Reverend John Sleestaxx &trade

A letter to my son

2010-01-22T10:36:00.001-08:00

Son:
Your teacher asked your parents to write a letter talking about lessons shown you or attempted to be taught to you.
I know I can be an old man at times, and sound like a know it all. But I am old and I do know an few things.
I want to keep it brief and un-mushy as I know you are reading this in a class room.

• Men do cry, but not in front of anybody. Women say they want a sensitive man but when the bill is due they want strength of character and conviction and one can not be a protector blubbering.
• Do not go to bed angry. You can not sleep and rest, with anger in you. If you must, put it aside when you go to bed, but pick it back up when you get up and go to war.
• Do not go to bed with dishes in the sink. This has a hidden meaning and one day you will get it. Hey you should learn a few things on your own.
• If you like her you will lift it, if you love her you will put it back down.
• Do any job, ANY job, as if you will see it from your own house. It is not worth doing if you can not do it right. Plain and simple.
• The world of fairies and unicorns has been paved over by Wal-Mart. The business world has changed. But in end, at the end of your days, you will be left to answer to yourself. So whatever you do, make sure it is right with yourself. Because it is you, that you have to answer to and if you can’t look at yourself, neither can anyone else. Always be a leader to yourself and those around you will follow and do the same.
• Do not put off till tomorrow what you can do today. You can find yourself short on time and resources because too many yesterdays have caught up with you.
• Most importantly panic kills. Stay calm and keep a clear head. The answer is always right there, you just have to see it.
• GTE wireless is now Verizon wireless.
• Listen to your mother.
• Don't eat yellow snow.
• Home is where you and your family are. Not the building holding your stuff.
• You are never ever alone

These simple lessons have given me the most comfort and the most grief. But if you master them as well as you have filled me with pride you will do fine in life.

Love,
Dad

Another class of 2009 speech

2009-07-22T06:13:00.000-07:00

Commencement speech for a graduating class of 2009.
By Rev. Sleestaxx

This was also written for another particular High school class that requested I speak at the ceremony. But it appears that the board and the PTO and some other whinny pussy types decided that a member of the rotary club was better suited for speaking to the future of our world and so they canceled my gig. I got to keep the travel and half the fee but I did not get to speak to the class. Thus the speech is mine and so I shall with you all.

Today you embark on a new era and new opportunity to make decisions based on your value system and not the one perpetrated by the foreign heathens or the corporate pirates.

As I look out upon the graduating class of 2009 I see bright eyes happy smiles and I see the future I also see mean eyes evil smiles and I still see the future.
I know I am looking upon the faces of some that should not have graduated but you made yourself such a burden upon your teachers that they gifted you a passing grade.
The coach tells me I am also looking out on some gifted athletes. Congratulations on your accomplishments they are not diminished because they are “just high school” They are the fruit of hard work and dedication to a discipline that many here know or do not know it does not matter it is recognized and rewarded.
All of you are a very special generation. You are all special in the way that you are the future. You are being handed a world. Not a country like I was or my father or his father. Literally you are being given a chance to effect change in the entire global community for in 20 years the majority in charge will be retired and yours will be the one in majority.
Yes there will be some pockets of craziness just like there is some in the country I was handed.
I see the faces of artists, scientist, hunters and fire starters. I see a class that will make change that will forever be remembered.
The scientist will make the world manageable and understandable with their science and critical thinking.
The artists will make the world livable and pleasant with their love of a good curve or a pleasing resonance the will vibrate the soul.
The hunters will protect and feed the world.
And the fire starters will both shape the direction and destroy. They will destroy the old dead rotting wood that is the old world and they will lay the direction of new growth.
You are our hope do not get caught up in your own greed like the dogs that are now in charge.
Do not get enraptured with your own beauty that you forget about the rest of the world like the generation in charge now.
Look at what the pirates have done and learn from the pigs and do not fall into their traps.
Look at your parents [pause and look at the families] and see the evil that that have borne into this world and do not bear the same sins as them.

[look for security on the left and the right]

[yelling and slamming the podium] Change the world
[yelling and slamming the podium] It is your right
[yelling and slamming the podium] It is your duty
[yelling and slamming the podium] It is the way of life and the way it was meant to be.

Remember the sevens sins and you should be able to get this planet back on the road to righteousness and into the age of enlightenment.
Lust
Do not get lost in the lust of shiny things.
Greed
Do not get lost in the pleasure of your own greed.
Gluttony
Do not become fat and corpulent on the sweat and blood of the weak like the generations before you.
Sloth
Do not become lazy and mortgage your soul for your own selfish pig headed inner child.
Wrath
Do not get so lost in your anger and revenge that you forget who you are.
Pride
Do not be so prideful that you look down upon the rest of your generation for everyone of you offer something that is needed by the other.
Envy
Do not become so envious that you loose sight of yourself and become so enraptured and encompassed in your desire that you stop being you.

[Bang on the podium]Do not get lost in the idolatrous worship.
[Bang on the podium]Do not forget to love your family.
[Bang on the podium]Do not lose sight of the prize.
[Bang on the podium]Do not forget to donate and assist in god's work.
[Bang on the podium]Do not forget to change our diapers

Go out and change something, it does not matter if the change is right because it will be changed again it just all needs change or we will die and we will wink out in this universe and no-one will know we were here.
Make noise make love make god but for the love of Christ make it happen. No get out there and fuck it up!

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Hello to the graduating class of 2009.

2009-06-19T14:23:00.000-07:00

Hello to the graduating class of 2009.
By Rev. Sleestaxx

This was written for a particular High school class that requested I speak at the ceremony. But it appears that the board and the PTO and some other whinny pussy types decided that a member of the rotary club was better suited for speaking to the future of our world and so they canceled my gig. I got to keep the travel and half the fee but I did not get to speak to the class. Thus the speech is mine and so I shall with you all.

I am going to tell a story of a young man who, like you, was graduating high school.
He was a bright lad, a smart kid with a nice set of parents. He was always thinking about things, girls and cars, engines and girls, and well more about girls than anything else.
He wanted to be famous, and he wanted to have plenty of girlfriends. He wanted the life of a rock star; he wanted to buy his daddy a Cadillac and his mom a big fancy house. He wanted everyone to know his name and he wanted to make sure the world was a place to raise children, because along with the girls, he knew one day he wanted a wife and kids, and he wanted to impart his great knowledge on his child, so that his child would one day grow up and graduate.
He wanted his child to buy him a big caddie, and his wife a big house with a big kitchen. So he thought a lot about what he could do to change the world and make him self famous too.
He finished high school and thought about it and thought about it. He decided that he had no ideas yet and so he decided that college would fill his brain with more knowledge and then he could think of something.
He went to college and the thought. He thought all the way through four years of school and graduated college.
During and after a ceremony much like this one he sat and thought about what he could do.
He thought and he thought. He went home to his parent’s house and thought. One night his father came home and announced that he was being laid off from the car plant because the country was in dire straights and now one was buying new cars.
He mother wept and his father consoled her with sweet whispers and gentle hugs. His mother took to doing the laundry for others in the neighborhood so they could buy bread and dried meat for meals.
Now he knew there was something he could and so he put to thinking more on this dilemma.
His mother died one day from skin cancer from being out in the sun hanging laundry all these years. At the funeral his father wept openly and howled at god. He shook his fist at the sky and rued the day the lord put breath into his own lungs. He had never seen his father so angry before.
The priest at the service died of a stroke while presiding over the service. The priest babbled something about Jesus and banana cups and fell face first into the dais and shat himself. After the wake his father sat him down and asked him what he was going to do.
Do what now Father what do you mean?
Son your mother is dead I am dieing of mesothelioma from the auto plant. You have gone to college and you have a big brain full of learnin’ what are you going to do with your life?
I have been thinking about this a long time dad and I think I want to be famous.
Well that is an ambition son how do you plan on achieving that?
I am thinking about that now.
Ok son but you might as well cover your self in maple syrup and hump chickens.
What is that suppose to mean dad?
Well because famous don't pay shit and you have wasted your life thinking. At least you would have been famous for being covered in maple syrup and having perverted sex with fowls, you would have been sent to prison and been out of my house a long time ago.
[Dramatic pause]
The moral is, you have plans, you know what you want to do, and you have finished high school.
Go to college, get out of college, and do something, anything, make sure it doesn't hurt when you do it, but do something. Get out of your parents house, get into the world and make a change, get into the world and shape it to YOUR will, rest control from the pigs, pirates, dogs, and thieves. Take over the world, steer the world into another direction, but do not stare into the oblivion see your demise and do nothing. That was for the generation in charge and what the generations have done for the past millennia. They all looked in to the event horizon, shit themselves and decided to be criminals and perverts, don’t do that!
Get on the stick, spread the sun tan lotion and get freaking dirty.
Put tape on the computer cards, bend the quarters and fold the dollar bills. Wake everyone up and show them the sunrise.
Shake your fist at the government not god.
Rue the day the government forgot about the people.
Remind companies they are made of people not machines or commodities that can be brokered and marginalized like everything else.
But the most important thing of all is to get out of my house because I have no place for you at my table any more.

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Fear is what keeps us civilized.

2009-03-17T11:31:00.000-07:00

Fear is what keeps us civilized.
By Rev. John Sleestaxx

Fear of god's judgment
Fear of peer judgment
Fear of hell
Fear of no hell
Fear of god
Fear of no god
The fear of knowing that once this is all done and over we are all just meat to be consumed by the bugs and the bacteria in the ground.
So we go through life thinking about if I do this what will be the outcome?
But the human animals, the beasts, the mouth breathers, the sinners, the bankers and the pirates of this great world that was once a glorious place to be a part of have realized that they do not care about tomorrow or the outcome. It is about today and what can they steal from us, what harm can they do to us and what can they do for themselves.
These are the criminals that we allow to walk among us and we hide our eyes from their view because we are afraid of them and hope they pass us by and steal from our neighbor instead. We have let them run amuck and get too much control. We need to wrest the helm from these doers of ill and sin and take back what is ours. We shall start with our dignity and finish with a pound of flesh nearest their heart.
We shall say "NO MORE!" “You shall take no more! You shall leave our sight! You are banished to the outside. Leave our city and leave our lives. Go now and scratch your existence from the dirt and clay whence you came from.”
“Go now without your goods, your belongings, your coat and robes of wealth and ill gotten goods. Be known that your are now marked as a thief and you shall be treated as such. Let no man give you work and let no women feed you. See what you have wrought on the rest of the world and let god judge you for you have been judge and found not worthy to be human nor animal and not worth the wood to burn you as you deserve.
You beasts you criminals you evil men of industry pirates and privateers all of you. You all make me sick you all make me hate the human race again and again and again.

Inaugural Address

2009-01-21T07:53:00.000-08:00

I wrote this last month in case I was asked to be Obama’s speech writer. Alas I did not get the gig so this is all mine

Inaugural Address
By Rev. John Sleestaxx

Today we embark on a new era and new opportunity to make decisions based on our value system and not the one perpetrated by the foreign heathens or the corporate pirates.
Today we start an era that will begin our great divorce from credit demons and the slave traders of the banks. Today we make ourselves known as the new America, a sharper America, and an America that will be forever known as the America that woke up.
We need to retool our economy, we need to get off the horse (heroin) that is credit, we need to kick the crack habit that is materialism, and we need to say no to the pusher that is Wal-mart and the peddlers of the shit that is killing our economy. We need to get out and work and dig in the soil and build new clean plants that rival china’s, plants that can build our own consumables that that the world needs. We need to make the rest of the world realize that they need us too. That without us buying and consuming they would not be in the prosperous position they are in now. Most of those mother fuckers would be in the dark, fucking their relatives and in marriage to farm animals. The world needs to see us for the power that we are. Sure, they all say ‘oh those guys they are too stupid and they are bullies they are an old dog with no teeth.’ But they all want to live here; they all want to live the American dream. Lets us lift our dream to the world again and make it ours again. Let us create a country that is awesome again.
We will reshape our culture to embrace change and diversity, but at the same time swallow diversity. We will not get lost, like we have been, in the sea of political correctness. Because that is our failure of the past. We have tried to embrace, but got lost and we let the change swallow us, we lost our identity and ourselves, we lost our opportunity to strike out and be original. We became watered down version of someone else. We need to reclaim ourselves, reshape our culture so that we again stand head and shoulders above the rest of the heathens and pagans and worshipers of Satan. We need to be the one that is looked up to, we will be the ones that everyone listens too again, this is our time and we will make it happen. This change is going to work and happen and we are going to work to make it happen.
We need to redefine our position in the global community. In the past we were the ones that brought the conveniences and the innovations to the planet. We were the ones that defined what was new and cool. We captured the lightning and brought light to the darkness that was an age, we harnessed fire and heat to drive progress across the entire globe, and we tamed the wind to carry our dreams around the world and to the rest of the planet. We thought that the current system of communication was to slow we made new faster ways to carry our thoughts and words to the rest of the heathens. And when the rest of the world thought that all that had been invented and thought of and nothing else could be made or thought of, we took our shit to the stars man. We fucking left this world and fucking stood across the greatest divide and looked down on the earth and said “this planet isn’t so fucking big.”
And then we developed a machine that can predict the weather and we saved lives. We developed the internet and porn was unleashed to even the poorest pervert in the farthest corner of this globe.
We have always been the ones to make change. We have always been the ones to developed better conveniences. We, the ones that were cast out of Europe and sent to this lousy spit piece of land and look what we have done for this world and now we have gotten lost, we have wallowed and fucking screwed our fellow American at every turn to the point that the global community have forgotten that we are the “shit”! We need to get up and out and remind them that we are the “shit” again. We will be the ones that develop the next big thing and we need to be prepared to capitalize on this. Be it stem cells and life saving medicine or new transportation that will cripple the fuel markets and create new ones. But we need to get up off our asses and do this. We need to “kick this mother out!”
We also need to keep ever sharp for those that want to do us harm. Because we are the shit, we have our fair share of haters. There are those that want to do us harm. We may not have been the most proper in the past, but we also have had many attacks on us for the simple reason that we are the shit!
Let me address these haters, these detractors, these heathens and worshipers of Satan and false gods. No matter whether your god has a beard or wears a beanie or a turban or your god really is not a god because he does not exist does not exclude the fact that we are all bipedal animals with opposable thumbs that use tools and are basically social, we are all stuck on this rock for a reason. Stop thinking that you can break our backs, that your god in a turban is better than our god in a robe. We will be victorious because we are the shit! We are the mother fucking shit! And we bring change that will rock your socks and kick your ass.
America is going to wake up today and kick this mother out!

Inauguration Prayer

2009-01-20T11:16:00.000-08:00

I wrote this months ago in case I was asked to give the inauguration prayer

Inauguration Prayer
By Rev. John Sleestaxx

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. - Ezekiel 25:17

Oh lord I know I am not your son Jesus but I do know I am your favorite. How much longer do I have to endure the agony of these whinny sinners?
Oh lord dear god our god on high how long do I have to temper my frustration and rage for these blasphemers and pirates of industry, these fascists of economics and slave traders of banking.
When oh dear lord will you make them pay for their sins and their transgressions on their fellow man. When dear lord will they be shown the way to my door? So that I may start them on the long painful path of retribution and penance?
I am ready lord oh dear god I am ready. I have been training my whole life for this moment this monumental beating for this baptism I know their my be some blood shed I know there will be tears of shame and joy but in the end these agents of Satan will see the light and they will be over come with the joy that your light brings and they will be repentant.
I am just saying it is time, it is time to put you humble servant, your most sharpest tool to work.
Dear god coach, put me in, I will carry this rag tag lot of mouth breathers to glory.
But I am here to open this ceremony for the new president.
The Americans have chosen their champion for the next four years.
Please lord protect this man as he fights for me, he fights for all Americans and he fights to spread Christian beliefs across the globe to the corners of the sinful world. He will be the chosen one to force these beliefs unto the unwashed masses fore their own good mind you.
Forget that I question his sexual preference (not that there is anything wrong with that). Forget that some of his beliefs ring of communism? Which is fine since Christianity will be included in these laws of man.
Please guide his hand as he signs and does not Sign the laws of man.
Guide us and him.
Temper his heart in the case we are attacked so that his head is clear when he decides how to act in regards of protecting our beloved homeland building that was built on the backs of outcasts from all walks of life.
Please keep his eye sharp ad his aim is true in regards to piloting this ship of thieves, pirates, and sinners that we call the united states of america.
Please help him separate the chafe (cheaters) from the wheat (good people of this county) when fixing the convoluted fucked up mess of this economy.
Help him beat the retards and liars of the house into remembering why the fuck they are there in the first fucking place like you help me beat the non-believers into seeing your glorious light.
Remember this is their champion their leader to which all eyes are on and all are looking for guidance and leadership.
We are preparing to do battle in your name. These blasphemers we are about to face are right now talking evil about your humble servants, Lord. We are now going to do your will, we are now going out onto the field of war and kick their asses Lord, oh yes we are going to kick their asses. We are going to beat the snot out of them. So that they will know that you are the true Lord, the righteous Lord, and because we will let them live they will know that you are a fair and kind Lord.
We now embark on a righteous path to your glory. We carry you name and strength in our hearts. We are to be victorious in your name Lord. We are to beat and stomp the shit out of our opponents, Lord. We will tattoo your name in their buttocks as we kick them down the field.
And when they have realized their loss they will be sorry they opposed you Lord they will utter pleas of forgiveness and repentance. They will ask you to take them back into your fold and let them suckle on you generosity and forgiveness.
The heathens and the unwashed have challenged your word and your will. They have stepped onto our field. They have defiled the sacred ground that was blessed by you Lord. Right now Lord they speak terrible untruths and blasphemous accusations about you humble servants. They say we are not worthy of being champions, they say you are not with us Lord. Help us to show them the path Lord, help us show them the error of their ways, let us be your muscle and your sinew. Lets us deliver your punishment to the evil that is our competition, Lord.
Let us carry your word with our strength and our hearts. Let us shine with your glory that is so bright that the evil that opposes us will be blinded. Let your voice be so loud that the sinners that are the other team be deafened from your word. Let those that came to watch your servants perform your will on this field be proud of us like you are proud of us now.
Though our win Lord, the blasphemers and the unrighteous will see you your strength and your might, and they will bow and beg forgiveness. For on this day Lord through you we will be victorious and we will be the champions you made us.

To the Church in Philadelphia

2009-01-05T06:22:00.000-08:00

Letters to the church from the lord #6
To the Church in Philadelphia
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

To the Church in Philadelphia

Rev 3:7 “To the angel of the church in Philadelphia write the following:

“This is the solemn pronouncement of the Holy One, the True One, who holds the key of David, who opens doors no one can shut, and shuts doors no one can open:
Rev 3:8 ‘I know your deeds. (Look! I have put in front of you an open door that no one can shut.) I know that you have little strength, but you have obeyed my word and have not denied my name.
Rev 3:9 Listen! I am going to make those people from the synagogue of Satan – who say they are Jews yet are not, but are lying – Look, I will make them come and bow down at your feet and acknowledge that I have loved you.
Rev 3:10 Because you have kept my admonition to endure steadfastly, I will also keep you from the hour of testing that is about to come on the whole world to test those who live on the earth.
Rev 3:11 I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have so that no one can take away your crown.
Rev 3:12 The one who conquers I will make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he will never depart from it. I will write on him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God (the new Jerusalem that comes down out of heaven from my God), and my new name as well.
Rev 3:13 The one who has an ear had better hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’

Do you know what he is speaking of?
Do you?
He is saying that he knows the trials and tribulations that you have been subjected too. He knows that you have been beaten and you have been persecuted. But he has rewards waiting for you because you stood strong in his word through all hell and adversity. He also has some punishment to be dealt out to the false Jews of the synagogue of Satan.

Exo 23:1
“You must not give a false report. Do not make common cause with the wicked to be a malicious witness.

Do not lie in his name, do not lie for any reason at all. Do not bring your self to the level of the persecutors and torturers of the world. Do not create strife and adversity with in the family unit. Be strong as a family as you are strong in the word of the lord.

Exo 23:7
Keep your distance from a false charge – do not kill the innocent and the righteous, for I will not justify the wicked.

There is no reason for lying. There is no reason to subjugate the weak and innocent. For no reason known to god or man is there a reason to lie cheat and steal but it happens everyday, everyday in church, everyday in academia, everyday in business and every day in the government. Can I get a witness?
Even though the world is out to crush and enslave the righteous you do not get to break the rules and laws of god. But you will be rewarded for following the rules and laws. That means when your boss brags about the great financial success of the business and then gives you no raise and tells you there just is no money to compensate. You will be rewarded. But do not steal from you boss do not lie about you time sheet and do not lie to protect your boss when he has committed a crime either.

Psa 144:11
Grab me and rescue me from the power of foreigners, who speak lies, and make false promises.

Do not fall into the trap of the global economy. Along with cheaper goods because of the averaging of COGs there is also the averaging of salaries. Also when the corporations line their pockets with profits and then take the rest and invest in the economy of the foreign nations to build their goods they are starving their cash cow.
They invest in the company but they do not invest in their local and country economies. These men are the ones that will bring about the end times and the anti-Christ will rise from them.

