believe that she would come around and love me too.
I drank more and more.
I walked the city streets in a tunnel vision haze of liquor and heart break.
I gave up showering because I thought she might call while I was in the shower.
She would see me on the street and she would be with her new boyfriend and they would point and laugh at me. She would tell her boyfriends that I loved her and that all men loved her because she was so beautiful.

Psa 59:12
They speak sinful words. So let them be trapped by their own pride and by the curses and lies they speak!

Well one day a few things happened that cause me to wake up.
One was a friend coming by and smacking me around until I saw the errors of my ways.
I dried out.
I sobered up and I fell out of love with the bitch.
I quickly began to hate the evil, twisted, tragic fucking cunt that had eaten my heart and vomited my love onto my feet.
I hated myself for the memory I carried in my heart and burned on my brain
I was now on a crusade to bring the fat fucking cow down. I began calling at all hours of the night. I would make calls and when a man answered I would tell him what an evil witch she was and they would laugh at me.
I got angrier and I began to follow the male suitors home after they had a date with her.
I would catch them on the steps of their apartments and I would come up behind them and grab them. I could smell her on their clothes and in their hair. I could see her lipstick on their flesh and I would become enraged to the point of berserk and I would beat them to an inch of their lives. The beating came so swift and fierce they did not even have a chance to see my face.
But she would tend their wounds and play nurse maid for the ones I broke bones. At least until they said the three words and then she would leave them in the dark on the couch or in the bed with no more than a "see you later baby".
She was evil and I was a man possessed by evil love slash hate.

Isa 13:11
I will punish the world for its evil, and wicked people for their sin. I will put an end to the pride of the insolent, I will bring down the arrogance of tyrants.

One morning I awoke and I no longer wanted to go out and hunt. I no longer wanted to find out who she was dating. I was over her. Three long years of this and I was awake. I was free of her spell, of her evil control.

Rom 12:16
Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty but associate with the lowly. Do not be conceited.

I began to get my life together. I began to see the light and one day while getting my ass beat by some crooked cops, god spoke to me and I found my calling and I became the person before you today.
But her, well the other day I was asked to help a member move out of a trailer park. We had about got all of the furniture moved out when I heard some yelling from the mobile home across the way.
The church member I was helping said that there was a troubled and dysfunctional couple in there and that they fought all hours of the day.
They raised reptiles for support and they were always drunk on cheap wine. And that they had been friends until I brought him to the lord.
We began to move boxes into the trailer when the door on the trailer busted open and the woman fell out. She was a mess, hair all scraggly and fat bulging out of the top of her too tight pants. She jiggled where one hopes to never jiggle.
The door burst open again and out came a very masculine woman.
“And do not ever come back again we are done. You hear me we are done. I am tired of hearing how beautiful you are and how every man wants to be with you. Where are they? “I see nothing! Hey there is a preacher you want to try and get him to fall in love.”
“No baby I love you please do not throw me out like this. I do not know what I will do without you.”
“The men mean nothing to me they are there to support us. I tell you I want nothing to do with them.”
Yes you guessed it the girl begging was the bitch that chewed me up.
The girl in the mud looked at me and she smiled. She did not even recognize me in amongst all of the other poor souls that she swallowed.
She stood and brushed off the mud. She stepped towards the door of the house and the woman charged down the stairs and slapped her to the ground. "I told you, you were done here I want you gone." And the she began to kick her while she huddled on the ground weeping in the fetal position.

Mal 4:2
But for you who respect my name, the sun of vindication will rise with healing wings, and you will skip about like calves released from the stall.