Pro 6:19
a false witness who pours out lies, and a person who spreads discord among family members.

Families are not just those tied by blood they are also the people you work with. They are the people that you shop with. They are the people you next too. They are the people that your children go to school with. You do not need to be gossiping, rumor-milling, and scandalizing. These are family for good or ill they are your community they are the people that you live with.
Be kind to your family. Be right with your family. Do not try and tear down your family members help and they help you. They succeed and you succeed.

Rev 20:7
Now when the thousand years are finished, Satan will be released from his prison 20:8 and will go out to deceive the nations at the four corners of the earth, Gog and Magog, to bring them together for the battle. They are as numerous as the grains of sand in the sea. 20:9 They went up on the broad plain of the earth and encircled the camp of the saints and the beloved city, but fire came down from heaven and devoured them completely. 20:10 And the devil who deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet are too, and they will be tormented there day and night forever and ever.

Dan 11:21
“Then there will arise in his place a despicable person to whom the royal honor has not been rightfully conferred. He will come on the scene in a time of prosperity and will seize the kingdom through deceit.

Gog and Magog are the kings of Asia and the land of Asia. They are the eaters of the world in the book of revelations. They will be the ones that bring the plagues upon us. I am not saying that Asians are the devil I am saying that the kings or the corporate leaders that allow lead paint to be on child toys, leaders and CEOs that allow poison to be placed in tooth paste that will be given to the poor and the people of third world countries. Do not think this a mistake. This is part of a greater plan to rid the world of the hangers-on , the ones thought to be dragging the world down. A culling of the heard so to speak is under way.
This is also part of a greater plan to have the common folk hand the control over. Look at how terrible things are look at the horrific tragedies and look what we can do to fix the problems. Look at the changes that can be made provided you give us total control over your environments. You can no longer afford housing we will provide housing. You can no longer take proper care of your children we will take care of your children. You can no longer take care of your self let us take care of you.
Think for yourself. Buy local when you can. Treat your neighbor with care and love. Treat your family with the respect they deserve, and that includes those members that are not tied with blood.
The cookies and donuts are American made and the coffee is of American roast. The single mothers support group is looking for some strong backs to help move some of the sisters to better accommodations. Also I understand that some of the single men are now dating some of the single mothers and I have preformed 2 marriages from that mix. I am glad to see that the community is getting better intertwined and interleaved this will make us stronger and make us a greater force when the time comes to beat the devil back into hell.

Speaking of hell, the Henderson's elderly mother was run down in the parking lot during an altercation over exiting the parking lot. Please, please be a little more Christian until you have exited the parking lot.

To the Church in Sardis

2008-12-12T13:48:00.000-08:00

Letters to the church from the lord #5
To the Church in Sardis
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

The lord becomes very upset with us in the future.
I never want to see us receive a letter like this,

Rev 3:1 “To the angel of the church in Sardis write the following: “This is the solemn pronouncement of the one who holds the seven spirits of God and the seven stars: ‘I know your deeds, that you have a reputation that you are alive, but in reality you are dead.
Rev 3:2 Wake up then, and strengthen what remains that was about to die, because I have not found your deeds complete in the sight of my God.
Rev 3:3 Therefore, remember what you received and heard, and obey it, and repent. If you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will never know at what hour I will come against you.
Rev 3:4 But you have a few individuals in Sardis who have not stained their clothes, and they will walk with me dressed in white, because they are worthy.
Rev 3:5 The one who conquers will be dressed like them in white clothing, and I will never erase his name from the book of life, but will declare his name before my Father and before his angels.
Rev 3:6 The one who has an ear had better hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’

Do not sit back and coast in church or n the word of god. Get out and evangelize beat the good lord into the sinners every chance you get.
The good lord says that you are dead if you just sit there like a lump on the bank of the river.
You are not pleasing him by just coasting. You are pissing him off.

Deu 1:41 Then you responded to me and admitted, “We have sinned against the Lord. We will now go up and fight as the Lord our God has told us to do.” So you each put on your battle gear and prepared to go up to the hill country.

Do not think that oh I am saved and I do not have to worry as I have a seat in heaven. NO you do not as he has just said. He knows that you have done certain deeds but now you are doing nothing.
Do not coast; do not believe in a guarantee. there is no guarantees other than what the lord has just said and that was that he will come in the night like a thief and you will never know because he will leave the dead behind. The ones that work will wear white and walk with him.
I will walk with him as I work every fucking day for him.
I go out and spread the word and the spirit, I walk the mean streets and I preach to the sinners. It is easy to preach to the saved. Shit most of you all are all asleep and don't even know what the hell I am saying.

Jdg 5:11 Hear the sound of those who divide the sheep among the watering places; there they tell of the Lord’s victorious deeds, the victorious deeds of his warriors in Israel. Then the Lord’s people went down to the city gates –

Jdg 5:13 Then the survivors came down to the mighty ones; the Lord’s people came down to me as warriors.

You just know that I am here talking about the promise land and the promise the lord has made.

Isa 32:9 You complacent women, get up and listen to me! You carefree daughters, pay attention to what I say!

Many preachers and ministers all stay the safe route. Not me I get down in the dirt, I get in the pits of despair with these fucking losers every freaking day and I save souls and I bring souls to the lord every day.

Isa 32:11 Tremble, you complacent ones! Shake with fear, you carefree ones! Strip off your clothes and expose yourselves – put sackcloth on your waist!

I hear the lord speak to these poor pathetic wretches and I hear him tell them it is not enough to go to church but you must go out and crusade and evangelize. You have to tell others about the wonder that is are god.

Isa 47:10 You were complacent in your evil deeds; you thought, ‘No one sees me.’ Your self-professed wisdom and knowledge lead you astray, when you say, ‘I am unique! No one can compare to me!’

You have to get in there and bring the sheep in. it is not enough to sow the seed you have to harvest the crop,
You have to pull the weeds. The weeds will kill the garden. they will choke the plants and absorb the nutrients and water that meant for the children of god.

Deu 20:3 “Listen, Israel! Today you are moving forward to do battle with your enemies. Do not be fainthearted. Do not fear and tremble or be terrified because of them,

So every day I go and I fight the good fight. I go out and I thump a few heads and I bring lost souls into the fold. He wants you to help also. Find a bum and beat the good lord into him. If he is too far gone for you and your abilities drive the piece of human trash to the next town and let them carry his burden.
Let us clean the streets of the trash and help our city to thrive. get the leeches off the teat that is our welfare system. They are going to suck us dry and then there will be no place for the rest of us.
Become the strong plant in the garden and compete for the sunshine and the water and the nutrient. Fight the good fight and beat the shit out of the sinners and the hangers on.
Beat the pornographers into seeing the errors of their ways. Beat the illegal aliens into become legal citizens. Find the homeless that are the cancer of our neighborhood and either get them in to the game or get them out of our town.

Lev 26:6 I will grant peace in the land so that you will lie down to sleep without anyone terrifying you. I will remove harmful animals from the land, and no sword of war will pass through your land.

Let us make a town that can be proud when god arrives in the night like a thief.
When the good lord comes I want to bring my entire flock to him and say look lord at the wondrous work we have done in your name.
Look at our deeds and se that we have lived to your word and expectations.
Look at the bastards down the street that say they believe but they all fornicate and drink and snort the cocaine and pretend be of the word of god.

Psa 89:10 You crushed the Proud One and killed it; with your strong arm you scattered your enemies.

Psa 94:2 Rise up, O judge of the earth! Pay back the proud!

Look at the bastards across town that can not even crusade because they are too soft and they can not handle the truth of your word.
Look at the pussies that can not believe that your god would be an angry god. The bible tells of god saying he is an angry god.
Look at the crazies that run around and scream the end is near but they do nothing to prepare the rest of the world for god’s coming.

Psa 123:4 We have had our fill of the taunts of the self-assured, of the contempt of the proud.

We are the ass kickers, we are the beaters of you word, we bring the word to the ones who need it and we are the ones that crusade in your name oh lord.
We bring the heathens and the unwashed to your feet and they see you oh lord and they became fearful of the sins they have committed and they straighten their evil ways.
That is the work we do and that is the work the lord wants.
Go and kick ass in the name of the lord. That is what the letter in revelations is saying. Do not rest back and think that it is all wine and roses.

Nah 2:1 The watchmen of Nineveh shout: “An enemy who will scatter you is marching out to attack you!” “Guard the rampart! Watch the road! Prepare yourselves for battle! Muster your mighty strength!”

Nah 2:3 The shields of his warriors are dyed red; the mighty soldiers are dressed in scarlet garments. The metal fittings of the chariots shine like fire on the day of battle; the soldiers brandish their spears.

It is work and it has always been work. There has never been a time when it was to be fun expect when Adam and Eve were the chosen and in the garden. Then Eve blew it and now we are out in the cold cruel world and now we have to fight for our food and we have to fight for our shelter and we die.

Gen 3:6 When the woman saw that the tree produced fruit that was good for food, was attractive to the eye, and was desirable for making one wise, she took some of its fruit and ate it. She also gave some of it to her husband who was with her, and he ate it. 3:7 Then the eyes of both of them opened, and they knew they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

Because of the mistake of the mother and the father we have to work real hard to beck into heaven and the good graces of the lord our god.

3:17 But to Adam he said, “Because you obeyed your wife and ate from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’ cursed is the ground thanks to you; in painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.

So this sermon is a call for you all to go and beat the good word into some sinners and clean the damn city up for right now it likes like crap.
The singles mothers group would like to invite the single fathers and the single men to a mixer this evening. There will be a live band performing and cocktails available. The idea is to network the singles and provide like minded individuals an opportunity to meet and get to know one another.
Cookies, cakes, and coffee are in the lobby for your enjoyment.
Go forth and clean the trash and crud from the streets. Wash the sidewalk with the blood of sinners and make them all see the light.

Letters to the church from the lord #7

2008-12-08T14:36:00.001-08:00

Letters to the church from the lord #7
To the Church in Laodicea
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Gen 31:29
I have the power to do you harm, but the God of your father told me last night, ‘be careful that you neither bless nor curse these people.’

The lord becomes very upset with us in the future.
I never want to see us receive a letter like this,

To the Church in Laodicea

Rev 3:14 “To the angel of the church in Laodicea write the following:
“This is the solemn pronouncement of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the originator of God’s creation:
Rev 3:15 ‘I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either cold or hot!
Rev 3:16 So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I am going to vomit you out of my mouth!
Rev 3:17 Because you say, “I am rich and have acquired great wealth, and need nothing,” but do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked,
Rev 3:18 take my advice and buy gold from me refined by fire so you can become rich! Buy from me white clothing so you can be clothed and your shameful nakedness will not be exposed, and buy eye salve to put on your eyes so you can see!
Rev 3:19 All those I love, I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent!
Rev 3:20 Listen! I am standing at the door and knocking! If anyone hears my voice and opens the door I will come into his home and share a meal with him, and he with me.
Rev 3:21 I will grant the one who conquers permission to sit with me on my throne, just as I too conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne.
Rev 3:22 The one who has an ear had better hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’”

What is being said here is that indifference makes the lord sick. Neither hot nor cold, could not care one way or the other is the same as not caring at all. No the lord wants us to be passionate. The lord wants us to care. He does not tell us what to care about he just wants us to care.
You must go into the world with the intentions to change the things that need to be changed. To change the things that can be changed. Push the boundaries tear the envelope. But make a difference not an indifference.

Psa 55:19
God, the one who has reigned as king from long ago, will hear and humiliate them. They refuse to change, and do not fear God.

Rom 8:21
that the creation itself will also be set free from the bondage of decay into the glorious freedom of God’s children.

Jer 5:3
Lord, I know you look for faithfulness. But even when you punish these people, they feel no remorse. Even when you nearly destroy them, they refuse to be corrected. They have become as hardheaded as a rock. They refuse to change their ways.

Do not be someone’s bitch. Do not be someone’s hey boy because you need the cash and it all pays the same. blah blah blah No strike out in the world looking for a place to burn your mark. Look for an opportunity to kick the world in the nuts. And yell into the ear of society [Yelling] "wake the fuck up bitch I am here and I am going to make some goddamn changes!"

Exo 5:13
The slave masters were pressuring them, saying, “Complete your work for each day, just like when there was straw!”

Lev 25:39
“‘If your brother becomes impoverished with regard to you so that he sells himself to you, you must not subject him to slave service.

Move the furniture around make the world yours. Own it! Work it as if you are a potter, or a blacksmith. Do not pick it up off the shelf and say ‘eeh I can live with this like it is.’
That is fucking crap! That is not what the lord god is saying here. [In sissy voice] Oh I do not like change. What if I make the wrong change.
There is no wrong change! There is only change. Wrong change is the change that does not happen, because you are a pussy! Do not fight change, fight for change.

Dan 2:9
If you don’t inform me of the dream, there is only one thing that is going to happen to you. For you have agreed among yourselves to report to me something false and deceitful until such time as things might change. So tell me the dream, and I will have confidence that you can disclose its interpretation.”

Look at the corporate machine that is fueling our economy. They made change, they said tune in, turn on, drop out, or some such shit like that. They fucking made some serious change.
Now what do we have for their change. Gay marriages, rampant drug use, and women in the work place. There is more there but you get the picture. All are changes that can be acted upon. All are even more opportunities to make a difference. If you think gay marriages should be legal then change the rest of the states laws. If you think women should be in the work place then fight for more equality and more opportunity for them to work. If you think drugs should be legalized then fight for the legalization of drugs but damn it fucking do something. the generations before made changes and made mistakes fix the mistakes and make fucking changes.

Jer 15:7
The Lord continued, “In every town in the land I will purge them like straw blown away by the wind. I will destroy my people. I will kill off their children. I will do so because they did not change their behavior.

If you do not change a thing the wrongs never get righted and they become law. Then they become more difficult to change and you will become a stagnate pool of skin, puss, bone and tears. You will sit there in your own excrement and whine that it is not fair and that someone should do something to make it fair.
[Yelling LOUD] fuck fair! [Middle Finger]
And fuck you whiners.
Get up and change something. Start with your diapers and then with your attitude. It is not that attitude that created fire, it is not that attitude that created equal voting rights for the blacks, it is not that attitude the created slush funds and false companies to hide debt and profit loss.
That attitude is what the losers use to hide their inability to find a pair of testicles and back bone.
Fair is what second place says when they should have picked up the pace but decided to let someone else finish the race.
Get out there and fucking kicks this shit into high gear and fucking change some shit. Do not care if the shit is wrong? If it is wrong someone will change behind you. If it is too wrong you will not be able to make the change stick.
But do not get lost on the side of the race distracted by you own reflection; do not get on the rabbit trails that are greed, lust and self pity.
Do not let sloth and envy trip you up!

Act 8:23
For I see that you are bitterly envious and in bondage to sin.”

Kick Satan in the head and tell his pussy legions to get out of your way cause you are about to change some shit!
Tell the whiners that are in the way to get out of the way cause you are about to kick the shit out of boredom and monotony.
The status quoi is burning down mother fucker and there is no amount of water to stop this blaze!
The ho hum drum life that your parents knew is flat lining and you are unplugging the fucking paddles.
Pull the plug on boring and stuff the shit into a body bag cause it is fucking cold and done man.
The everyday same ol’ same ol’ is now at room temp and still getting stiffer by the minute.
Write on the toe tag deceased, cause of death boredom! Toss a couple of coins for the ferry man and torch the bitch. Let it burn down and let the fucking wind carry the ashes away.

Heb 3:13
But exhort one another each day, as long as it is called “Today,” that none of you may become hardened by sin’s deception.

Drink in the waters of power and courage, be gluttonous at the fountain of youth, and eat your enemies for they will give you power.
Kick the shit out of the old world. It is done it is wrong and it is going to hell.

Deu 4:34
Or has God ever before tried to deliver a nation from the middle of another nation, accompanied by judgments, signs, wonders, war, strength, power, and other very terrifying things like the Lord your God did for you in Egypt before your very eyes?

The old world is lead by old fucking people that have forgotten about their jobs, they have forgotten about the changes they were suppose to make, they are old and they are on the way out, kick them out the door and beat their changes to the ground. They are too fucking old to go back now. They have too much to lose. They are too fat on their greed and their false power. They have sucked the life out of too many and are now just feeding on them selves. They would eat their mother if she was still alive but alas she died when they killed retirement funds.

Tit 1:12
A certain one of them, in fact, one of their own prophets, said, “Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.”

Hos 10:13
But you have plowed wickedness; you have reaped injustice; you have eaten the fruit of deception. Because you have depended on your chariots; you have relied on your many warriors.

Fuck them and fuck their future.
Your future is where it is at your future is what fucking matters now and you had better start on it right away or someone will change you out of the world and you will be left holding the dirty shitty diaper that was your father's world.

Deu 5:15
Recall that you were slaves in the land of Egypt and that the Lord your God brought you out of there by strength and power. That is why the Lord your God has commanded you to observe the Sabbath day.
And with every kind of evil directed against those who are perishing, because they found no place in their hearts for the truth so as to be saved. The evil doers of the world before you are condemned to hell for all eternity.
Do not burn with them, throw them into the pit and stomp on their fingers to make them fall
[Yell to the sky] because your time is now! [Bang on podium]
Your sun is rising and theirs is setting and they now have to face atonement for their evil deeds.
Fuck them [bang on podium]
The bastards[bang on podium]

The teen center and boxing ring are near completion and the contractor apologizes every other day when I go out to talk to him. Apparently the Knights of Acrimony have been talking to him and showing him pictures of the his kids at school. And one picture of him sleeping next to his wife really motivated him into finishing the job. Who knew he was so vain? Go figure.
Coffee and donuts are not being offered today because some nit wit forgot co-ordinate the offering of morning sugar and caffeine.
Go in peace and do not kill anybody in the parking lot.

What is a real man?

2008-11-26T10:34:00.000-08:00

What is a real man?
By Rev. John Sleestaxx

I have a twitter account I follow many people and many follow me. I follow an account that claims to be writing an auto-bio and he posted a question what is the definition of a “real man”. And I got to thinking.
The dictionary does not define real man but it does say that a man is.
The bible does not define a real man but does speak of the rules of manhood.
How do we know what a real man is?
“Dope” an industrial metal band has many songs that speaks to me Slipping away is one in particular the lyrics that start out

“I'm trying hard to understand
I'm trying hard to do the things it takes to be a man
Life's slipping away from me
It's not the way I thought it'd be”
Dope 2007

Today I think the fine art of being a man or shall we say the great industry to be a man has been outsourced to week kneed, milk sop bastards. We have decided that MTV can raise our kids, that video games and the like can raise our kids. Now wait! I am not blaming video games or Television on anything they onus falls on the parents to instill a foundation of proper values and human ethics. If this is done right there is nothing wrong with video games and television and internet. Everyone is properly armed to make the right and ethical decisions based on the information that is at hand.
But the captains of industry and the pirates of the economy have created a terrible climate that causes many men to be busy and the education of a real man is lost in a sea of excess and debauchery. MTV tells everyone to run around and stick your dick in anything ANYTHING that feels right and to not worry about the consequences this is defiantly an attack on the proper teaching of manhood.

Ecc 11:9
Rejoice, young man, while you are young, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth. Follow the impulses of your heart and the desires of your eyes, but know that God will judge your motives and actions.

This causes a GIGO (garbage in garbage out) syndrome. Early dad hood to a dad who does not know how to be a man creates a climate of the blind leading the blind and well shit there goes the whole industry of being a man.
Dad can be too fucked up in the head too damaged from the improper teachings to know what it takes to be a man. To them just having a penis is being a man and that is not right at all to be a man is too do the right thing for the community, for your family, for the church, and for the rest of the world. But if the system gets broken like it has then you get sinners raising sinners, raising zealots, and uneducated penis wielding morons running around creating more morons and fucking up the world even more.
This has to stop!
[Pound on the podium]
Be a man. Show what working hard will get you.
[Pound on the podium]
Be a man show what doing the right thing does for everyone concerned
[Pound on the podium]
Dads get your shit together and think about your legacy think about what you are giving to the world to run the world after you have stepped down.

Gen 49:3
Reuben, you are my firstborn, my might and the beginning of my strength, outstanding in dignity, outstanding in power.

[Yelling and pounding on the podium]
Is this what you want?
[Yelling and pounding on the podium]
This is the definition of a man?
[Yelling and pounding on the podium]
Is this the right thing?
I say no and I say know the right thing it is in your heart no matter what you have been taught by MTV and the internet and video games. That is why you clean your browser cache or all the porn stops you made.

(0.35) Isa 57:8
Behind the door and doorpost you put your symbols. Indeed, you depart from me and go up and invite them into bed with you. You purchase favors from them, you love their bed, and gaze longingly on their genitals

You know what is right because you look over your shoulder when you think about stealing that candy bar at the self check out. I know you; I can always tell when one of you is thinking wrong thoughts. I can smell the thief from a mile away. The stink of fear and guilt is powerful stuff. You would not have that smell if you did not know the right things. Listen to your heart if god is in your heart it will never ever lie to you.
Today was brought to you by The Knights of Acrimony they assist in the counseling of young men who have become fathers but did not realize they have responsibilities other than to say "of course I will still love you".
Some times these stubborn young men need some persuasion to step up to the plate. But once the Knights of Acrimony talk with them they usually realize the errors of there ways.

Eph 4:13
Until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God – a mature person, attaining to the measure of Christ’s full stature.

So stop and talk to them. If you have a daughter, get their e-mail.
In that vein of thinking I need to bring to light that he local homeless shelter is asking for assistance for extra blankets and jackets. Please do not give them anything. I have started a program here at The First Execration Church of Odium Anathema.
If you feel, you need to help those that chose to be blight and a resource hog on our society then bring your happy ass down to the church on Saturday night. On Saturday nights we are going to go out and pick up as many homeless people as we can fit into the commuter vans and drive them to the next city to be a burden on them and their resources.
You can see to it that our city prospers and the politician’s will have to refund many of the surplus dollars that did not get spent on homeless programs like the homeless shelter.
The raise a roof for the unwed mothers program is a success we have re-shingled five roofs in the last 4 months.
I would like to thank all of you who did not honk last Sunday. You all are the perfection of a church going member of society. And to those of you who still did not get the message and I was able to catch I am sure bruises and lacerations of your education will heel soon enough.
It won’t hurt for ever.

To the Church in Thyatira

2008-11-22T04:41:00.001-08:00

Letters to the church from the lord #4
To the Church in Thyatira
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2:18 “To the angel of the church in Thyatira write the following:

“This is the solemn pronouncement of the Son of God, the one who has eyes like a fiery flame and whose feet are like polished bronze:
Rev 2:19 ‘I know your deeds: your love, faith, service, and steadfast endurance. In fact, your more recent deeds are greater than your earlier ones.
Rev 2:20 But I have this against you: You tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, and by her teaching deceives my servants to commit sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols. Rev 2:21 I have given her time to repent, but she is not willing to repent of her sexual immorality. Rev 2:22 Look! I am throwing her onto a bed of violent illness, and those who commit adultery with her into terrible suffering, unless they repent of her deeds. Rev 2:23 Furthermore, I will strike her followers with a deadly disease, and then all the churches will know that I am the one who searches minds and hearts. I will repay each one of you what your deeds deserve. Rev 2:24 But to the rest of you in Thyatira, all who do not hold to this teaching (who have not learned the so-called “deep secrets of Satan”), to you I say: I do not put any additional burden on you. Rev 2:25 However, hold on to what you have until I come. Rev 2:26 And to the one who conquers and who continues in my deeds until the end, I will give him authority over the nations – Rev 2:27 he will rule them with an iron rod and like clay jars he will break them to pieces, Rev 2:28 just as I have received the right to rule from my Father – and I will give him the morning star. Rev 2:29 The one who has an ear had better hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’

Fiery flame for eyes and bronze feet. The lord is saying that he is the strong one and he sees all. He seeing into the hearts of all men and knows what evil lurks in the soul of everyone of god's children. That is why god created jesus and sent him. god was tired of looking into our hearts and minds and seeing the evil and sickness that is ourselves.
We are an evil, evil twisted race. we deserve every beating that god gives us. If you are looking at me right know and you are thinking "no that is not true! I do not have evil thoughts" Then you are lying to yourself and to god. But god knows the truth. he sees into your weak pitiful little pea fucking brain and knows that you think about ramming your car into that fucker that cut you off on the way to work.

Isa 47:10
You were complacent in your evil deeds; you thought, ‘No one sees me.’ Your self-professed wisdom and knowledge lead you astray, when you say, ‘I am unique! No one can compare to me!’

and you thought about what it would be like to bash the head in of that old lady that cut in your line at the grocery store and then pretended to be sorry and you let her stay because she was old and you hoped that when you are old like her that someone will be nice to you. But on the inside you thought about the crow bar you have in the trunk and you thought about "How blood can there be in the brain really?"

Job 40:12
Look at every proud man and abase him; crush the wicked on the spot!

Isa 53:10
Though the Lord desired to crush him and make him ill, once restitution is made, he will see descendants and enjoy long life, and the Lord’s purpose will be accomplished through him.

"I know the movies make it seem like a lot of blood, but really would there be a big mess or a little mess?" "would the skull just crush and the skin not break or would the head open up like a melon?" would the sound of the skull sound like a bundle sticks broken on the knee or would it sound more wet and splintery"
The church tolerated sexual immorality and the eating of food sacrificed to idols. We all want to live selfishly and we all want to just do what ever feels good and take care of our own pleasure needs. This evident in the way corporate America is run and the way the government controls the economy. But in the end is this the way god intended us to behave?

[Bang On the podium] NO!
And
[Bang On the podium] HELL NO!

Rom 13:13
Let us live decently as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in discord and jealousy.

Mat 15:19
For out of the heart come evil ideas, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.

Num 25:1
When Israel lived in Shittim, the people began to commit sexual immorality with the daughters of Moab.

He wanted us to behave with dignity and respect. He wanted us to go forth and prosper. He wanted us to care for our fellow man. But instead we fuck our neighbor. we screw our employees and we just down right commit terrible terrible twisted sins of unimaginable scale against the planet and then we think we can say we are sorry and the gates will open and god will say "eh he said he was sorry"

[Bang On the podium] NO!
And
[Bang On the podium] HELL NO!

Right! The lord is saying he sees when you are sorry and he can tell when you are lying. He is not going to tolerate this crap any fucking longer.

[Bang On the podium]

You "captains of industry" had better get you houses in order because the day of reckoning is coming and god is fucking pissed. He is pissed at how you all fuck the little guy and how you rape the market and run around like selfish little kids.
You all better get your fucking houses in order because the good lord is coming to pay you all back for your perverted sick pleasure sins that you all have perpetrated on the rest of us and he is going to dish it out like no other punishment on this god forsaken piece of fucking dirt has ever been mended out.

2Th 1:9
They will undergo the penalty of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his strength,

Rom 1:27
and likewise the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed in their passions for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.

You are all going to feel the wrath of god for the sins you have committed and you all are going to cry and say girly things like “I did not know, I did not mean it, it is not my fault,” and the best “everybody else was doing it too.”
But you know what?? Everyone else will be burn in hell too. And no this is not the hell mark twain comments about this is the fiery pits and the demons eating your soul over and over again.

Jer 50:15
Shout the battle cry from all around the city. She will throw up her hands in surrender. Her towers will fall. Her walls will be torn down. Because I, the Lord, am wreaking revenge, take out your vengeance on her! Do to her as she has done!

This is the same hell that criminals will be sent to and the same hell rapists will be sent to because you are no different in the eyes of god. You are just the same twisted tragic lost fucking soul as the murders and child predators.
[Loud]
Yes god in heaven will weep for the loss of your soul but the tears will not be enough to extinguish the flames that will roast and toast your pansy ass feet and blister your scalp. You fucktards!
[YELL]
You all fucken piss me off more that I can ever portray in this sermon.
[LOUDEST YELL]
Bring it bitch! I will thump you the word of god until the words "holy bible" are tattooed into your forehead.
You fuckers make me sick!
I would like everyone to stand and welcome the guests we have here today.
Today the cardinal and arch bishop of the Cheyenne catholic diocese stopped by as well as the minister from the second Baptist church of Buzzard Breath. Apparently some of the ministering I have been doing has been carried to other denominations and they came by to see how my style is compared to theirs.
They asked me to come by their churches in the next couple of weeks and after my sermon I will see if they still would like me to come by.
There is good news coming from the boy’s camp. It seems that the friendly competition between the girls and the boys have taken some what of a soap opera type turn. The boys are crying foul and saying that the girls are using steroids.
The girls insist they are not but after the tests comeback we will decide the punishment for the camp that is wrong.
And trust this old reverend, the punishment will make the one crying foul or the one cheating wishing they had been gathered up by the rapture the day before.
Please stop ion the foyer to partake of the cookies and coffee. Please stop and talk to our guests and make them feel welcome.
The choir is in need of a throaty raspy bass to complete the album, “The lord loves death metal too”. The last singer has developed a bad case of laryngitis and the album is about complete.
DO NOT HONK TODAY. I want to make sure that our first impression on our guests is a good one!

Go in peace and have a nice day!

Gog and Magog

2008-11-19T05:28:00.000-08:00

Gog and Magog
By Rev. John Sleestaxx

The lord looked down from the heavens and saw the Wal-Mart’s, the baseball parents, the evil corporate leaders and the two faced banking pirates, economic raiders, and insurance privateers. And he wept from the sorrow that was more than the heavens could bear.
And then god looked down upon the world he witness such great greed that he shed a tear for the captains of industry and the heads of corporations. He saw the leaders of banks and economies and an emotion of anger came upon him so strong that he became enraged.
So the sadness over flowed into the Great Reverend Sleestaxx and that much sadness burned his soul and made him mad with anger and rage.
The great reverend began to sermonize and preach about the anger and rage that lived in his soul.
But was not enough for the lord he was too angry, he was too hurt, he was just plain pissed off.
He witnessed great leaders of multitudes of Huumans rubbing themselves on everything they came across and the rubbing created such a strong lustful passion that the great leaders smelled the musty lust of one another and they too became enflamed and they too began to rub and grind on one another. And the children witnessed the sex and began mating with Huumans and animals and members of the same sex. The fornication enraged the lord and he struck down upon the fornicators and sinners with great malice and might. Like a column of fire from the sky the lord destroyed the cities and churches and places of sex worship. God became disgusted and disappointed with us. God gave up on us.
God turned his back on us and let us fall victim to Gog and Magog.
The ailing and crying and the blasphemous prayers is what woke the great lords Gog and Magog. These two vile lords were nothing more than glorified demons that did the dirty evil work that god and Jesus can not do.
They are thing one and thing two for the heavens.
Gog and Magog winked against the mortal sunlight. On the winds they smelled prospering mortals and the riches of many kings.
But it was the smell of decadence and evil debauchery that warmed their skin from the millions or years of sleep. They looked to the west and saw the gleaming multitudes of rich kings and wasted opportunities. They could see the on the horizon the resources squandered and they could taste the sweet candy of oppression.
Gog said to Magog “Well I guess the lord is tired of these mortals. Oh great lord what is it you wants us to do to the mortals?
And the lord spoke "these mortal Huumans have bored me to no end it is time to reformat and reinstall once again.
Yes I too can smell the wasted lives and the down trodden of the masses. Do you wish to devour them like so many millennia ago?
No lets us make them pay for their greed and corruption. I want you to eat their last remaining resources. Let us force noting upon them.
Let us make them see what their greed has wrought.
Yes oh great lord.
And so Gog and Magog set upon the human race with a thirst and hunger never witnessed by mortal man yet.
Gog went to the east and Magog went to the west. They devoured everything in sight but leaving the mortals untouched. Like a thief in the night Gog and Magog began to devour everything the Huumans created and everything the Huumans needed. They devoured the luxuries and the needs. They ate the porn and they drank the seas, fishes and all.
Gog and Magog swooped down for the hills and ravaged the remains of the human race like scavengers or wild dogs.
Gog and Magog crunched the bones of men and children alike. They feasted on the innards and entrails. Gog and Magog raped the women and then ate the unborn children they created. Gog and Magog feasted and destroyed much of the lands of the Huumans. They caused much fear across the face of the earth. And soon the remaining Huumans began to leave sacrifices and offerings at the gates of the cites in hopes that Gog and Magog would pass them by and spare them. Soon there became men that claimed that they could talk to Gog and Magog and they demanded the men and women to pay tribute to them so that they could administer the sacrifices and offerings in a way that would please the great gods Gog and Magog.
And so soon Gog and Magog became figures for the Huumans to respect worship and fear. Gog and Magog began to spare certain cities and Gog and Magog began to think they were gods. They began to believe the Huumans and their propaganda.
They began to demand that great temples and edifices be erected in their likenesses. They began to devour only the ones that would defy them. They began to describe themselves to each other as gods as immortals as beings of worship and power.
One day Gog decided that Magog was less a god than him and he demanded that Magog supplicant submit and prostrate himself to Gog.
Magog also felt at the same time that he was the more powerful of the two and thought Gog spoke heresy. And the two began to fight then the fight turned to war. Divisions between the Huumans began. One group in the east began to worship just Gog and villainies Magog.
And the same happened in the west with Magog.
So now the Huumans had new gods and Satans and a new reason to war. And Gog and Magog were too distracted to continue their mission from god to devourer the human race.
The new religions and wars gave new purpose to the Huumans and they stopped their decadent behavior and began to focus on quality of life and creating a word that pleased Gog in the east and Magog in the west.
God looked down because the quiet nature of the earth captured his attention. God looked down from the heavens and saw that the Huumans had forgotten him and worshipped Gog and Magog. He was angry, and when he realized that Gog and Magog thought they were gods he became enraged again.
Damn you Huumans and your detractor ways. Damn you Huumans and your sinning and your corrupting forked tongues. You have not only turned your back on me but you now worship the very things that I sent down upon you in the first place.
Then a voice rose up to the heavens; “do not forsake us lord for we are but children who are spoiled and mischievous.” We know you when you speak to us but when you are away we are distracted and disjointed. We let our genitals lead us and our hearts can not love when our genitals are engorged so.
Please take Gog and Magog away and spare us like you have in the past.
No
Yes oh lord, listen to your humble servant when I tell you that we do love you we are just stupid animals who forget from where we came.
Oh Great Reverend Sleestaxx I know you are truly talking for everyone but I tire of the Huumans and their fickle ways.
No lord gives us another chance.
Oh alright but this is the last chance.
The world owes you a great many thanks John Sleestaxx a great many thanks.
You all hear that? I want the sacrifices over here and the tributes over there and all statues in my honor to resemble me in my younger years.

2008-11-04T09:20:00.001-08:00

God knows what you are doing when you are alone and he knows he watched you vote too.

To the Church in Ephesus

2008-09-30T12:37:00.000-07:00

Letters to the church from the lord #1
To the Church in Ephesus
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

The lord becomes very upset with us in the future.
I never want to see us receive a letter like this,

To the Church in Ephesus

Rev 2:1 “To the angel of the church in Ephesus, write the following:

“This is the solemn pronouncement of the one who has a firm grasp on the seven stars in his right hand – the one who walks among the seven golden lampstands: Rev 2:2 ‘I know your works as well as your labor and steadfast endurance, and that you cannot tolerate evil. You have even put to the test those who refer to themselves as apostles (but are not), and have discovered that they are false.
Rev 2:3 I am also aware that you have persisted steadfastly, endured much for the sake of my name, and have not grown weary.
Rev 2:4 But I have this against you: You have departed from your first love!
Rev 2:5 Therefore, remember from what high state you have fallen and repent! Do the deeds you did at the first; if not, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place – that is, if you do not repent.
Rev 2:6 But you do have this going for you: You hate what the Nicolaitans practice – practices I also hate.
Rev 2:7 The one who has an ear had better hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers, I will permit him to eat from the tree of life that is in the paradise of God.’

The church of Ephesus has been a rock in the teaching of the lord but in their fervor they have forgotten the love of the lord. They have forgotten to be passionate and compassionate. They tested everyone that came to them, they became cynical and did not believe the miracles that god had bestowed upon them. They became martyrs; they suffered on purpose and used the lord’s name as a reason to suffer. They brought much suffering upon themselves in the name of the lord.
And then look to the heavens and said look oh lord what we endure for you and in your name.
They need to get into the game. They need to realize that the lord provide many convinces for his people for a reason. Look to the miracles around you and realize that the lord has been there for you through the hard times but does not expect you to suffer needlessly.
Yes pay your penance. Pay what you are due to pay but do not pay more.

Rev 3:3
Therefore, remember what you received and heard, and obey it, and repent. If you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will never know at what hour I will come against you.

Act 8:22
Therefore repent of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the Lord that he may perhaps forgive you for the intent of your heart.

But do not wander this world going oh poor me I have this huge cross to bare because I am a Christian. Oh poor me I may never achieve financial freedom because I have to contribute to the church. I am Christian and god’s children must always suffer.
Hell No! Get thee into the game! Get into the fucking mud and dirt and get into the game. Play the game as the game was meant to be played. And on Sunday repent for your mistakes during the game

Act 3:19
Therefore repent and turn back so that your sins may be wiped out

But do not sit on the side and cry "poor me, oh lo lord look at the terrible suffering I do in your name" he knows suffering and you have not suffered he knows pain and he knows blood shed but you do not know shit!
So stop trying to pretend to know and get into the fucking game.
Think about it! If you succeed then you can contribute that much more to the church and the church then prospers and the good word of the lord becomes louder and mightier. People will look at you and not say oh look at the Christian suffering NO! They will say look at the lord's child prospering because of the lord, Look at the children of god making a difference.
Stop your weeping. Stop crying foul! And get your ass into the mix. Find your hole and exploit it! If some piece of shit fucking in your office steps on your hand then gouge his fucking eye. If he steps on your tow while punching you then lift his nut sack with your other foot.

Lev 21:20
or a hunchback, or a dwarf, or one with a spot in his eye, or a festering eruption, or a feverish rash, or a crushed testicle.

But do not come on Thursday and take the beating from me and then cry oh I get beat all day long at work by the heathens and the sinful masses and then I come here and I have to pay for my sins but I do this because that is what the lord wants.
No the lord wants you to step up. I want you to step up. My game does not improve unless yours does.

Deu 9:4 Do not think to yourself after the Lord your God has driven them out before you, “Because of my own righteousness the Lord has brought me here to possess this land.” It is because of the wickedness of these nations that the Lord is driving them out ahead of you. 9:5 It is not because of your righteousness, or even your inner uprightness, that you have come here to possess their land. Instead, because of the wickedness of these nations the Lord your God is driving them out ahead of you in order to confirm the promise he made on oath to your ancestors, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. 9:6 Understand, therefore, that it is not because of your righteousness that the Lord your God is about to give you this good land as a possession, for you are a stubborn people!
I want you all to start the next week with a promise to succeed. I want to hear that you are up for a promotion and that you stepped up to your boss and asked "What do I need to do to get to the next level?" and then you can repent any acts that you have committed to get there. The ends justify the means. If you commit a sin to get to the next level then you can always come to me and I will hear your sins and I will give you penance to pay and you can repent and start the next week fresh and ready to kick that office bully's ass.

Eph 6:13
For this reason, take up the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand your ground on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand.

Do not play the part of the victim, do not play the part of the martyr, and do not fucking come to me and ask why do I have to suffer?
Fuck yeah that the lord did the suffering for you. The lord took three shots for you. The lord was beaten down and spit on for you. Now get your asses up and kick some ass.
The only people that will survive in the future are those that get up and take what is theirs. If it belongs to you then no one will fault you for taking what is yours. If some one wants to take what is yours then kick the godless ass and tell them the lord told you to smite them. Nothing scares the sinners more than a Christian who kicks ass in the name of god. Trust me on this. I get e-mails all fucking day from those that think I am too over the top and I get some from the whiners that say I am suppose to suffer and not be the strong reverend. And that these sermons are blasphemous.
I laugh and ask them what was the last thing the lord did for you? They can not answer. I tell them the lord gave me the power to kick ass and every ass I kicked the lord thanked me for by letting me kick another.
Get off the side of the track. Look at the rule book and figure where the rule is exploited and exploit it. That is the way it is done now. That is how anybody is going to make it.
If it is yours take it, if it does not belong to anybody take it. If you take it and it does not belong to you then ask for forgiveness.

I have given up on the rocks and I now have a baseball bat. After today we will all know who the sinners are in the parking lot.

Eph 6:23 Peace to the brothers and sisters, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 6:24 Grace be with all of those who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love.

The food bank is looking for donations to assist in the thanksgiving holiday food baskets that will be handed out to the legal residents that are in need of assistance. So please either donate time or donate food. If you think that you maybe in need of assistance then ask and volunteer some time to help.
The daycare and Sunday school center is looking for assistance. If you have patience and time on Sunday please consider helping out. The boxing gloves fro the toddlers are the cutest things you should see them. We have pink for the girls and blue for the boys.
That reminds me. Boys if you all lose again this week I will get you all pinkly gloves and take away the reds ones until you can hold your own. I think the boys are fighting with their hearts and not their heads. I know that the girl’s champion is HOT! But you think that she wants to date a guy that she beat up??
Hell no! Step up! Show her that you are a man that can take what is his and she will be putty in your hands. I promise, so you can provide and she will show you she can care for your household. Because that is what it is all about!

I tell you all to keep your pimp hand strong for a reason.