“You must stop” I yelled. And I picked up my blood stained, well worn, and tattered bible.
The church member I was assisting sat on the tail of the trailer and opened a beer.
“Wait here” I said.
I strode across the street towards the altercation.
She looked up and told me to mind my own business.
“But ma'am this is my business you are hurting another human being.”
“No I am telling my ex to leave but she will not.” And she kicked her again.
My ex-love began to weep and wail.
I stepped in between and helped her to her feet.
“You know father she is not special.”
“No my child we are all special and you are treading on a serious course to seeing the great lord himself.”
“Oh yeah is that so?”
“That is right” my old flame said, “You tell her Johnny.”
I looked at her and she looked at me and I knew at that moment she knew who I was and she knew I knew and she knew I did not love her anymore.
She just cratered. She knew I was walking away telling them both that they deserved each other.
But no I backed handed the masculine woman and slapped the bible across the old lovers face.
I told them both the story about pride and about how Lucifer was cast from heaven because of his pride and arrogance.
They repented after a couple of bible belts. They swore they would mend their ways and attend church. They have not arrived here and I hope they have arrived at another church.

Pro 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Stop in the foyer for some coffee and donuts. Talk to the deacons about the upcoming summer camp for the kids and how you may be able to assist in the training and teachings of young minds.
Please go in peace and do not honk at each other.


Amen





Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Get In The Game Or We All Lose. By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Get In The Game Or We All Lose.
    By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

I would like to talk about the laziness of some and the stupidity of the rest
 We all know the story of the ant and the grasshopper.
 In summary;
 The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

 But the whining bleeding hearts have brought about a change of the worst kind. The Katrina victims have brought light onto a new type of citizen, a new type of drag on society, another leak in the damn that is the American economy and thus created a new version of the story.
 I can not take credit for this as I received the story in an e-mail with out an author.
 So here how the new story goes,

 The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
 Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
 CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
 Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
 Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
 Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
 The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
 Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
 The ant loses the case.
 The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
 The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote.

Jer 12:1    
Lord, you have always been fair whenever I have complained to you. However, I would like to speak with you about the disposition of justice. Why are wicked people successful? Why do all dishonest people have such easy lives?

Pro 1:19    
Such are the ways of all who gain profit unjustly; it takes away the life of those who obtain it!

Pro 10:2    
Treasures gained by wickedness do not profit, but righteousness delivers from mortal danger.

Pro 11:4    
Wealth does not profit in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from mortal danger.

Pro 14:23    
In all hard work there is profit, but merely talking about it only brings poverty.

 They are successful because they fight and they cheat. You can be successful without cheating but you have to get in there and fight for what is yours.
 Yes that is right another “get in the game sermon.”
 I know that I have spoken three other times but these are the ones that I am asked to bring to my speaking engagements and my pos-mo sermons.

You all need to get in the goddamn game.

Psa 38:9    
O Lord, you understand my heart’s desire; my groaning is not hidden from you.

Psa 51:6    
Look, you desire integrity in the inner man; you want me to possess wisdom.


Psa 51:12    
Let me again experience the joy of your deliverance! Sustain me by giving me the desire to obey!

You all need to get in the goddamn game.

Psa 73:25    
Whom do I have in heaven but you? I desire no one but you on earth.

Psa 95:10    
For forty years I was continually disgusted with that generation, and I said, ‘These people desire to go astray; they do not obey my commands.’

I see many of you at the food line too many times. Are you all playing video games instead of looking for a job??
 What the fuck are you all doing?

Psa 75:5
Do not be so certain you have won! Do not speak with your head held so high!

 I know that we have a job board in the lobby that is filled with many jobs that do not require any special training.
 Get off your damn asses and get to fucking work!
 Make money!
 Provide for your family!
 Take pride in your life!
 Tithe to the church!
 Do not be the slothful grasshopper and not prepare for leaner times.
 Do not be a hobo or hippy that does not need money. Money is what makes the world go around.
 Be a provider! Set an example to your family on how to get in and compete.
 With out competition there will be no finish line there will be no end. You must race to finish.

Eze 33:5
He heard the sound of the trumpet but did not heed the warning, so he is responsible for himself. If he had heeded the warning, he would have saved his life.