Letters to the church from the lord #4 To the Church in Thyatira By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2008-08-05T04:31:00.000-07:00

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Letters to the church from the lord #3 To the Church in Pergamum By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2008-07-21T13:59:00.000-07:00

Letters to the church from the lord #3
To the Church in Pergamum
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Rev 2:12 “To the angel of the church in Pergamum write the following:

“This is the solemn pronouncement of the one who has the sharp double-edged sword:
Rev 2:13 ‘I know where you live – where Satan’s throne is. Yet you continue to cling to my name and you have not denied your faith in me, even in the days of Antipas, my faithful witness, who was killed in your city where Satan lives. Rev 2:14 But I have a few things against you: You have some people there who follow the teaching of Balaam, who instructed Balak to put a stumbling block before the people of Israel so they would eat food sacrificed to idols and commit sexual immorality. Rev 2:15 In the same way, there are also some among you who follow the teaching of the Nicolaitans. Rev 2:16 Therefore, repent! If not, I will come against you quickly and make war against those people with the sword of my mouth. Rev 2:17 The one who has an ear had better hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who conquers, I will give him some of the hidden manna, and I will give him a white stone, and on that stone will be written a new name that no one can understand except the one who receives it.’

My friends I will speak to you today of the third letter to the seven churches from the book of revelation.
The evil in Los Angeles is great. The people of that city are evil, greedy and all sinners.
If the lord was to lay waste to a city, “should not one good man not be found”, it would be Los Angeles that got wasted by columns of fire.

Gen 18:26
So the Lord replied, “If I find in the city of Sodom fifty godly people, I will spare the whole place for their sake.”

I have been to this city of three occasions and every single visit ended in tragedy and bloodshed. Current statute laws prevent me the telling of those tales but needless to say I know the city of angels is not the city of angels but the den of demons and evil shit that floats on the surface of the sea of life.

Deu 15:9
Be careful lest you entertain the wicked thought that the seventh year, the year of cancellation of debts, has almost arrived, and your attitude be wrong toward your impoverished fellow Israelite and you do not lend him anything; he will cry out to the Lord against you and you will be regarded as having sinned.

The city is rife with gangs of producers raping beautiful ideas of creative people. These people will listen to the beautiful creative minds of intelligent people and then steal the ideas and pervert them into so much celluloid trash. Twisting simple beautiful stories into action filled porno fests.
These gangs of queer confused fuck wads with money will sit in their own shit in a coffee bar until they over hear a story or idea that they then steal for their own increase in wealth and power.
Every time one of these fuckers dies I thank god for taking out the garbage. I put clothes pins on my nipples and dance in the backyard non-stop for twelve hours in tribute to the wondrous glory that is our lord god.

Deu 22:21
the men of her city must bring the young woman to the door of her father’s house and stone her to death, for she has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by behaving like a prostitute while living in her father’s house. In this way you will purge evil from among you.

There are bands of ninjas that pretend to be actors. These players in the sick dirty dramas are assassinating the depth of wondrous characters. Characters that were dreamed up by loving beautiful minds and that were created for the story. But these buck teethed, lack of talent, pieces of shit, and can not even begin to portray the depth of the neither characters nor can they make you believe in the characters any more.
There are whores that say they are the path to fame, but only drain the wealth of everyone around them. They say they can help you with your career but they are nothing but a drain on the wealth and resources of your livelihood. These bastards are nothing more than leeches and parasites.

Lev 26:16
I for my part will do this to you: I will inflict horror on you, consumption and fever, which diminish eyesight and drain away the vitality of life. You will sow your seed in vain because your enemies will eat it.

Lo the city is filled with the temple of the networks. Broadcasting companies are there and they are there for a reason for they would be found out to be a den of evil lizards and poisonous snakes. They have talking heads that spew half truths to confuse god's children and they portray the tragedies of the day’s events as entertainment to be sold as a commodity. The broadcast stations force into your television pseudo fake entertainment that is suppose to take your mind off of god and the lords word. You are to watch the shows and the commercials mindlessly. you are to ignore your family and children so that they too become distracted. Then your mind becomes empty and so does the minds your children. Then these criers of lies and falsehoods fill your minds with in correct beliefs about how your life and world should be.

Neh 13:7
and I returned to Jerusalem. Then I discovered the evil that Eliashib had done for Tobiah by supplying him with a storeroom in the courts of the temple of God.

This metropolis is filled from city wall to city wall of studios, studios where the false stores and lies and stolen ideas are made into "entertainment", photographic representations of tragic dramas and situational humor skits that do not apply, or even relate to real life. But these mega lies are perpetrated none-the-less. They mass produce this perverted, sick pleasure stories for the masses. And the uneducated and naive pack the movie houses in droves to be treated to commercial lies and product endorsements.
The entire industry is about selling you shit and garbage and telling you how you are not liked and not accepted unless you smell like a fucking sock and boot that was left in a sewer for three life times.
That your women will not be attracted to you, unless your hair looks as though you have been buried in a coffin with three dead dogs for a month. But the fools still poor money into the machine and the machine keeps fucking them in the ass. What a bunch of pain queers.

Deu 22:24
you must bring the two of them to the gate of that city and stone them to death, the young woman because she did not cry out though in the city and the man because he violated his neighbor’s fiancée; in this way you will purge evil from among you.

The loss of humanity and the demons of the paparazzi and the entertainment news heads. just want to tear into the private lives of people and cut open some of the most private moments and expose them for the world to see. I am inundated with pictures of too skinny people and too fat people and failed relationship after failed relationship. About how some sinner is addicted to this drug and that drug and how that woman who was the hero of everyone two months ago is now stuck in a bottle with a drinking problem. But the unwashed and the stupid still pour money into the machine that fucks us all and is called the city of angels, City Of Angels in deed!

[Showing My Middle Finger] Fuck you Hollywood!
[Showing My Middle Finger] Fuck you television
[Showing My Middle Finger] Fuck you Brad fucking Pitt
[Showing My Middle Finger] Fuck you agents that lost my book.
[Showing My Middle Finger] Fuck you producers that are stealing my ideas
[Showing My Middle Finger] Fuck you stupid morons and thieves of the city of angels

May god lay waste to your entire town and a slow burning death to the fuckers on Rodeo drive to boot.
May frogs with poisonous skin rain from the sky onto the heads of your children and the wind bring flying maggots into your eyes.
I want to hear your wombs bare dead cats and that your plastic breasts are causing aliens, space aliens, to land and eat you all.

[Showing My Middle Finger] Fuck you Southern California!

There are cookies and cakes along with gourmet coffee in the foyer for everyone. The Knights of Acrimony have donated the time to lay a continental breakfast out for everyone. They would also like to say that they are welcoming anyone over the age of 55 into their organization.
These fine gentlemen of the church are the ones that organized the "Drive the homeless to another town" campaign. The also assist in the counseling of young men who have become fathers but did not realize they have responsibilities other than to say "of course I still love you".
Some times these stubborn young men need some persuasion to step up to the plate. But once the Knights of Acrimony talk with them they usually realize the errors of there ways.
So stop and talk to them. If you have a daughter, get their e-mail. If you are 55 or older then get to know them maybe you will want to join. If you are a young man pressuring a young woman to have sex, think twice because these men do not use gloves like I do on Thursday.
The raise a roof for the unwed mothers program is a success we have re-shingled three roofs in the last 4 months.
I would like to thank all of you who did not honk last Sunday. you all are the perfection of a church going member of society. And to those of you who still did not get the message and I was able to catch I am sure bruises and lacerations of your education will heel soon enough.
It won’t hurt for ever.

Thank you and go in peace!

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Letters to the church from the lord #2 To the Church in Smyrna By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2008-07-03T06:37:00.000-07:00

Letters to the church from the lord #2
To the Church inSmyrna
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

THE STAG IN THE OX-STALL
By Aesop

A Stag, chased from his lair by the hounds, took refuge in a farmyard, and, entering a stable where a number of oxen were stalled, thrust himself under a pile of hay in a vacant stall, where he lay concealed, all but the tips of his horns. Presently one of the Oxen said to him, "What has induced you to come in here? Aren't you aware of the risk you are running of being captured by the herdsmen?" To which he replied, "Pray let me stay for the present. When night comes I shall easily escape under cover of the dark." In the course of the afternoon more than one of the farm-hands came in, to attend to the wants of the cattle, but not one of them noticed the presence of the Stag, who accordingly began to congratulate himself on his escape and to express his gratitude to the Oxen. "We wish you well," said the one who had spoken before, "but you are not out of danger yet. If the master comes, you will certainly be found out, for nothing ever escapes his keen eyes." Presently, sure enough, in he came, and made a great to-do about the way the Oxen were kept. "The beasts are starving," he cried; "here, give them more hay, and put plenty of litter under them." As he spoke, he seized an armful himself from the pile where the Stag lay concealed, and at once detected him. Calling his men, he had him seized at once and killed for the table.

Nothing escapes the lord's eye, He knows who is living his word and who is posturing and pretending. The lord hates pretenders and fakes.

2Ch 13:9
But you banished the Lord’s priests, Aaron’s descendants, and the Levites, and appointed your own priests just as the surrounding nations do! Anyone who comes to consecrate himself with a young bull or seven rams becomes a priest of these fake gods!

Why do you think I win EVERY baptismal and EVERY evangelical interaction? Why does the lord put me in these places to begin with? Do you think that he is trying to get my ass whooped so that he can watch??
No! That is not the case.

To the Church in Smyrna

Rev 2:8 “To the angel of the church in Smyrna write the following:
“This is the solemn pronouncement of the one who is the first and the last, the one who was dead, but came to life:
Rev 2:9 ‘I know the distress you are suffering and your poverty (but you are rich). I also know the slander against you by those who call themselves Jews and really are not, but are a synagogue of Satan.
Rev 2:10 Do not be afraid of the things you are about to suffer. The devil is about to have some of you thrown into prison so you may be tested, and you will experience suffering for ten days. Remain faithful even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown that is life itself.

Rev 2:11 The one who has an ear had better hear what the Spirit says to the churches. The one who conquers will in no way be harmed by the second death.’

The lord knows who is suffering and who is pretending to suffer. The good lord wants every one of you all to know that even though you suffer under his eye for the beliefs of Christianity he also knows that the ones persecuting you all are fakes and losers under the control of Satan.

2Th 2:9
The arrival of the lawless one will be by Satan’s working with all kinds of miracles and signs and false wonders,

Rev 2:13
‘I know where you live – where Satan’s throne is. Yet you continue to cling to my name and you have not denied your faith in me, even in the days of Antipas, my faithful witness, who was killed in your city where Satan lives

Some of god's children will be jailed for no other reason, other than they are the children of god. And in jail the scum will rape and torture them but the lord says the reward for enduring and keeping the faith will be the crown of everlasting life.
I was in the park not to long ago. And while I was sitting on the bench these hooligans, these pseudo-wanna-be-punk-rockers began to make god jokes because I was reading the book of revelations. I was preparing for an up coming speaking engagement.
Oh he and his friends thought they were sooooo funnnnnyy. One said "do you see the light yet raven?" “Hey father can you hear my confessions?” one girl asked me as she leaned into me.
I turned to her and said that the lord will hear even the ugliest of sinners but even then they have to be sincere.
She then slapped me and began yelling that I had called her ugly and her two boyfriends started to drop their jackets and start to yell about how they were going to kick my holy ass for that.
I held up my hand said that I was sorry I did not mean to say she was ugly I meant no matter how bad the sin was I would listen. I told the boys I did not want to fight and that hey had misunderstood.
Everyone calmed down and the boys picked up their jackets. The jokes stopped and they took the bench on the other side of the walk way.
I closed the book of revelations and stepped to the kids and quoted Revelations 16:2.

Rev 16:2
So the first angel went and poured out his bowl on the earth. Then ugly and painful sores appeared on the people who had the mark of the beast and who worshiped his image.

I then said, "So you all have tattoos don't you?"
They looked perplexed and stupid. It seems kids today all look that way just before they find their way to god.
"What I am saying is that I have given it a great deal of thought and I believe that you three look really stupid and you all need to be ..."
I punched the closest boy in the throat
"........taught a lesson in respect."
The other two jumped up.
The second boy stepped back and tripped over the girl’s feet as she backpedaled too.
They both fell down.
I reached for the one boy gasping for breath. I grabbed him by the shirt and shook him
Sir do you see the light yet??
He looked at me puzzled

Psa 139:12
even the darkness is not too dark for you to see, and the night is as bright as day; darkness and light are the same to you.

Isa 9:2
(9:1) The people walking in darkness see a bright light; light shines on those who live in a land of deep darkness.

2Co 4:4
among whom the god of this age has blinded the minds of those who do not believe so they would not see the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God.

"Listen you dumb pussy fuck! I said DO YOU SEE THE LIGHT?
He shook his head and his friend got to his feet and came at me.
I stood and just punched straight at his eye. He did not even try to dodge the punch and he fell back.
Your friend is going to see the light before you and soon, but you are the one I worry about the most. You are the one the lord has told me to help and I shook him again.
The girl charged at me screaming like a banshee and I pulled the boy down by the shirt and swung back hand across the little punker bitches face sending her spinning away.
Look I said to the one I had by the shirt, You had better realize the jeopardy your soul is in soon or your friends will be mad at you because I will keep beating them back until you see the light.

Psa 44:5
By your power we will drive back our enemies; by your strength we will trample down our foes!

Joe 2:20
I will remove the one from the north far from you. I will drive him out to a dry and desolate place. Those in front will be driven eastward into the Dead Sea, and those in back westward into the Mediterranean Sea. His stench will rise up as a foul smell.” Indeed, the Lord has accomplished great things.

He still looked at me like I was speaking in tongues.
I pushed him to the ground and let go of his shirt and picked the first boy up by the shirt collar and began to knee him in the face, and then again in the face with my knee.
The girl was in tears but she came at me again with her hands out like claws. I lifted my foot and kicked out straight into her chest and she fell back in a silent heap.
The one I was kneeing in the face looked up and said oh god no stop what are you doing why are you beating on me?
“Because the lord said to” and I began to punch him in the face over and over.
He weakly he held up his hands and I stopped for a second.
“Oh god it is so beautiful. Sarah you have got to see it!”
I let go and stepped over to the other boy who was still holding his Adam’s apple. He looked at me all wide eyed and began to hold up his hands he mouthed the word stop.
Do you see the lord or not?
He nodded his head and then looked at his friend and then looked at me.
He said "Yes" and then he spoke, "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was without shape and empty, and darkness was over the surface of the watery deep, but the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the water. God said, “Let there be light.” And there was light! God saw that the light was good, so God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day” and the darkness “night.” There was evening, and there was morning, marking the first day."
That is not bad but can you tell me mark 16.
He swallowed and then as if god himself was in the boy, "When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought aromatic spices so that they might go and anoint him. And very early on the first day of the week, at sunrise, they went to the tomb. They had been asking each other, “Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance to the tomb?” But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled back. Then as they went into the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed. But he said to them, “Do not be alarmed. You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has been raised! He is not here. Look, there is the place where they laid
him. But go, tell his disciples, even Peter, that he is going ahead of you into Galilee. You will see him there, just as he told you.” Then they went out and ran from the tomb, for terror and bewilderment had seized them. And they said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid."

Very nice but tell me John 12
And the girl stood looked to the sky and announced, "Then, six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom he had raised from the dead. So they prepared a dinner for Jesus there. Martha was serving, and Lazarus was among those present at the table with him. Then Mary took three quarters of a pound of expensive aromatic oil from pure nard and anointed the feet of Jesus. She then wiped his feet dry with her hair. But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples said, “Why wasn’t this oil sold for three hundred silver coins and the money given to the poor?” So Jesus said, “Leave her alone. She has kept it for the day of my burial. For you will always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me!”"
I left them there stuttering and stammering passages from the bible.
You sometimes need to suffer to reach the way of the lord.
Sometimes you need to see the suffering of those around you to see the way to the lord.
In that vein of thinking I need to bring to light that he local homeless shelter is asking for assistance for extra blankets and jackets. Please do not give them anything. I have started a program here at The First Execration Church of Odium Anathema.
If you feel, you need to help those that chose to be a blight and a resource hog on our society then bring your happy ass down to the church on Saturday night. On Saturday nights we are going to go out and pick up as many homeless people as we can fit into the commuter vans and drive them to the next city to be a burden on them and their resources.
You can see to it that our city prospers and the politician’s will have to refund many of the surplus dollars that did not get spent on homeless programs like the homeless shelter.
The two books I have been working on are for sale and I am waiting to hear about the record purchases.

Go in peace and stop fucking honking at each other you are all killing me.

Currently Reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Letters to the church from the lord #1 Ephesus By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2008-06-18T09:10:00.000-07:00

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Seven Deadly Sins: Sloth By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2008-06-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

Seven Deadly Sins: Sloth
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Mar 7:22
adultery, greed, evil, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, pride, and folly.

Today I am going to tell a story and talk about Sloth.

Sloth, once called the sin of sadness. The refusal to enjoy the goodness of the lord god and the world he created. Early Christian writers would describe sloth as melancholy or apathy. But still the refusal to participate in life and the great gift that is the world around us is the true sin here.

Pro 6:9
How long, you sluggard, will you lie there? When will you rise from your sleep?

Pro 6:10
A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to relax,

Pro 6:11
and your poverty will come like a robber, and your need like an armed man.

Dante mad this middle sin as it describes the failure to love god with all of ones mind or heart. Dante tells of purgatory for these lazy sullen depressed bastards as being made to run at top speed for ever and ever until their penance was paid and god felt the sin was atoned.
The modern version of the vice is still just apathy, just the supreme desire to not make a change. To not participate, to do nothing and accept that that is the status quoi is a travesty.
Because of the unwillingness to act or care makes this sin a less serious sin.
THAT IS BULLSHIT!
It is a deadly sin for a reason. If you do not care to make a change then the ones making a change are going to make the change for themselves. And the ones making a change may not be thinking of god and what is in the best interest of the lord.

1Cor 3:8
The one who plants and the one who waters work as one, but each will receive his reward according to his work.

Sinners are numerous and sinners are driven.
If you let sinners make the decisions you are ripe for a rape and a push down a road you do not want to travel.
I have spoken twice about this apathy, this "I want to sit hear and cry instead of get in the game" attitude that pisses me off. And I still see the same number of slothful people everyday. I have helped two people move to a better place because they took charge of their game and made the game work for them.
They stopped sitting on the side saying that is not fair. No they got up and look at the rules and said ok that is the rule today that will work for me this way and they applied the rules. And they made a change and they now are reaping the benefits of a better life. They stopped being slothful. Will you all stop being slothful??

Pro 10:4
The one who is lazy becomes poor, but the one who works diligently becomes wealthy.

hey I know it is hard to make a change, I know that change means that there is a unknown ahead but you know what embrace the unknown and work the new unknowns to your favor.
The modern version of the vice is still just apathy, just the supreme desire to not make a change. To not participate, to do nothing and accept that that is the status quoe is a travesty.
I had asked a new member to have his clergy come talk to me because his clergy failed to teach him god's anger and god's desire for us to make positive changes around us. His clergy let him commit one of the most grievous sins and told him that it was ok to prey, and feed, and oppress others. His clergy failed to talk to him about the deadly sins and the desire to god has for us to accept change.

1Tim
5:8 But if someone does not provide for his own, especially his own family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Pro 18:9
The one who is slack in his work is a brother to one who destroys.

His clergy stopped by, and we talked and he asked me about the bruises that his member had received here during on of my lectures.
That was not a lecture father that was a baptism.
But he had already been baptized.
Obviously this did not take. He was sinning and he thought he was not committing and crime against god.
Well he is either going to heaven or his is not weather he sins does not matter.
WHAT! Are you serious?
Yes
No you are wrong and that is what we are here for to help shepherd this poor lost soul to he green pastures that are the lords word and way. There are no gimmes!
Oh no we are here until the lord calls us home. Our time is just a formality.

Ecc 10:18
Because of laziness the roof caves in, and because of idle hands the house leaks.

You sir have been listening to Belphegor. The devils demon of sloth. Satan harbinger of evil deadly sins
You sir are with any desire to change or enjoy the wondrous works of god, and I slapped him.
He looked shocked. He looked hurt. Above all he looked pissed. Oh good he may have a chance left after all. Then I saw a wave of something wash over him and he just sat back. Come on man I said as I stood. Get up and make a change! And I slapped him again.

Pro 12:24
The diligent person will rule, but the slothful will become a slave.

He flinched and sat there. He had tears well up in his eyes and said "stop hitting me" in a shaky voice.
I laughed, "I did not hit you. I slapped you like a bitch, Now do something about it!”
No you need to stop hitting me!
I slapped him again and laughed at him.
He sat there and then he began to shake and I saw the tears begin to get bigger. and then he exploded into heavy sobs.
"Why do they always beat me up oh lord?" "Why do the bullies always get to beat me up and you do nothing to stop it"
I bent down into his face, "does he answer you?"
He choked back some sobs and shook his head.
I am not a bully. I am here to talk to you about your failure to preach to today's people. And then I find you are committing a grievous sin.
But why does the lord let you beat me up?
The lord does not let me beat you up you let me beat you up. You let the bullies win. you let your church down everyday you get up and not make a change. You are a pussy and I am going to beat you up some more
No. please do not, I can not take it.
No you will take it or you will make me stop.
No I will run away.

Tit 1:12
A certain one of them, in fact, one of their own prophets, said, “Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons.”

Ha! You? You fat, out of shape, whinny little shit? You could not get away.
You will either fight me or you will get beaten up.
I will get beaten either way.
No you will have made a change and you will have stood up for your self.
And I grabbed the collar of his shirt and dragged him to the rectory and then to the ring and I pushed his fat ass through the ropes like some kinky play dough boxing press.
He started to get to his feet, "Do we not get any gloves?"
No not today,
And I swung and he took one in the gut, he doubled over.
Do you not see the point? Can you not make the connection?
and just as I was about to give up on this man of the cloth he whips up to stand and brings his left hand across my cheek. "yeah" he said "i get it" and he popped me in the mouth.
My head snapped and he stepped into it me as my head snapped back.
He got two more good jabs in before I was able to realize that he was a boxer from long ago.
We traded punches and jabs for an hour.
Finally he said stop.
I stopped and he said that the good lord just whispered in his ear that I was right. and that he was lazy in his sheepherding and teaching. That he needed to step his game up and tell his flock to step up for them selves.
Man I panted an hour of this before he spoke to you he must have been pretty angry at you to let you get the beating you got.
No he said with his hands on his knees he told me all that back when you pushed me into the ring. I stayed quiet because I wanted to make you pay for calling me a bitch.

Mat 25:26
But his master answered, ‘Evil and lazy slave! So you knew that I harvest where I didn’t sow and gather where I didn’t scatter?

We cleaned up. The clergy spoke about how he was going to start affecting a change in his house and how he was going to start a movement. He was working on a homily about how one needs to step up their game to stay in the game.
He was going to start getting the teen ministries to work on the younger generation and
Get a head start on them. He said he regretted the apathetic and piss poor way he ran his church for the past 10 to 15 years.
He was worried about the number of members that were not prepared for the change because of his teachings.
I told it did not matter they would get in the game once they realized the need to get in there.
I also talked to him about the leaders that go to his church and how he needs to counsel them in their preying on the weakest of the community.
We are on the cusp of some great changes people, our first cross denominational beating, the change being affected across classes and into the business world, some wondrous and wooly times indeed.
The Sunday school is starting a 8 week course after services for the younger members. The main focus is teaching the younger members to stand up against bullies and to speak out for them selves. Parents are encouraged to assist in their assertiveness training and to foster a relationship of listen as opposed to just dictating.
Cookies and coffee are in the foyer. The Singles in Christ’s light are having a mixer this Friday.
If you are single you should get out to this and meet other like minded individuals. Maybe you can find a sparing partner. Who knows maybe a love tap that brings the image of god to your eyes is all that is needed to finish that life of bachelorhood.

Go in peace and try not to kill each other in the parking lot.

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Seven Deadly Sins: Greed By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2008-05-19T12:00:00.000-07:00

Seven Deadly Sins: Greed
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Mar 7:22
adultery, greed, evil, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, pride, and folly.

Today I am going to tell a story and talk about greed.
We are under attack you and I. The rich want to get richer and they do not care about who they eat on the way. If are not rich you are in trouble.

Luk 12:15
Then he said to them, “Watch out and guard yourself from all types of greed, because one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

2Pe 2:14
Their eyes, full of adultery, never stop sinning; they entice unstable people. They have trained their hearts for greed, these cursed children!

They can not buy their way into the real estate purchase of an after-lifetime. the priceless lot you secure today will only appreciate even more. The cost was nothing but your promise to live your life for the lord. And listen to his teachings.

Jud 1:11
Woe to them! For they have traveled down Cain’s path, and because of greed have abandoned themselves to Balaam’s error; hence, they will certainly perish in Korah’s rebellion.

Last Thursday I was privileged to baptize a members supervisor. This dumb piece of shit was paying his employees just enough that the employees could barely eek out an existence but just enough that the employees did not want to loose their vested time by looking else where.
I sat this boss down and we talked about it and all it came down to was that he saw that if skimmed on 1 dollar an hour raise across the board he could see a profit of 1000 dollars an hour. That made a profit of over 3 quarters of a million dollars. The boss then
Would boats that he save the company over 800 thousand dollars.
In turn for this neat trick he receives a 2 dollar raise.
His lust for money has now become a sin for he has sacrificed the welfare of his fellow man. He has prostituted himself for some money and screwed and fed on his employees.

Gen 3:16
To the woman he said, “I will greatly increase your labor pains; with pain you will give birth to children. You will want to control your husband, but he will dominate you.”

We talked a bit. We debated a bit. We argued a bit. And then I pointed to him that the cost of living ate away at the employee’s income to the point that they could not longer tithe. That with out tithe the church could not perform any of the community functions and assistance programs.
He said he did not care about that and that was a church problem not a business problem.

Lev 26:21
“‘If you walk in hostility against me and are not willing to obey me, I will increase your affliction seven times according to your sins.

So I smacked him. Hard. In the face. Like a pimp would smack a whore that talked back. He cried "why did you do that?"
"Because” I bellowed "sir you have offended me and my god." and I stood,

Exo 32:31
So Moses returned to the Lord and said, “Alas, this people has committed a very serious
sin, and they have made for themselves gods of gold.

I grabbed him by the hair and dragged his fat pompous, pampered, spoiled ass to the ring and I tossed him to the ropes.
Wha.. what are you doing? Fear welling up in his eyes so fast his eyes looked like Speed Racers eyes, all anime and big.
I am going to show you to god and I am going to let god judge you and teach you a lesson.
Ba ba but I already go to a church.
When we are done you will have your pastor.... Father... very well your father come down and I will talk to him about his teachings he is giving you for you are a sinful man with not desire to repent and concern for your fellow man.

1Co 6:8
But you yourselves wrong and cheat, and you do this to your brothers and sisters!

I tossed him the 12 ounce gloves and said “you look like a fit man you work out right?”
“Yeah”
“Ok then I will give you an edge. You get the 12 ounce gloves and I will use the 5 ounce
gloves.”
“No I think..”
“No I think that if you do not get in the ring you will go to hell today. I am trying to save your soul you dumb shit! Now get the god damn gloves on and get into the ring.”
“But....”
“No you do not see. I will start saving your soul right here right now with my bare hands.”
He took the gloves and climbed into the ring.
He put the gloves on while I grabbed my gloves and turned on some heavy metal music.
I climbed into the ring and while I was putting the gloves on I looked down that the laces and he came up and landed one seriously square upper cut.
I went sprawling back into the ropes.
He charged and lifted his right to drill a punch into my face.
I came up with my foot and kicked him right in the crotch. [Laugh Out Loud]
You should have felt the air move when he sucked his breath in. Man alive, it was like I was in the center of a tornado.
He doubled over and he fell down to the mat.
I finished putting my gloves on.
I grabbed his head with both hands and lifted him to his feet. He looked like a new man.
He looked innocent and bewildered. It was obvious that this fuckwad had never felt pain, real pain in his life.

Jer 25:15
So the Lord, the God of Israel, spoke to me in a vision. “Take this cup from my hand. It is filled with the wine of my wrath. Take it and make the nations to whom I send you drink it.

I asked him if he could breath
He nodded
I reached back for the haymaker and I let it connect to the left side of his face.
He spun and fell face down.
He laid there with his feet pointed back. But he moved. I waited for him to roll over.
I helped him to his feet and I walloped him again.
He dropped to his knees and looked up. He was not seeing me. He was seeing the good lord at that moment.
He stared up at the sky light for 3 minutes and then he nodded twice

Gen 16:13
So Hagar named the Lord who spoke to her, “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “Here I have seen one who sees me!”

He babbled something in a whisper to someone that could not be seen and I began to tear up. For I know who he spoke to.
The warmth that flowed over me was joyous and wonderful. Everyone that was in the room at that moment felt the presence of the holy ghost.
He looked down at the mat and began weeping. "It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my entire life." Spraying blood on the mat from B's F's and S's.

Hos 12:4
He struggled with an angel and prevailed; he wept and begged for his favor. He found God at Bethel, and there he spoke with him!

He looked at me and said. "I have been shown the light and I will make amends this very day."
Good, now you must also do a couple of things. The good lord wants you to get your boss down here for some education and I want you to tell your father/priest to come see me I want to educate your clergy.
I will be talking to this cleric in the next couple of weeks in an attempt to get our denominations to become more cohesive and consistent on our teachings.
Remember that every Friday night the boys and the girls compete in the ring. Any concession and door money generated goes to assisting their ministry and building them a much larger center.
The teen minister and I have been talking about have live bands for their entertainment and maybe hosting a dance on Saturdays so that all that youthful energy can be spent someplace that can assist them in learning the right decisions.
The Knights of Acrimony are offering a special invitation to all to witness at their ceremony this Tuesday. They are inducting 3 new members into their order and this will be the only time anyone can be a part with out being a member. The ceremony is truly a blessed ceremony and always a wonderful moment when a new knight is inducted.
In the foyer the SMMR single mothers making reparations have put together a continental breakfast for everyone in appreciation and also a way to thank all the men that helped them out over the past couple months.
I give up on you all and the parking lot. I do not know what to do about all of you and your freaking attitudes. Today I want everyone to look to the person next to you on both sides and say I am sorry for the rudeness I am about to impart on you in the parking lot.

Amen

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Seven Deadly Sins: Wrath By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2008-05-12T13:52:00.001-07:00

Seven Deadly Sins: Wrath
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Mar 7:22 adultery, greed, evil, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, pride, and folly.

Today I am going to tell a story and talk about Wrath.

I know that many of you are wonder how is Reverend John going to cover this one when he is out beating he god lord in top the morons and sinners of the world?
How is the good reverend going to talk about wrath when he has talked about the glory of the lord's anger and the truth behind our own anger?
Wrath is not just anger or hatred but vengeful violence or the impatience of justice and the taking of equalization into ones own hands.
Wrath is about the uncontrolled anger that is the drive to obtain instant retribution of instant justice. It is the impatience to wait for proper judgment.
Wrath is the love of justice perverted, perverted to the point of revenge and spitefulness.
It is like the time that I beat a bully up once.
I beat him so hard and so fast that he never saw what or how was beating him. He just knew that 15 minutes later he was a mess.
I have atoned for that sin and I make sure that I do not commit that sin from now on.
Wicked plans of revenge and vindication are signs of wrath.
This week begin close to Christmas and I needing to do some shopping I went to the mall. While I was shopping I see this man yelling at a clerk in Williams and Sonoma. Have any of you all been in the place?? Man the smell of chocolate is heavenly and there is no way you can go in that store and be mad at the same time. I step in and say sir you really need to calm the fuck down. There is no need to yell at that clerk.
You need to mind your own business bible thumper and he shoved me away.
He then turned to the clerk and slapped them again and said your store lies and you lied.
I stepped back into the store and tell the clerk you should step away for this person as they are out of control and need to be dealt with.
He walks up into striking distance and I wallop him before he can say a word, before he can raise his fist.
I may have committed a sin and I would have to answer for that.
But he pissed me off and I used my rage in a completely unconstructive nay completely destructive way.
I used the anger and power the lord gave me and I apologized to him immediately.
Then I thought I saw the flicker of something in the man's eyes when he took the blow, I thought that maybe I saw Satan behind those eyes. And this shopper was not so quick to get control and he began to beat on the poor clerk. Man this fucker was out of control real fast. I realized immediately that this man was possessed by the demon Satan and had to do something fast. Satan is the demon whose domain is wrath.
I reached into one of my shopping bags and grabbed my bible and the bottle of water I was drinking.
There was a crowd had beginning to gather at the scene.
I opened my bible to Luke and I recited;

Luk 4:31-35 So he went down to Capernaum, a town in Galilee, and on the Sabbath he began to teach the people. They were amazed at his teaching, because he spoke with authority. Now in the synagogue there was a man who had the spirit of an unclean demon, and he cried out with a loud voice, “Ha! Leave us alone, Jesus the Nazarene! Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are – the Holy One of God.” But Jesus rebuked him: “Silence! Come out of him!” Then, after the demon threw the man down in their midst, he came out of him without hurting him.

And I brought the water bottle down on his head 7 times.
I yelled "Satan! Get out of that man now!" stop this wrathful beating as I cast you to the pits of hell that you came from you vile evil beast.
Satan be gone! As I am going to anoint you with the Holy Spirit! And I brought the bottle of water down upon his head again.
A guttural scream of agony bellowed from the man and he stopped beating on the clerk that was trying to resolve his issue. He spun and looked at me his eyes glowing; a woman screamed in fear and fainted. He stepped to me and I brought my bible a crossed his face.
His head snapped to one side and he spit out three teeth.
Shit this guy is going to be pissed at me when this is over.
That is right when this is over for I was not about to stop now and leave this man possessed by the demon Satan!
The demon spoke to me in a tongue that only I could hear and understand.
He said, he said that he was going to eat this soul and he was going to eat mine as well and smoke came out of his mouth and nostrils. And flames flickered in the pupils of the man's eyes.
I brought the bible back across the mans face and said.

Luk 4:41 Demons also came out of many, crying out, “You are the Son of God!” But he rebuked them, and would not allow them to speak, because they knew that he was the Christ.

Luk 10:14-20 But it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon in the judgment than for you! And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven? No, you will be thrown down to Hades! “The one who listens to you listens to me, and the one who rejects you rejects me, and the one who rejects me rejects the one who sent me.” Then the seventy-two returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons submit to us in your name!” So he said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Look, I have given you authority to tread on snakes and scorpions and on the full force of the enemy, and nothing will hurt you. Nevertheless, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names stand written in heaven.”

Then I laid my hand on his forehead and I said, "Satan you are a pussy, you know you are, and everyone in the kingdom of god knows you are. We all make fun of you, we laugh at your inadequacies and you inability to mount any type of real resistance to Jesus back in the day and today you are only as strong as the cable signal that transmits MTV."
“You Satan are a fucktard, wanna-be hardcore, ha you are a poser! That is right a poser! A cheap fancy pants copy of anything that is real and true. You are a fucking cheap knock off and I command you to leave this man now!"
I pushed back like I see in television and the man staggered back and back and then his eyes opened up and he wept.
He said “help me reverend help me please.” and he sobbed and he collapsed but the clever demon Satan had not vacated this man’s soul not just yet.
I opened the bible and read Luke 7 verse 20 through 23.

When the men came to Jesus, they said, “John the Baptist has sent us to you to ask, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or should we look for another?’” At that very time Jesus cured many people of diseases, sicknesses, and evil spirits, and granted sight to many who were blind. So he answered them, “Go tell John what you have seen and heard: The blind see, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, the poor have good news proclaimed to them. Blessed is anyone who takes no offense at me.”

Satan you offend god, you offend Jesus, you offend me and most of all you offend this man now go! Go now! Or I shall call you by your real name and send you to hell for ever!
Satan reared back into life in the man's face. The tears turned to steam and he stood. I then realized that this man was bigger when Satan was at the wheel.
“John, you foolish mortal. Do you really think you can kick me out? Do you think you have enough in you to take me on?”
“Shit you are a pathetic boxer who beats women and old men.”
“Not true Satan I beat all mortals that need education, just as I will beat you and I brought the bottle across his chin.”
The bottle split open and sprayed water across his shoulder and he winced as if it hurt this time.
Satan bellowed "You blessed your bottle of water??
"Yeah it's a habit" I shrugged
Satan stepped back as I unscrewed the cap and said.

Luk 8:2 and also some women who had been healed of evil spirits and disabilities: Mary (called Magdalene), from whom seven demons had gone out,

“Satan is a pussy and Satan needs to go home.”
Now the crowd was larger and the crowd began to press in as the smoke from the man was getting thicker and the smell of rotting flesh was beginning to stick in my nose and I began to heave a bit. I am not ashamed to say that threw up a little in my mouth but I held it and I went forward with the exorcism knowing that I had Satan on the ropes and I spoke to the demon Satan and I said, “Satan you will now go and not bother any of us now or ever. You will go and tell your fussy pussy fucker turd friends in Hades that I am here now and I am going to rid the world of your evil and your evil ways.”

Luk 8:30 Jesus then asked him, “What is your name?” He said, “Legion,” because many demons had entered him. 8:31 And they began to beg him not to order them to depart into the abyss. 8:32 Now a large herd of pigs was feeding there on the hillside, and the demonic spirits begged Jesus to let them go into them. He gave them permission. 8:33 So the demons came out of the man and went into the pigs, and the herd of pigs rushed down the steep slope into the lake and drowned.

I placed my fists on my hips because it seemed a very super hero-ish thing to do and said, “Now go.” And with that I did a double round house kick and sent the demon sprawling. I leaped into the air and I dumped the remained of the water on the man and he screamed and he howled.
I brought the bible spine down on his forehead and said, “Demon go now! demon go now!” and with every drop of the bible I yelled “NOW!” and the crowd began to chant
“Satan go now! Satan go now!” and the murmur began to be come a choir of chanting for Satan to leave and the holy sprit came down and entered the man through his feet and I saw the spirit and I wept. I looked to heaven and as I did I saw the whole crowd weeping with happiness.

Luk 9:39 A spirit seizes him, and he suddenly screams; it throws him into convulsions and causes him to foam at the mouth. It hardly ever leaves him alone, torturing him severely. 9:40 I begged your disciples to cast it out, but they could not do so.” 9:41 Jesus answered, “You unbelieving and perverse generation! How much longer must I be with you and endure you? Bring your son here.” 9:42 As the boy was approaching, the demon threw him to the ground and shook him with convulsions. But Jesus rebuked the unclean spirit, healed the boy, and gave him back to his father. 9:43 Then they were all astonished at the mighty power of God.

And the bible spine broke again and pages of the gospel flew out and all around the man. And some landed on the man and he screamed and Satan come out of his mouth and the spirit followed chasing Satan and the crowd stopped chanting and the crowd gasped at the spectacle.
The man breathed in deep with a gasp as if coming up for air. His teeth were replaced the wounds from the bible and the bottle of water had healed. And looked to me as if for the first time and he stated what happened?
The crowed began to clap and we all helped the man to his feet.
He hugged us all as if we were family.
Then the manager stepped into the circle and said, “who is going to clean this mess up?”
“What have you done preacher? Goddamn it now I have to clean up the fucking mess. You people are out of control goddamn it.” And there was a flicker in his eye.
And I opened the bible and read:

Luk 4:31-35 So he went down to Capernaum, a town in Galilee, and on the Sabbath he began to teach the people. They were amazed at his teaching, because he spoke with authority. Now in the synagogue there was a man who had the spirit of an unclean demon, and he cried out with a loud voice, “Ha! Leave us alone, Jesus the Nazarene! Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are – the Holy One of God.” But Jesus rebuked him: “Silence! Come out of him!” Then, after the demon threw the man down in their midst, he came out of him without hurting him.

There are cookies and coffee and doughnuts in the foyer for everybody. I want everyone to remember that that on Christmas Eve I will be performing a midnight service and blessing foods for the Christmas meals that day. So if you would like your meal blessed bring the foods to the church that evening and during service I will bless the foods and drinks.
Please go in peace and have a great week!

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Seven Deadly Sins: Pride By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2008-05-02T06:19:00.000-07:00

Seven Deadly Sins: Pride
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Mar 7:22
adultery, greed, evil, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, pride, and folly.

Today we talk about Pride.

In almost every list Pride is considered the original and most serious of the seven deadly
Sins.

Did you know that the demon for pride is Lucifer? It was Lucifer’s pride that bested him and made god angry and cast Lucifer from heaven and transformed him into Satan.
Great classical plays and stories are about pride and how pride can destroy everything that made that person proud.
God hates evil and he hates pride.
When I was young I loved this woman very much. I would do anything for her but tell her that I loved her. Because she would no longer want to see me if I told her I loved her. That was her thing. She did it to all of my friends. She would boast about how beautiful she was an how she could get any man to fall in love with her and her beauty.

Pro 6:15 Therefore, his disaster will come suddenly;
in an instant he will be broken, and there will be no remedy.

We dated for quite a while and she would ask me if I loved her and I would get silent and I would appear to think on this.
Inside my heart and in my mind there was a fever for her and we wanted to scream to the heavens and to every stranger that we indeed loved her with every fiber of our existence.
And then I would look her in the eye and lie like a car salesman. No I do not love you yet but I do really like you and I really enjoy spending time with you. why do you love me?"
To which she would reply, "do not be silly for I am too pretty to love just you. I will marry a rich man and love him."

Pro 6:16 There are six things that the Lord hates, even seven things that are an abomination to him:

Pro 6:17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,

Now although my lie was a lie it was a small lie and I do not think that the good lord is going to let me beat up evil and save souls and then bar-b-que my feet.
But I know the lord was mad at her.

Pro 8:13
The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; I hate arrogant pride and the evil way and perverse utterances.