 Be proud that you live a life of ass kicking. Be proud that you live a life of self sufficiency. Revel in the fact that what you put on the table is what you brought home not something that someone gave you.
 Stop being a drag on the rest of us and be one that helps build not tear down. Help bring the First Execration Church of Odium Anathema to the place that rivals any other church both in community and in family.
 The lord has spoken to me and has told me that if my community does not pick it there will be hell to pay.
 [Yell and bang on podium]That is right! [Yell and bang on podium] Hell to pay.
 So for now on –if you want to get a hand out at the food bank you have to come down to the church 2 days a week and box with me for 10 minutes before you can get a box of groceries.
 That is right you will now have to work for the hand out.
 If you do not like that then you can try to leech off the First Baptist Church down the street but be advised I have already spoken to the rest of the food banks and distributed pictures and outlines to the rest that you are a dead beat and a loser. If you do not like this then move to the next town.
 The Knights of Acrimony will be more than happy to drive you with the rest of the fucking homeless losers they run out of town every week.
 The times of free hand outs is over the times of coasting and getting by has hurt this country dearly and now we are all paying for the mistakes of generations before us.
 Get off your asses and get in the game.
 Finish the race right and just. Finish with a sense of pride and build a better community now and for the future.
 The more of you deadbeats the harder it is for us the longer you all drag the harder it is for the rest of us.
 One day they will say you know what you can just give up your freedoms and your choices. We are going to take care of everything and there you will not get to make any choices as we can make better ones for you all.

Mat 23:36
I tell you the truth, this generation will be held responsible for all these things!

 Then two generations later after that they say you know this is not worki9ng so now you have to work will we tell you work and no you do not get any choices in return you are still unable to think for yourselves and there we have the perfect government controlled society.

Jer 5:28
That is how they have grown fat and sleek. There is no limit to the evil things they do. They do not plead the cause of the fatherless in such a way as to win it. They do not defend the rights of the poor.

 They will pump the porn to your home to keep you inside and they will pump the television with government propaganda so the rest will be afraid to go out side and since you all lost the will to fight or care you all doomed us to an Orwellian society. And we all suffer and die a controlled death and are miserable.

1Co 9:24
Do you not know that all the runners in a stadium compete, but only one receives the prize? So run to win.

[Bang on the podium and yell] Get on the ball!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Get on the stick!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Just do it!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Get over it!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Get it together!
 Fucking wake yup you pathetic bunch of lazy bastards.
[Bang on the podium and yell]FUCK!
 Do not let the sinners win.
 Do not let the cheaters walk away with the prize
 Do not just roll over and whimper!
 Scream kick and punch the crap out of the heathens until the relinquish that which is yours.
 Now go and fight for that cookie.
 Fight for that cup of coffee.
 Fight for that place in traffic.
 Kick some ass and see me next week.








Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

I have a condition

So I have a story to tell you all.
I was a bad kid when I was younger. I did things that no one can understand unless they have been there. And those that have been there are usually dead or they will not talk about it. And so not to do those things I did different things.
And I am not going to talk about any of it except that I am going to say that one day a terrible terrible tragedy befell me and I was in a predicament that one talks to god in all earnest. And these stories are told all the time if the person experiencing them lives to tell the tale and witness.
So today I am going to witness
I was staring down the barrel of a gun one day and I knew I was going to die I knew this because I was going to pull the trigger. I was going to me my killer. I was going to right many injustices. This was not suicide nothing even close to it. I was going to be my judge jury and executioner. I had done some things that people are killed for and I was not going to do them any more.
I was there looking into the black hole that is the barrel of the shotgun and I was going over my crimes. all of them every single one because I carry them around with me and every day I wake I sit on the edge of my bed and I first go over my crimes and then I go over my list of hated people. This list is short because if I am to go over this list I do not want to go over much.
The list of crimes range from felonies to misdemeanors to crimes against nature and my fellow man.
That day I was putting my self on trial.
And I had no defense except I was just trying to survive.
So I had finished the case and I decided that I should be put down. And I pleaded with god to please stop this and let me live and god spoke to me. He said that the fact I was talking to him and that I was about to try myself for my crimes meant that I was repentant and that he forgave me.
He told me to become a witness and to spread the word through my ministry in my way. And then he touched my hands.
So every year about this time in April I have these markings on my hands they last about three days and they are gone.
I do not know and I do not talk about it with anyone.











Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..