One day while in her arms I whispered very very softly that I loved her. The volume of my whisper was not even audible to my ears but I know she heard me. She began to make ridiculous demands of me. She made me forget my friends. She made me spend all of my money. She made me insane.
I began to drink from the guilt I carried for the leaving of my friends. Some of them really needed me but I forego them to make her happy. My guilt was a yoke of many men who had loved her. I felt I had lost all of myself in that one whispered statement. I had mortgaged everything that was me for her smile.
She never asked me if I loved her. She never asked me to do anything I did for her. She told me I loved her and I did no argue. She told me to leave my friends. She told me I drank too much and she told me to stop calling.
I did as I was told because I was in love and I had to believe that she would come around and love me too.
I drank more and more.
I walked the city streets in a tunnel vision haze of liquor and heart break.
I gave up showering because I thought she might call while I was in the shower.
She would see me on the street and she would be with her new boyfriend and they would point and laugh at me. She would tell her boyfriends that I loved her and that all men loved her because she was so beautiful.

Psa 59:12
They speak sinful words. So let them be trapped by their own pride and by the curses and lies they speak!

Well one day a few things happened that cause me to wake up.
One was a friend coming by and smacking me around until I saw the errors of my ways.
I dried out.
I sobered up and I fell out of love with the bitch.
I quickly began to hate the evil, twisted, tragic fucking cunt that had eaten my heart and vomited my love onto my feet.
I hated myself for the memory I carried in my heart and burned on my brain
I was now on a crusade to bring the fat fucking cow down. I began calling at all hours of the night. I would make calls and when a man answered I would tell him what an evil witch she was and they would laugh at me.
I got angrier and I began to follow the male suitors home after they had a date with her.
I would catch them on the steps of their apartments and I would come up behind them and grab them. I could smell her on their clothes and in their hair. I could see her lipstick on their flesh and I would become enraged to the point of berserk and I would beat them to an inch of their lives. The beating came so swift and fierce they did not even have a chance to see my face.
But she would tend their wounds and play nurse maid for the ones I broke bones. At least until they said the three words and then she would leave them in the dark on the couch or in the bed with no more than a "see you later baby".
She was evil and I was a man possessed by evil love slash hate.

Isa 13:11
I will punish the world for its evil, and wicked people for their sin. I will put an end to the pride of the insolent, I will bring down the arrogance of tyrants.

One morning I awoke and I no longer wanted to go out and hunt. I no longer wanted to find out who she was dating. I was over her. Three long years of this and I was awake. I was free of her spell, of her evil control.

Rom 12:16
Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty but associate with the lowly. Do not be conceited.

I began to get my life together. I began to see the light and one day while getting my ass beat by some crooked cops, god spoke to me and I found my calling and I became the person before you today.
But her, well the other day I was asked to help a member move out of a trailer park. We had about got all of the furniture moved out when I heard some yelling from the mobile home across the way.
The church member I was helping said that there was a troubled and dysfunctional couple in there and that they fought all hours of the day.
They raised reptiles for support and they were always drunk on cheap wine. And that they had been friends until I brought him to the lord.
We began to move boxes into the trailer when the door on the trailer busted open and the woman fell out. She was a mess, hair all scraggly and fat bulging out of the top of her too tight pants. She jiggled where one hopes to never jiggle.
The door burst open again and out came a very masculine woman.
“And do not ever come back again we are done. You hear me we are done. I am tired of hearing how beautiful you are and how every man wants to be with you. Where are they? “I see nothing! Hey there is a preacher you want to try and get him to fall in love.”
“No baby I love you please do not throw me out like this. I do not know what I will do without you.”
“The men mean nothing to me they are there to support us. I tell you I want nothing to do with them.”
Yes you guessed it the girl begging was the bitch that chewed me up.
The girl in the mud looked at me and she smiled. She did not even recognize me in amongst all of the other poor souls that she swallowed.
She stood and brushed off the mud. She stepped towards the door of the house and the woman charged down the stairs and slapped her to the ground. "I told you, you were done here I want you gone." And the she began to kick her while she huddled on the ground weeping in the fetal position.

Mal 4:2
But for you who respect my name, the sun of vindication will rise with healing wings, and you will skip about like calves released from the stall.

“You must stop” I yelled. And I picked up my blood stained, well worn, and tattered bible.
The church member I was assisting sat on the tail of the trailer and opened a beer.
“Wait here” I said.
I strode across the street towards the altercation.
She looked up and told me to mind my own business.
“But ma'am this is my business you are hurting another human being.”
“No I am telling my ex to leave but she will not.” And she kicked her again.
My ex-love began to weep and wail.
I stepped in between and helped her to her feet.
“You know father she is not special.”
“No my child we are all special and you are treading on a serious course to seeing the great lord himself.”
“Oh yeah is that so?”
“That is right” my old flame said, “You tell her Johnny.”
I looked at her and she looked at me and I knew at that moment she knew who I was and she knew I knew and she knew I did not love her anymore.
She just cratered. She knew I was walking away telling them both that they deserved each other.
But no I backed handed the masculine woman and slapped the bible across the old lovers face.
I told them both the story about pride and about how Lucifer was cast from heaven because of his pride and arrogance.
They repented after a couple of bible belts. They swore they would mend their ways and attend church. They have not arrived here and I hope they have arrived at another church.

Pro 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Stop in the foyer for some coffee and donuts. Talk to the deacons about the upcoming summer camp for the kids and how you may be able to assist in the training and teachings of young minds.
Please go in peace and do not honk at each other.

Amen

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Get In The Game Or We All Lose. By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2008-04-24T06:51:00.000-07:00

Get In The Game Or We All Lose.
   By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

I would like to talk about the laziness of some and the stupidity of the rest
We all know the story of the ant and the grasshopper.
In summary;
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

But the whining bleeding hearts have brought about a change of the worst kind. The Katrina victims have brought light onto a new type of citizen, a new type of drag on society, another leak in the damn that is the American economy and thus created a new version of the story.
I can not take credit for this as I received the story in an e-mail with out an author.
So here how the new story goes,

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'
Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.
Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.
Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.
The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote.

Jer 12:1
Lord, you have always been fair whenever I have complained to you. However, I would like to speak with you about the disposition of justice. Why are wicked people successful? Why do all dishonest people have such easy lives?

Pro 1:19
Such are the ways of all who gain profit unjustly; it takes away the life of those who obtain it!

Pro 10:2
Treasures gained by wickedness do not profit, but righteousness delivers from mortal danger.

Pro 11:4
Wealth does not profit in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from mortal danger.

Pro 14:23
In all hard work there is profit, but merely talking about it only brings poverty.

They are successful because they fight and they cheat. You can be successful without cheating but you have to get in there and fight for what is yours.
Yes that is right another “get in the game sermon.”
I know that I have spoken three other times but these are the ones that I am asked to bring to my speaking engagements and my pos-mo sermons.

You all need to get in the goddamn game.

Psa 38:9
O Lord, you understand my heart’s desire; my groaning is not hidden from you.

Psa 51:6
Look, you desire integrity in the inner man; you want me to possess wisdom.

Psa 51:12
Let me again experience the joy of your deliverance! Sustain me by giving me the desire to obey!

You all need to get in the goddamn game.

Psa 73:25
Whom do I have in heaven but you? I desire no one but you on earth.

Psa 95:10
For forty years I was continually disgusted with that generation, and I said, ‘These people desire to go astray; they do not obey my commands.’

I see many of you at the food line too many times. Are you all playing video games instead of looking for a job??
What the fuck are you all doing?

Psa 75:5
Do not be so certain you have won! Do not speak with your head held so high!

I know that we have a job board in the lobby that is filled with many jobs that do not require any special training.
Get off your damn asses and get to fucking work!
Make money!
Provide for your family!
Take pride in your life!
Tithe to the church!
Do not be the slothful grasshopper and not prepare for leaner times.
Do not be a hobo or hippy that does not need money. Money is what makes the world go around.
Be a provider! Set an example to your family on how to get in and compete.
With out competition there will be no finish line there will be no end. You must race to finish.

Eze 33:5
He heard the sound of the trumpet but did not heed the warning, so he is responsible for himself. If he had heeded the warning, he would have saved his life.

Be proud that you live a life of ass kicking. Be proud that you live a life of self sufficiency. Revel in the fact that what you put on the table is what you brought home not something that someone gave you.
Stop being a drag on the rest of us and be one that helps build not tear down. Help bring the First Execration Church of Odium Anathema to the place that rivals any other church both in community and in family.
The lord has spoken to me and has told me that if my community does not pick it there will be hell to pay.
[Yell and bang on podium]That is right! [Yell and bang on podium] Hell to pay.
So for now on –if you want to get a hand out at the food bank you have to come down to the church 2 days a week and box with me for 10 minutes before you can get a box of groceries.
That is right you will now have to work for the hand out.
If you do not like that then you can try to leech off the First Baptist Church down the street but be advised I have already spoken to the rest of the food banks and distributed pictures and outlines to the rest that you are a dead beat and a loser. If you do not like this then move to the next town.
The Knights of Acrimony will be more than happy to drive you with the rest of the fucking homeless losers they run out of town every week.
The times of free hand outs is over the times of coasting and getting by has hurt this country dearly and now we are all paying for the mistakes of generations before us.
Get off your asses and get in the game.
Finish the race right and just. Finish with a sense of pride and build a better community now and for the future.
The more of you deadbeats the harder it is for us the longer you all drag the harder it is for the rest of us.
One day they will say you know what you can just give up your freedoms and your choices. We are going to take care of everything and there you will not get to make any choices as we can make better ones for you all.

Mat 23:36
I tell you the truth, this generation will be held responsible for all these things!

Then two generations later after that they say you know this is not worki9ng so now you have to work will we tell you work and no you do not get any choices in return you are still unable to think for yourselves and there we have the perfect government controlled society.

Jer 5:28
That is how they have grown fat and sleek. There is no limit to the evil things they do. They do not plead the cause of the fatherless in such a way as to win it. They do not defend the rights of the poor.

They will pump the porn to your home to keep you inside and they will pump the television with government propaganda so the rest will be afraid to go out side and since you all lost the will to fight or care you all doomed us to an Orwellian society. And we all suffer and die a controlled death and are miserable.

1Co 9:24
Do you not know that all the runners in a stadium compete, but only one receives the prize? So run to win.

[Bang on the podium and yell] Get on the ball!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Get on the stick!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Just do it!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Get over it!
[Bang on the podium and yell] Get it together!
Fucking wake yup you pathetic bunch of lazy bastards.
[Bang on the podium and yell]FUCK!
Do not let the sinners win.
Do not let the cheaters walk away with the prize
Do not just roll over and whimper!
Scream kick and punch the crap out of the heathens until the relinquish that which is yours.
Now go and fight for that cookie.
Fight for that cup of coffee.
Fight for that place in traffic.
Kick some ass and see me next week.

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

I have a condition

2008-04-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

So I have a story to tell you all.
I was a bad kid when I was younger. I did things that no one can understand unless they have been there. And those that have been there are usually dead or they will not talk about it. And so not to do those things I did different things.
And I am not going to talk about any of it except that I am going to say that one day a terrible terrible tragedy befell me and I was in a predicament that one talks to god in all earnest. And these stories are told all the time if the person experiencing them lives to tell the tale and witness.
So today I am going to witness
I was staring down the barrel of a gun one day and I knew I was going to die I knew this because I was going to pull the trigger. I was going to me my killer. I was going to right many injustices. This was not suicide nothing even close to it. I was going to be my judge jury and executioner. I had done some things that people are killed for and I was not going to do them any more.
I was there looking into the black hole that is the barrel of the shotgun and I was going over my crimes. all of them every single one because I carry them around with me and every day I wake I sit on the edge of my bed and I first go over my crimes and then I go over my list of hated people. This list is short because if I am to go over this list I do not want to go over much.
The list of crimes range from felonies to misdemeanors to crimes against nature and my fellow man.
That day I was putting my self on trial.
And I had no defense except I was just trying to survive.
So I had finished the case and I decided that I should be put down. And I pleaded with god to please stop this and let me live and god spoke to me. He said that the fact I was talking to him and that I was about to try myself for my crimes meant that I was repentant and that he forgave me.
He told me to become a witness and to spread the word through my ministry in my way. And then he touched my hands.
So every year about this time in April I have these markings on my hands they last about three days and they are gone.
I do not know and I do not talk about it with anyone.

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Also reading

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 6 February, 2008..

Thieving, adultery and the game of life. By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2008-04-11T12:57:00.000-07:00

Thieving, adultery and the game of life.
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

It seems that there are some busy bodies in the congregation. Some nosey gossipy old women. I keep finding pieces of paper under the door, notes being slipped under the crack for me to find so that I may source and correct these tragic failures of righteous living. They tell tales of wickedness and deceit.
These are truly wondrous stories of adultery and clandestine meetings in cheap Motor Inns. Fantastic tales and romantic stories of embezzlement, corporate espionage, and insider trading that would make many authors weep and drool fro story lines as terrific as these.
I had one that was two pages front and back about how one member of the community felt that his wife was cheating on him and asking me to intervene with a sermon or a visit to this member’s home. He stated that he was about to take matters into his own hands and file for divorce.
I do not normally cow toe to the pleadings of others but this has been a slow week and I have been too busy with my tour to find another subject to talk to you about but hey this is important also.

Lev 19:18
You must not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the children of your people, but you must love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.

Lev 26:25
I will bring on you an avenging sword, a covenant vengeance. Although you will gather together into your cities, I will send pestilence among you and you will be given into enemy hands.

Now I come from a broken home and I see the evil and stress that an act like this can create, but I also know that one must do what one must do.
To the members of this community that are committing adulterous acts, STOP [BANG on Podium] Stop right now. File for divorce and cut the cancer that is destroying your mate's life. Yes [Yelling] YOU are the cancer. Get right! Come down and see me. I will beat you back to the path of the lord and a happy marriage.
Or just cut the ties that bind you from living a life of deceit and decadent pleasures. You are destroying a bond, a union that was created ion heaven by god and in gods witness you promised to honor your mate. Let this be the last loving act you perform for this spouse. Divorce and be done with you and your evil ways.
If you think I am cruel and I maybe wrong then bring your happy ass down and bring that lecherous buffoon that is your clandestine lover. You and them can both enter he ring and plead your case on why you are right and god is wrong. And I will beat both your asses into the fucking ground because you know that I am right [bang on the podium] and that god is on my side!

1 John 3:7 Little children, let no one deceive you: The one who practices righteousness is righteous, just as Jesus is righteous. 3:8 The one who practices sin is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was revealed: to destroy the works of the devil.

It will not be me who really beats you to with in an inch of your life it will be god who beats you. It is always god that does the beatings. He beats the shit out of everyone through me. He fills me with the Holy Spirit like you all but instead of tongues and healings I am giving the gift of possession and I beat the shit out of you sinners. You weak sons of bitches that can not follow simple fucking instructions. Jesus h Christ guys how fucking hard is it to follow 10 simple rules and avoid seven fucking sins.
Christ what a bunch of freaking losers!

Num 22:23
And the ass saw the Lord standing in the road with his sword drawn in his hand, so the ass turned aside from the road and went into the field. But Balaam beat the ass, to make her turn back to the road.

You are all the ass that runs from god every chance you get. I am here to beat you back to the path of righteousness.
Your kids are looking at you and seeing how you all act and when you act the fool your kids will act the fool and the world will act the fool and you all will cause great harm to the rest of us who are trying to live as god wanted us to. If you all cause the apocalypse during my time I will be very pissed off.

2Sa 22:39
I wipe them out and beat them to death; they cannot get up; they fall at my feet.

Psa 18:38
I beat them to death; they fall at my feet.

Psa 18:42
I grind them as fine windblown dust; I beat them underfoot like clay in the streets.

Yes you can bring the apocalypse down upon us. And you should not have to think about your tally sheet. You should have confidence that your tally sheet is positive.
Do not wait until your end times and look out on the acts within your play and say yeah I have enough good. You should know with thinking that you are positive because there may not be a reflective time. The lord may call you home right now! [Snap fingers]

1thes 4:17 Then we who are alive, who are left, will be suddenly caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will always be with the Lord. 4:18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.

The stories of stealing from work, the store, the bank, [Yelling] Your church is freaking horrendous and a criminal shame. How laughable it is that you would all steal from the one place that gives you peace and salvation.
I am speaking directly to you. Stop this thieving now! The thieving of monetary material things does not help you and does not help your neighbor. Now I want you to turn to your neighbor and tell them you are sorry.
Now if your neighbor said they were sorry I want you to beat the shit out of them now.

Hos 4:2
There is only cursing, lying, murder, stealing, and adultery. They resort to violence and bloodshed.

Rom 2:21
therefore you who teach someone else, do you not teach yourself? You who preach against stealing, do you steal?

Why would one steal from the church? I would like to know. Is it not the church that has shown you the way to the light?
Is it not the church that has put food on your table when needed? Weren’t most of you lost when I beat the crap out of you and you saw the light?
Actually I know that no one is stealing front he church because I have a mathematical equation that tells me based on the number in the congregation and the income of you all how much I should expect to see in the plate and the numbers are always very close.
But to steal from work?
You are going to lose your job. If you feel that work owes you more then ask for it. If they do not give it to you then leave. The best way to take what is yours is to take the very thing that makes that company what that company is and that is you and your talent.
Get paid but do not cheat.
Get right but do not sin.
Get love but do not commit adultery.
Get yours but do not steal.
Get them before they get you.

Jer 13:27
People of Jerusalem, I have seen your adulterous worship, your shameless prostitution to, and your lustful pursuit of, other gods. I have seen your disgusting acts of worship on the hills throughout the countryside. You are doomed to destruction! How long will you continue to be unclean?’”

Phi 3:2
Beware of the dogs, beware of the evil workers, beware of those who mutilate the flesh! For we are the circumcision, the ones who worship by the Spirit of God, exult in Christ Jesus, and do not rely on human credentials

There are many out there to take advantage of you. If you let them, then it is your fault. Make them pay for what is yours.
There are many traps and pitfalls on the road to the lord. Stay the straight and narrow and do not sin but make them pay for what is yours.
Find a mate who supports you and support that mate back. Between the two of you, you can make them pay for what is yours.
If you think it belongs to you then it does. If it turns out that t belongs to someone else get a reward for the return but do not take from another, do not steal. But by all means beat the shit out of any thief you find!
The game of life is a competition, do not be mistaken. From the time of the cave man we have had to compete for food, shelter, fire, and a mate to carry our genes on.
Part of competing is resource gathering, another part of competing is making the competition lose. You can not have a winner with out a loser. Do not be the loser be the winner. Get them before they get you. Make them the loser and make you the winner.
Beat them into the ground. And when you receive your prize TAKE IT! And when you take the prize make the competition your podium by standing on their backs, their heads, and their necks, and when you receive the prize look down at the loser and thank them for being the loser for with out them you would have just been a thief.
Please please remember that you are not to steal ever!
Remember that not only is god watching you but some poor lonely bored slob here at church.
And if you are the poor lonely slob maybe you should spend more time in game competing then whining about how the game is played.
Lives is not a spectator sport either play or die!
Now get out there and fight.
Now get out there and win
GET OUT THERE AND BEAT SOME GOD INTO SOMEBODY!
Get out of here and have some damn cookies and coffee.
Get out of here and help a single mother with a chore.
Get out of here and make some fucking money and bring it back.
Get out of here and buy my damn book (that goes on sale December 1st through LULU.com)

Go in peace AMEN.

	Currently reading Like A Monkey With A Handgun By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 3 December, 2007
	Also reading With A Mouthful Of Razorblades By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 6 February, 2007

random propaganda

2008-04-08T07:35:00.001-07:00

These links came to me as i was doing my taxes.
My AIM popped up and told me to enlighten myself
i did not recognize the screen name so
me: who the fuck is this and what the fuck do you fucking want
them: they said to just watch
me: do i know you?
them: yes we ar efriends
me: i do not know the name and i do not click links from fucking morons
them: just click the link
me: what is it going to tell me how to increase my penis size?
me: or just drop a back door bot on my HD
them: just watch the fucking clip
me: you are not getting any fucking points talking to me like that asswipe
them: we know each other from pimpwar.com
them: and maybe fantasy football
me: i do not play fantasy football but i do play pimpwar
me: you masshole?
them: no he is a dick
me: now see you almost had me and then you dropped the dick word
them: lol

I copy and paste the link
http://youtube.com/watch?v=vuBo4E77ZXo&feature=related

me: This is what i have been preaching about in sermons and blogs http://cwtstraydog.blogspot.com/ and http://revjohnsleestaxx.blogspot.com/ and http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=49655310

Them: i have 30 people watching the clip and you are the only person talking to me.
me: they are sheep and they are not watching the clip. they are lieing to you they are all lying to you.
them: you really a priest?
me: yes i am an ordained minister so i am a preacher or reverend
them: i have a question
me: i have to do my fucking taxes
them: just go to this link and cue to 8:25 in the movie and watch for 15 minutes
http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/
me: wtf??
them: just go there
I go there and the premise is that all religion is false and all religions tell the very same story, 12 dispiles born on the 25th of December and was killed and came back to life.
me: the video locked up at 10 minutes what did you want to know
them: is it true?
me: what?
them: the video part about religion
me: no they pencil whipped some data and stretched some false hoods and then they took much more out of context. if you are worried about this propaganda then you should sit down down with your clergy
them: i am roman catholic
me: you are fucked
me: they freak when you ask questions but they have become more progressive and will talk to you about these things.
them: thanks
me: np

I am the right cross of god and i am the ear of god

2008-03-28T06:39:00.000-07:00

I have an announcement.
The Pope is a regular reader and I am an advisor to the pope.
I know people in the Bio-information field and I know other in genetic engineering and I tell each one that they are killing god because when they can do what god does others will then say if we can do it then god does not exists and our entire moral and ethical foundation will fall away leaving selfishness, moral turpitude and a crumbling of any value set the human race had left.
they laugh and scoff.
I tell them that not only am I the right cross of god but i also have the ear of god but they laugh and scoff.
I have written many sermons relating to the following news article. I have preached this and I have baptized sinners over this.
October 11th i wrote a sermon about the greed of employers and the sins they are committing as false prophets.

and now the pope as declared Seven new sins

http://www.thedaily.com.au/news/2008/mar/11/seven-new-deadly-sins-declared-by-the-vatican/

Seven new deadly sins

9:44a.m. 11 March 2008

Gluttony and Pride are out of vogue as Pollution and Being Rich step in as some of the new ’mortal sins’ as updated by the Vatican. See full list below.

Times have changed and so have sins and sinners, according to the Pope’s second-in-charge, Monsignor Gianfranco Girotti, who this weekend spoke on modern evils, Reuters reports.

Genetic manipulation, drugs that ’weaken the mind and cloud intelligence,’ and the imbalance between the rich and the poor have made the cut to be new sins punishable by an eternity of damnation in hellfire.

It also seems that Dolly the sheep’s creators are due for a shock in the afterlife, as Girotti, the head of the Apostolic Penitentiary, told the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano that bioethics were an important area of danger for the ’modern soul.’

"There are areas where we absolutely must denounce some violations of the fundamental rights of human nature through experiments and genetic manipulation whose outcome is difficult to predict and control," he said.

The interview entitled ’New Forms of Social Sin,’ also listed ecological offences as a issue of substance.

The Vatican plans to lead by example with some Holy See buildings set to use solar energy, including photovoltaic cells on the roof of the auditorium for pilgrims’ audiences with the pontiff.

But will these new sins make people feel the need to confess their carbon-monoxide spewing 4x4 any more than they would confess casting a lusty eye over the neighbor’s wife?

Not likely, as Girotti also bemoaned the fact that fewer and fewer Catholics go to confession in our day.

A study by Milan’s Catholic University had shown that up to 60 percent of Catholics in Italy did not attend confession - where a priest can absolve them of their sins in God’s name - with 20 percent feeling uncomfortable discussing their sins with another person.

Just as life was back in the 6th Century when Pope Gregory the Great declared the original seven sins, they were a lot simpler. However, their punishment was still no fun at all:

1. Pride - Broken on the wheel
2. Envy - Put in freezing water
3. Gluttony -Forced to eat rats, toads, and snakes
4. Lust - Smothered in fire and brimstone
5. Anger - Dismembered alive
6. Greed - Put in cauldrons of boiling oil
7. Sloth - Thrown in snake pits

The new sins are a lot less black and white:

1. "Bioethical" violations such as birth control
2. "Morally dubious" experiments such as stem cell research
3. Drug abuse
4. Polluting the environment
5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor
6. Excessive wealth
7. Creating poverty

No specific punishments have been put forward as yet, although one would assume that modern sins deserve suitably modern punishments.

Perhaps ’an eternity without your Blackberry’ or ’only people you want to avoid will add you as Facebook friends forever’ could be suggested.

..tr valign="top"> ..table>

	Currently reading Like A Monkey With A Handgun By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 3 December, 2007
	Also reading With A Mouthful Of Razorblades By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 6 February, 2007

One year

2008-03-25T06:47:00.001-07:00

for a year into this void of humanity and reason that is myspace. one year and 162 posts of rambling crap, sermons of the messages that god leaves for me on my voicemail, and homilies of fucking losers and assholes that I have beaten and baptized.
I thought that maybe I would share some of the data I have collected.
My running average of people looking at my profile is 18 a day
the running average looking at my blog is 23 a day
The running average of friend request that are accepted is 3 a day and the total req is 22. some are just fuckers that want to bitch at me and some are spam.
25+ million lunatics have joined my network over the last year and I expect that most are just horny girls to stupid to figure out how to upload their nudy pictures (lol) so they have a more mature profile because myspace is for kids.
My son's profile hardly changes and he has not tried to hide anything from us either.
In the past year I have written two books.
I also expect that posting most of the book online may hurt my sales too.
The graphic novel is not going to be posted and is nearly half complete. Fuck I hate being an artist!
following is the first post and the only rerun in one year I would like the television fuckers to say that!

Anger And Malice
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

A couple of readings first….

Rom 1:29 They are filled with every kind of unrighteousness, wickedness, covetousness, and malice. They are rife with envy, murder, strife, deceit, and hostility. They are gossips!

And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us

My friends I carry much anger over the care of our fellow man. Meaning what we do to our neighbors, what we inflict on our brothers deeply and profoundly troubles me.

Let me tell you the story of two panhandlers

I wanted to know why one race makes more than another race. I mean we are both men, we are both created in God's image, getting it down to brass tacks we both have the same mother and father. As we all know that Adam and Eve is our father and mother.
But everyone expects one to work and the other not to work.
This has to be wrong, so I decided to test the theory. I asked one race to panhandle with me ( I explained I would double any money he collected). We picked a street corner and took one side while I took the other.
During the course of the day I was yelled at, spit at, and basically treated as trash, no more than a piece of human garbage. While the other guy made 350 dollars.
This was ridiculous!
I was expected to work and I was not entitled to any help or handout because I was white while the other panhandler made 350 dollars. He made 350 dollars for doing nothing but standing there with his hand out. I even made the friggin’ sign so that they would read the same
Did I double his money?
Hell No! The lord helps those that help themselves!
He needs nothing from me he makes more from handouts than I do for hard work! Fuck That!
I bust my hump every day and make less while he hangs out for a few hours and makes more money.
What do you think I did? That's right! I kicked his ass and took all of the money.
Now that Is Malice.
Now there maybe some of you that are a little upset by this, There maybe some of you that may be offended.
And well that is fine, you are entitled to your own opinion and you are welcome to come down after the sermon to get your ass kicked by me.

Rom 1:29 They are filled with every kind of unrighteousness, wickedness, covetousness, malice. They are rife with envy, murder, strife, deceit, hostility. They are gossips,
I hold baptismal beatings every Thursday night in the rectory boxing ring.
Why do we call them baptismal beatings?

Num 22:23 And the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with his sword drawn in his hand, so the donkey turned aside from the road and went into the field. But Balaam beat the donkey, to make her turn back to the road.

You are all the ass that when you see the lord or his angels you turn from the road in fear.
Because the beatings do not stop until you are screaming in tongues "oh God stop oh God Make it stop!"

Sa 22:39 I wipe them out and beat them to death; they cannot get up; they fall at my feet

Some parishioners think that maybe I am a bit to harsh, but you know what? I am this way because this is the life I was dealt and it has made me this way.
All the years of being some fuck heads bitch and not getting the break I kept getting told I was due.

Mat 5:5 “Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth

My congregation is mostly made up of many individuals that realize that they are back sliders stubborn sinners that need an ass whoopin' to get set straight.
And that is where I come in, old or young, man or woman. I kick their ass until they see the light. They are the ass that runs from god and his angels. And I am the one that beats them back to the road to righteousness.
They are allowed to fight back I expect them to but you see God has made me strong

Jdg 6:14 Then the Lord himself turned to him and said, “You have the strength. Deliver Israel from the power of the Midianites! Have I not sent you?”

This is my calling.
God has asked me to kick your ass.

	Currently reading Like A Monkey With A Handgun By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 3 December, 2007
	Also reading With A Mouthful Of Razorblades By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 6 February, 2007

Oh yeah for the past 162 post i have never been anything but angry and i am proud of that!

The Next Hitler

2008-03-24T06:15:00.001-07:00

	Currently reading Like A Monkey With A Handgun By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 3 December, 2007
	Also reading With A Mouthful Of Razorblades By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 6 February, 2007

Seven Deadly Sins: Gluttony

2008-02-29T14:17:00.000-08:00

Seven Deadly Sins: Gluttony
Fast food revelations and mc-beatdown.
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

Mar 7:22
adultery, greed, evil, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, pride, and folly.

Today I am going to tell a story and talk about gluttony.

Fat people in line and a slow drive through bring me to get very angry and impatient. So this is the holiday season. The season of crass commercialism and giving. The season of shopping and eating poorly. Lucky for us the have perfected the eating poorly part to an art form.
Now you can get all the saturated fat and fake potatoes you can stomach.

Luk 7:34
The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at him, a glutton and a drunk, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’

We in deed and in spirit want to do the right thing but we are lost in pride, money lust, and sloth and so we stop at the place that is painted gold and red and offers many slow killers all prefixed with MIC.

Isa 58:7
I want you to share your food with the hungry and to provide shelter for homeless, oppressed people. When you see someone naked, clothe him! Don’t turn your back on your own flesh and blood!

Their fucking soulless marketing people began attacking the children so that as the generations got older they would know where to go for food. The bastards made fun characters and story lines so that the kids began identifying with this mega giant early on.
So here we are committing so many sins against god, personal financial freedom, our neighbor our family members and our bodies. We stop to eat at the temple of bad food and Satanism.

Everybody was hungry Moses spoke to god; god said that he would feed his people.
Exo 16:16 “This is what the Lord has commanded: ‘Each person is to gather from it what he can eat, an omer per person according to the number of your people; each one will pick it up for whoever lives in his tent.’” The Israelites did so, and they gathered – some more, some less. When they measured with an omer, the one who gathered much had nothing left over, and the one who gathered little lacked nothing; each one had gathered what he could eat.
Some saved a portion till the next morn and found it had spoiled and was infested with worms and maggots

If you can not guess I was X-Mass shopping and I stopped for something that could sedate the demon in the pit of my stomach screaming and growling it's discomfort.

Isa 29:8
It will be like a hungry man dreaming that he is eating, only to awaken and find that his stomach is empty. It will be like a thirsty man dreaming that he is drinking, only to awaken and find that he is still weak and his thirst unquenched. So it will be for the horde from all the nations that fight against Mount Zion.

The throng of people pushing and shoving was like they were all waiting to be blessed by the pope himself. They were all jockeying for position and protecting their position.
I am standing in line and this 5 foot 5 inch tall lady who was 3 feet wide and 3 feet thick cut in line in front of me. She and the three dogs fighting under her moo moo made me throw up a little in my mouth. I honestly have heard this analogy before but never knew or could even draw the image in my feeble mind. But here it was in front of me. When she stepped her ass cheek would lift to her shoulder blade and then fall.

Luke 6:25
“Woe to you who are well satisfied with food now, for you will be hungry.
“Woe to you who laugh now, for you will mourn and weep.

Ma'am the line is back there
No sonny your line is back there I am in a hurry and I need to go.
No ma'am your line is back there I am in a hurry too.
Listen preacher you can wait while I order

Mat 11:19
The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look at him, a glutton and a drunk, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ But wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.”

No, you look like you could wait a century before you would starve to death and you will go back to the end of the line.

Isa 9:20
They devoured on the right, but were still hungry, they ate on the left, but were not satisfied. People even ate the flesh of their own arm!

She went to slap me and I held up the bible and tapped her forehead.
You are healed and the demon Beelzebub is commanded to leave you. You are to renounce the evil sins of gluttony and stop eating so much food.
You are commanded by god to commit one good deed in his name of the lord before you can eat any meals and she stopped. She looked at me and cried. The lady in line next to me now that was way too much.

Deu 21:20
They must declare to the elders of his city, “Our son is stubborn and rebellious and pays no attention to what we say – he is a glutton and drunkard.”

You just shoved your religion down her throat.
Better a little word of the lord than another fucking five hamburgers to clog her heart and cause her to loose her feet to diabetes.
But you can not do that!

Luke 6:22
“Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude you and insult you and reject you as evil on account of the Son of Man! 6:23 Rejoice in that day, and jump for joy, because your reward is great in heaven. For their ancestors did the same things to the prophets.

Oh yes I can and I brought the bible down on top of her head and dropped her to her knees.
Do you not see the lord right now telling me to beat the word into you??
She shook her head and I brought the bible across her cheek.

Deu 28:48
instead in hunger, thirst, nakedness, and poverty you will serve your enemies whom the Lord will send against you. They will place an iron yoke on your neck until they have destroyed you.

She froze. She looked at me then to my right and then said "Oh lord how I have forgotten you and your word. Oh lord forgive me and my sinning ways." the fat lady helped the other lady up and they left together, weeping and praying.

Deu 30:1
“When you have experienced all these things, both the blessings and the curses I have set before you, you will reflect upon them in all the nations where the Lord your God has banished you. 30:2 Then if you and your descendants turn to the Lord your God and obey him with your whole mind and being just as I am commanding you today, 30:3 the Lord your God will reverse your captivity and have pity on you. He will turn and gather you from all

Gluttony is not just eating too much, but also eating too little, or eating too extravagantly. Really gluttony is the act of putting too much emphasis on the act of eating food. These people in line for food had put so much in the act of getting food that hey did not see the lord standing there beating the shit out of these two women.
The fast food Mecca is a temple for the demon Beelzebub.
This place should be avoided at all costs. They charge too much and they fail to distribute the wealth. They fail to assist in community projects other than that which they can use to further their own cause.

Luke 6:24
“But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your comfort already.

We need to remember that the body is a temple to the lord for the lord to reside in. And if you fill that with too much saturated fat the lord can not live and then you are alone

Deu
30:15 “Look! I have set before you today life and prosperity on the one hand, and death and disaster on the other. 30:16 What I am commanding you today is to love the Lord your God, to walk in his ways, and to obey his commandments, his statutes, and his ordinances. Then you will live and become numerous and the Lord your God will bless you in the land which you are about to possess. 30:17 However, if you turn aside and do not obey, but are lured away to worship and serve other gods, 30:18 I declare to you this very day that you will certainly perish! You will not extend your time in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess. 30:19 Today I invoke heaven and earth as a witness against you that I have set life and death, blessing and curse, before you. Therefore choose life so that you and your descendants may live! 30:20 I also call on you to love the Lord your God, to obey him and be loyal to him, for he gives you life and enables you to live continually in the land the Lord promised to give to your ancestors Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.”

I just want to remind you all that the fatter you are the harder it is to get a punch in. You all need to get fit so that you can help in the fight to beat the sinners down and into the pits of hell.
You all need to think like warriors and be prepared to fight the good fight and fight for what is right and just like the word of god.
Please remember that we are a community and that as communities we need to stop and make sure that our neighbors are ok and that everyone in the community is getting along.
We have forgotten some of the others in the community during this holiday season.
We have many members that have lost their jobs and are in need of work.
Go and yell at each other in parking lot you fucking monkeys.

	Currently reading Like A Monkey With A Handgun By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 3 December, 2007
	Also reading With A Mouthful Of Razorblades By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 6 February, 2007

With A Mouthful Of Razorblades is released

2008-02-07T04:33:00.000-08:00

Now I was working this in tandem with Monkey but there was some material i wanted in this book that had not been written yet. so there is nearly half unpublished material here.
i was also told to not publish any more sermons in any more blogs. i can not explain why but i am working on this also.
I am now working the language translations of these two.

	Like A Monkey With A Handgun By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 3 December, 2007..
	With A Mouthful Of Razorblades By Rev. J. Sleestaxx Release date: By 6 February, 2007..

Penis Panic By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2008-02-01T05:01:00.000-08:00

Penis panic
Genital retraction syndrome (GRS), generally considered a culture-specific syndrome, is a condition in which an individual is overcome with the belief that his/her external genitals—or also, in females, breasts—are retracting into the body, shrinking, or in some male cases, may be imminently removed or disappear. A penis panic is sometimes a mass hysteria event or panic in which males in a population suddenly exhibit symptoms of genital retraction syndrome.
Penis panics have occurred around the world, most notably in Africa and Asia. Local beliefs in many instances assert that such syndromes are often fatal.
Genital retraction syndrome in Southeast Asia is known as Koro (Malaysian/Indonesian), which means "head of a turtle", apparently due to the similarity in appearance of a retracted penis to the appearance of a turtle withdrawing its head (Cheng 1996). In Chinese, the term used for the condition is the Chinese term Shook yang (suo yang, ??). Outbreaks of Koro in China were reported in 1948, 1955, 1966, 1974 and 1984/85, although none have been reported in the 20 or so years since (Tseng 2006).
In cases where the fear of the penis being retracted is secondary to other conditions, psychological diagnosis and treatments are under development. It is becoming increasingly clear that these forms of mass hysteria are more common than previously thought.
The phenomenon is often, but not always, associated with occult belief, such as witchcraft. These panics frequently, but not exclusively, occur in places where access to education—particularly in science and human biology—is limited, or otherwise restricted (for example, when government policies restrict such education). Others have been reported under the influence of drug use. (Compare with castration anxiety.)

These uneducated men are suffering from Penis panic. they are afraid that if left alone their penis' will up and disappear. Poof gone. They are very attached to their penis' they feel their penis is their power. It is their man hood embodied in a fleshy organ.
They should be and would be more scared if they knew that the loss of their penis would mean the loss of a seat in heaven. That is right your penis is your ticket to heaven

Penis Panic In religion
Gen 17:14
Any uncircumcised male who has not been circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin will be cut off from his people – he has failed to carry out my requirement.”

Why "cut off" and "circumcised" are in the same sentence i do not know, but it scares me.
None the less What the lord is saying treat ones self as a temple, be prepared to receive the lord and keep clean the temple of the lord.

Deu 23:1
A man with crushed or severed genitals may not enter the assembly of the Lord.

The lord wants a man to be a man and a woman to be a woman.
The lord does not want us to be committing sacrilege or adultery. He wants us to respect our privates and the privates of others.

Deu 25:11
If two men get into a hand-to-hand fight, and the wife of one of them gets involved to help her husband against his attacker, and she reaches out her hand and grabs his genitals, 25:12 then you must cut off her hand – do not pity her.

Do not be touching the genitals of another man that is not your husband. Do not disgrace and embarrass another man other than your husband.

Penis Panic In society

Boys running around with their shit stained underwear showing. These pants are down to the point it looks uncomfortable to walk and now they are holding up their pants by holding onto their packages.
Some how they think this looks attractive to the ladies. Guys women are into clothes right? They are into looking good? They are into getting the right attraction drawn to them right? Then why would they want to be seen with you and your pants falling down?

Eze 23:20
She lusted after their genitals – as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.

1Sa 18:25
Saul replied, “Here is what you should say to David: ‘There is nothing that the king wants as a price for the bride except a hundred Philistine foreskins, so that he can be avenged of his enemies.’” (Now Saul was thinking that he could kill David by the hand of the Philistines.)

The king thought the David could not accomplish such a goal and thus be killed trying to collect the items to marry the kings daughter. Now isn't this normal of a father he wants his daughter to be beautiful and desirable but he does not want to let her wed.

1Sa 18:27
when David, along with his men, went out and struck down two hundred Philistine men. David brought their foreskins and presented all of them to the king so he could become the king’s son-in-law. Saul then gave him his daughter Michal in marriage.

Explains why young men walk around holding their packages.

Civilized world, progressive societies, and science are Marginalizing the penis. The man's penis is no longer a useful appendage much like the appendix and the gall bladder. Kind of like how Mr. Jones thinks of his liver.
Gene splicing will replace natural selection. natural selection was there to improve the species, the strongest males got the most women and thus the strongest genes were carried on but now with gene splicing here is no need to evaluate partners just have science splice out the weak (or the poor) and the world will beco0me a new place in just a few generations.
Cloning is also a threat to procreation and linage survival. if you got good stock then why waste time with sex and pregnancy just add a couple of cells and electricity and velioa. New human same human who cares? It is a human. Now sequestered in a lab we can train it the way we want and remove all the messy things like free will, free thought, and ethics. No god? No fear of killing.
Artificial insemination why transmit diseases when sperm and egg can be brought together with turkey baste (I know obvious but it is my sermon). No need again for the penis and the messy bumping and grinding and emotions that go with the penis. They are just men they do not care they do not have emotions. blah, blah blah, puke spew.

This hatred for the penis is a trend. This desire to obscure the need for the penis is a move that I can hear the chanting on the whore-izon "Attack that penis" "Attack that penis" "Attack that penis"
The government knows the score, they have placed stop measures to thwart the penis it is called EOE equal opportunity employment. That is right, they say that corporations need to hire a certain number of women or they will be penalized for discrimination. This law alone has created corporate Koro. Companies are now looking specifically to hire women so they can appear to be more diverse.
talk to anybody who has spent anytime around women in the workplace and they will agree that women can be mean petty bullies, castrating any man at the first chance by screaming harassment. Once that card is played all bets are off and the women are in charge.
Women in the workplace (ratio shows that women are mean petty criminals)

Killing the penis and killing god are the main agenda of any modern society.
There are companies that are focused on creating Synthetic life. They can not copyright known life so they have to create it. We would not have the knowledge if god did not want us to do it. God did not want us to eat the apple but we did it. No woman did that she was jealous of the penis. Eve had penis envy and thought that eating the apple would give her a penis and instead she ruined the garden. HMMMMM
If successful proves that god did not have a hand in our creation it was a statistical anomaly how does that sound?? Instead of god we are here because of a cosmic roll of the protein dice and oh shit look what we have now.
No god would create a whole new set of rules in life why should i drive the speed limit and why should I not shoot others is there is no real repercussion. It all comes down to a reward over risk equation. We balance the weights and decide. If there is no consequence for this action then pass the ammunition!

Penis Panic??
Really do you think this is a hysteria condition or maybe the entire world and the direction of society is striking a cord deep in the male psyche. Somehow we are in touch with and in commune with the world as a whole and some how we know that the world is out to take our penis away?
You penis hating women watch your shit you all may win but deep down inside you know that you need the penis. you need the strength and the power it is the balance of the world order old and new. the penis is the way. it is the way to the assembly of god it is the way of the future.
You man marginalizing feminists, your day will come, because one day you will need the killer of dinosaurs and the bringer of food and fire and then where will you be? Where indeed? All great advances in the world and progress came from the penis. But do not be mistaken there was a woman driving that penis. We are a team. You can not do it with out us for long. You will be sorry when you have killed the last penis.

Be careful what you wish for you might get it.

Why am i talking so great about the penis? The boys are feeling castrated due to the weekly boxing matches between the boys and the girls. It seems that the girls champion has whooped so much boy ass that they called for testing. She came back NF (normal female) on the chrome test and steroid free on the blood test. You all need to get your shit together and figure it out. All of man kind is relying on you.

Fruits and vegetables are in the commons for the every one curtsey of the "Single Christians Against Bar hook ups" and the Knights of Acrimony.
Go in peace and do not kill each other in the parking lot.

Currently reading
Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007

10 Random things about myself

2008-01-15T06:58:00.000-08:00

I was challenged by Cupid Kinky Boots to write 10 things and since i cannot rhythm worth a crap this week end here you go
1.)I am a real Reverend/Minister Ordained in the Universal life church.
2.)I am author of three books Viva la chicken (a hand written book that was lost in one of three historic moves), Like a monkey With A Handgun, Roadkill (banned in most countries under the animal cruelty laws)
3.)I have moved three times due to witness relocation
4.)I have caused more trouble than i can say (until the statute of limitations has been reached)
5.)I am married i love to be married others make comments that being married sucks but i do not
6.)I used to smoke and now i run a mile
7.)I umpire youth ball-bat sports games (and enjoy it!). I enjoy the conflict and stress.
8.)I like heavy metal, punk, industrial, pop,
9.)My death does not scare me. the death of a loved one scares the shit outta me and what my death will do to those that i love scares me.
10.) I hate cats.

In the darkest depths of myself I have a monster.

2008-01-08T08:16:00.000-08:00

In the darkest depths of myself I have a monster. This monster is the alter ego of yours truly. When rage anger and hate well up into the back of my throat and choke out any resemblance of reason and logic. The monster comes to life.
This is the time the monster bursts into my gray matter ravaging and screaming about the injustices that have befallen me over the course of my terrible rotten life.
This beast puffs and bellows to the point that all real vision is obscured and eclipsed. I begin to operate on "the force" I can not really see any more but I can "feel" the world around me.
My senses go on crimson alert. I hear every child being abused, I hear every women being hit. My whole body is aflame and I very calmly beat the living shit out of people.
I say calmly because they can "tap" out. They can feign unconsciousness and they have the option to not get up.
For some reason they think they should keep moving, they feel that at some point they will get the upper hand. They are wrong. Christ they are wrong. And when I am done they will know they were wrong for weeks and weeks.
Just such an episode occurred yesterday at the mall.
I was shopping for a pair of umpire pants heather grey with a nice cuff. They were going to be my field pants for when I do the bases so I can look a bit sharper. The season is starting in a few weeks
I was heading to Sears and I was passing a gentleman and his wife, who was crying, he turned and grabbed her arm real hard like and yelled at her through clenched teeth.
As he turned back into a forward position I slammed into his shoulder.
“Oops sorry.” I said.
“Watch where you are going asshole!”
“Now listen here you fucking piece of shit, you fucking retard with a small dick I said I was sorry”
“What did you say?”
“I said that you were a retard, you had a small dick, and I said you were a piece of shit and that I was sorry.” The biggest smile on my face.
He swung, I ducked and came up with an upper cut to the solar plexus, just below the breast bone, I felt my fist embed into the abdomen and he lifted off his feet and then fell.
I said “Do not get up. I will have to defend myself.”
He got up and said I am going to beat your ass.
No you are not and I began to box his forehead, his nose and his left cheek.
I jabbed and crossed and jabbed some more. I would stop and step back. He would totter and then he would lunge at me.
And I would do this again.
On the second lunge he more like fell on me and I threw an arm into the crotch and the left over his shoulder and I picked him up and slammed him to the ground.
He stopped moving his chest heaving and his woman crying.
She dropped to his side, "Richard oh Richard are you ok?" then she looked at me and said "What is your problem? He did nothing to you"
“What did you miss the part where he swung at me?"
“So? You did not have to beat him up.”
“Hey lady he gave him every opportunity to step down.” Came from some guy behind me.
I looked and there was a considerable crowd gathering.
“Fuck it and fuck you bitch” and I turned to go.
The crowd looked at me and at first was not going to part but I made a motion like I was going to charge and they jumped, what a bunch of sheep.
You see I have a monster in me. I like this monster and I enjoy visiting with the monster now and again.
I enjoy the buzz I get from touching the emotions that feed it. Why?? I do not know. Some freaks like pain. Some freaks like to inflict pain. There are some that like to see food being destroyed by pretty feet. I knew a guy that liked to wax his whole body and wear women’s undergarments. I like to get very angry. I do not have to beat anyone. I can just get enraged and enjoy the hot flush that covers my body. The heat that burns in my chest. Hell maybe I am a freak too. But who cares. Not you! And not anyone else.
Hate, anger, and rage is my porn, what is yours??

Currently reading

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007

The Weakness of Other Gods By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2007-12-28T07:44:00.000-08:00

I was at the downtown outdoor mall that is on MLK Blvd. I was walking by the old movie theater that is now just a burnt out shell of a build that probably smells of urine and cooking heroin.
When by chance I walked by a soapbox preacher, I, being one that enjoys a good evangelizing stopped and listened to this man prophesize and posture in the name of the lord.
He had maybe 3 bums tottering on the brink of passing out face down on the concrete and an empty guitar box open exposing the worn red velvet. I believe was expecting hand outs for the passersby but they all wanted to stay clear of the one toothless bum that looked like he was about to puke into the case.

Deu 32:26
"I said, 'I want to cut them in pieces. I want to make people forget they ever existed.

He spoke of the END OF THE WORLD and how the end times were upon us. Screaming to passersby, asking if they were prepared for the great rapture.
He wailed about how the anti-Christ is among us right now in their very city. Just two blocks away.
Now this was good stuff. I wanted to know who the anti-Christ was maybe I could make an appointment with him and whoop his ass once before the end of the world came.

Deu 32:27
But I fear the reaction of their enemies, for their adversaries would misunderstand and say, "Our power is great, and the Lord has not done all this!"'

Deu 32:28
They are a nation devoid of wisdom, and there is no understanding among them.

As that would be the match of the all eternity. Reverend John Sleestaxx whoops the ass of the Satan's son. He has already made Satan cry numerous times on the ball field. Why not his son?
The preacher then rambled on about the quotes in the bible on tithe and taxes, and tributes to the lord.
And there it was a hand full of change dropped into the case by a smartly dressed business man in a hurry.
The bums seemed to break out of their trance just as the coin hit the velvet, like a victim wakes when the hypnotist snaps his fingers.
They looked around and at the preacher as he just looked up at the benefactor to thank him.
The bums reached down and started to steal the money. I was about to step up when the preacher kicked out his foot and connected with the head of one of the hobos.
The hobo yelped and cried out and the other two ran like school girls.
The money still in the case and the smelly hobos gone he turned his attention to me.

Deu 32:29
I wish that they were wise and could understand this, and that they could comprehend what will happen to them."

Deu 32:30
How can one man chase a thousand of them and two pursue ten thousand; unless their Rock had delivered them up, and the Lord had handed them over?

He looked at me and said, "You there, are you not going to pay your tithe?"
I stepped closer and said "Why tithe to your case when I have a whole flock that tithes to me?"
Tell me the name of the anti-Christ and I shall help your cause.
As I got close for a real conversation I realized I did not want to get too close.
He is an alien from space and he hides in the capitol building, protected by the government.
Shit I thought he had something there for a minute.

Deu 32:31
For our enemies' rock is not like our Rock, as even our enemies concede.

Deu 32:32
For their vine is from the stock of Sodom, and from the fields of Gomorrah. Their grapes contain venom, their clusters of grapes are bitter.

He smelled of thunderbird and rotten teeth. He had fleas in his beard.
He grabbed me and told me I was going to hell.
I laughed and said no I am not going to hell and that you sir are crazy and smelly. Get away from me.

Deu 32:33
Their wine is snakes' poison, the deadly venom of cobras.

Deu 32:34
"Is this not stored up with me?" says the Lord "Is it not sealed up in my storehouses?

He said that I was a sinner and that I had to repent on the evilness of my ways.
I smacked him flat upside the head with my pimp hand and bible.
He staggered and fell to his knees.
I did not see it but he reached into his waist band and pulled out a knife and charged me.

Deu 32:35
I will get revenge and pay them back at the time their foot slips; for the day of their disaster is near, and the impending judgment is rushing upon them!"

Deu 32:36
The Lord will judge his people, and will change his plans concerning his servants; when he sees that their power has disappeared, and that no one is left, whether confined or set free.

My reaction when I saw the silver glint in his hand was to bring up my bible in two hands. Just in time the bible intercepted the blade and flesh connection and the blade plunged all the way through the book and stopped with 1 inch of the Pakistani metal tip sticking out.
I looked and saw that this fuck had ruined another bible. He had cut the word of the lord while trying to cut the speaker of the lord's word.

Deu 32:37
He will say, "Where are their gods, the rock in whom they sought security,

Deu 32:38
who ate the best of their sacrifices, and drank the wine of their drink offerings? Let them rise and help you; let them be your refuge!

I twisted the good book and the knife came free of his hand. I brought my right back across his face and he cried out in pain.
I pulled the knife from the bible and let it fall to the ground and I began to beat the preacher on top of the head with the spine of my King James Bible.
Over and over I brought the good word down upon his head screaming for him to repent and pray for salvation. He dropped to his knees some more and fell silent.
I began to kick him in the ribs until I heard on crack.
The man was not going to give in.
Finally as my foot began to hurt he said oh lord why, why have you forsaken me?
I said that is the wrong god you are worshiping, a lesser lord and cheap imitation of the true lord our god.
You must now see the real god and I lift him to his feet. He reached out and grabbed my hand.
And bit me!
The fucker bit me.
Man I must have beat on his ass for another 10 minutes before he began to plead for the lord to save him.
My arms were tired

Isa 57:10
Because of the long distance you must travel, you get tired, but you do not say, 'I give up.' You get renewed energy, so you don't collapse.

But they were not too tired to take him up into my arms and welcome him to the lord's light, the lord's love.
He wept on my shoulder and wailed that he was not worthy of the love that was bestowed upon him for he had worshiped the wrong gods. He had listened to prophesies of the weaker gods and now realized that he had been preaching the wrong words to the people everyday at lunch.
He realized the error of his ways and immediately began to plan his atonement.
he was to begin telling everyone the truth. He was going to tell everyone the lord that he saw and that the end times are not the concern and that the righteous must know the true and stronger god that he has now found.
He was to tell every one of the prophet that was Sleestaxx and the great brutal teachings that I bestowed upon him.
He was going to tell everyone that I have a message for everyone that everyone must see me.
I have a message for all of humanity.
You are all evil. God knows you are evil. You know you are evil. You will always be evil if you do not listen to the messages that I bring to you. The lord has chosen me to communicate the message. He has heaped upon my shoulders the most laborious and heaviest of burdens. That is the burden of saving your evil souls. It is my responsibility to bring you all out of the darkness. Protect you from evil and lead you to greener pastures.
And you all just do not help. You do not listen. You think that Thursdays and Sundays are all you have to do. But you need to help me help you. I need you all evangelize. if you can not evangelize then I need you to point them to me. Promote me. Buy my book for yourself and a friend. Tell everyone you meet to get in the game, step up to the plate, play to win.
The Doughnuts and coffee are courtesy of the old ladies that sit around the chapel all week ling to listen to the gossip and the prayers of the rest of you.
Kill each other in the parking lot for all I care because you all act like fucking children at this time of the day.
Fuck off and amen.

Currently reading

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007

Our World Is Going To Hell In A Hand Basket By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2007-12-21T05:19:00.000-08:00

The Basket Is Labeled MTV

Our society is under siege. Our defenses are tuned to the wrong enemy. While we fight for our country and our security and what we hold near and dear our future is being attacked.
The enemy is right inside of our houses and the center point of many of our lives.
I am talking about the television and the content that is on the television. Our future is our children and they are under attack every minute of every day while they are watching television. I see it everyday when I am plagued with nightmares. I see it everyday when I turn on the television just to get the news of the day and the weather.
I see it when I see 12 year old girls dressed like hookers and whores and the boys dressed like they live in the ghetto. Mind you these clothes look like ghetto but they are clean and expensive name brands but none the less they wear the shit baggy and loose and they strut like the shit heads that rap.
The kids do nothing but look for things that make them happy. The kids today think they are the most important thing and their happiness is more important.

2Ti 3:4
treacherous, reckless, conceited, loving pleasure rather than loving God.

Eze 11:2
The Lord said to me, “Son of man, these are the men who plot evil and give wicked advice in this city.

I would like to talk about the sinners at MTV. The pretentious sinners of MTV. The perpetrators of sin propaganda and brainwashers of our youth. The world is going to hell in a hand basket and the basket is labeled MTV. MTV displays near nudity and alternative life styles. As if these are normal things in the world. The broadcast station purports that loose sexual morals are cool, hip, and that only the smart cool kids are having sex. And to be right in the universe and to be accepted is to have sex with as many people as possible and as often as you can.

Jer 23:14
But I see the prophets of Jerusalem doing something just as shocking. They are unfaithful to me and continually prophesy lies. So they give encouragement to people who are doing evil, with the result that they do not stop their evildoing. I consider all of them as bad as the people of Sodom and the citizens of Jerusalem as bad as the people of Gomorrah.

MTV and the rest of television content for that matter is teaching every one of our young people, you know the ones that will be in charge of our world very shortly, that everyone is gay and everyone wants to be gay and that being gay is ok.

1Co 6:9
Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! The sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, passive homosexual partners, practicing homosexuals,

They say that you should live in a strange city, with very dysfunctional people, and have your dysfunctional life and personal drama splayed out for the world to see. You should have sex with you house mates and that is ok. you should drink to the point of poisoning and throw up and then fight with your housemates. MTV shows videos that purports that is cool to be a pimp or a girl with loose morals. It is the way of the world to be a criminal and carry a gun.

1Ti 1:10
sexually immoral people, practicing homosexuals, kidnappers, liars, perjurers – in fact, for any who live contrary to sound teaching.

Why just last week I saw a teenager in my neighborhood walking the street like he was a gangster in the city. He had a paper bag in his hand and this bag was not like a bag he had just got from shopping at the gas station, this bag was well worn and the object inside was too small to be a porno mag like when I was young.
I knew where he lived as I had cut his lawn for many summers and watched this spoiled middle class punk grow up. I had spoken to father and mother many times. I knew they worked hard to keep their young from being exposed to bad influences.
I stopped got out of my truck. I asked him what was in the bag and where did he live.
Yes I was confronting a middle class gangster wanna be.
He took the posture of a rap singer posing for a CD cover.
He told me "That is none of your business old man". "I do not have to tell you anything."
I stepped to him and I said, “Son tell me what you are doing on this middle class street pretending to be a gang member.”
“I ain't pretending you old fart.”

Ecc 7:10
Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these days?” for it is not wise to ask that.

“Yeah ok your parents are filing a 1040a with a combined income of 80k or better and you want to tell me know about oppression and being poor?"
“Just tell me you ain't got a gun in bag and I will not tell your daddy what a moron you are.”
He gets very agitated and says "you think I got a gun in here man? is that it? Well you better step before I put you under."
I stepped closer
I was now in striking distance
I reached out, and bitch slapped his ass and he staggers back. I do not think he has ever been hit in his life. he just stood there and looked at me in total shock. Trying to comprehend the last moment.

Num 22:29
And Balaam said to the donkey, “You have made me look stupid; I wish there were a sword in my hand, for I would kill you right now.”

I reached down took the bag from him.
Yeah there was the .38 pistol fully loaded. This stupid middle class spoiled punk was holding a gun in a bag on a quiet suburban street.
I smacked him again "What are you doing? Are you protecting your turf from the Chinese mafia?? What?” I yelled into his face, “Are you worried that your hoes were going to get the wandering eye?"
“Are you dealing heron, smack, horse, china white and you are worried about some crazy strung out junkie jumping you for your stash??”
I smacked him again and he held his face and began to cry. Clearly this dumb piece of shit had never been hit in his life.
"Go tell your daddy I have his gun and to come see me."
Stupid fucking kids.

Jer 51:17
All idolaters will prove to be stupid and ignorant. Every goldsmith will be disgraced by the idol he made. For the image he forges is merely a sham. There is no breath in any of those idols.

MTV's shows have young adults in various stages of undress touching and gyrating and simulating sex. They have fat over the hill singers stumbling over stage. They have plastic Jews telling stupid moronic jokes to propped up drunken slobs from the entertainment industry.
They portray the life of young Americans as nothing but a fucking party. It is no wonder that foreigners hate us and talk about us like we are idiots. if it is wet stick it in and worry not about any consequences. "Just Do It."
There was no fucking party when I grew up! And I know there was not fucking party when you grew up either.

Neh 6:9
All of them were wanting to scare us, supposing, “Their hands will grow slack from the work, and it won’t get done.” So now, strengthen my hands!

Every real life problem can be distilled and solved in 30 mins from drug addiction to sex addition. It takes a life time to crawl from the gutter to the sidewalk to a house. It takes a life time to realize that your mother does not love you. It takes a life time to come to terms with the evil that has been thrusted on you.
Sometimes it takes longer. There are people that I know from long ago that are still in the mess they call life. It can not be taken care with a few well placed jokes and catch phrases.

Hos 10:13
But you have plowed wickedness; you have reaped injustice; you have eaten the fruit of deception. Because you have depended on your chariots; you have relied on your many warriors.

[Showing my middle finger] FUCK YOU MTV!
[Showing my middle finger] FUCK YOU!

Jer 5:27
Like a cage filled with the birds that have been caught, their houses are filled with the gains of their fraud and deceit. That is how they have gotten so rich and powerful.

[Showing my middle finger] FUCK YOU Entertainment tonight!
[Showing my middle finger] FUCK YOU Music industry!
[Showing my middle finger] FUCK YOU Hollywood
[Showing my middle finger] FUCK YOU Real Life!
Nothing fucking real about that show other than the stupidity and moronic actions of the youth that are being exploited.
MTV reports that everybody is in need of surgical perfection regardless of the danger. That you are not right until you have had half a dozen surgeries to correct the perfection that god made.

2Th 2:10
and with every kind of evil deception directed against those who are perishing, because they found no place in their hearts for the truth so as to be saved.

People die everyday from surgery and everyday someone watches television and decide they could look better if they had surgery. People die everyday pimping, dealing, whoring, and being a gangster but everyday MTV tells our youth that it is cool to do these things
I would like to hear tales of how the dogs of the south and the hounds of hell descended and copulated with the dead bodies of MTV producers, writers and directors.

Jer 22:17
But you are always thinking and looking for ways to increase your wealth by dishonest means. Your eyes and your heart are set on killing some innocent person and committing fraud and oppression.

I would like to see MTV setup up a reality show following a few junkies and whores around the city trying to scrape a living and an existence. Maybe follow a drug dealer to a turf war and watch his body twitch and jerk as his blood ran onto the street.
How about following a couple of runaways and see the twisted ways they are made to keep alive on the street.

Pro 12:24
The diligent person will rule, but the slothful will become a slave.

I want to thank everyone who has helped in the building of the youth center. I want to thank everyone for the wonderful donations to furnish the center. I want to thank the single mothers group for the house cleaning they provide the rectory and the church.
I want to thank the women’s auxiliary for the coffee and donuts that are waiting for us in the foyer.
I would like to thank the choir for the lovely singing they provided today.
And I would like to thank Demarini for the baseball bat sponsorship.
Please honk in the parking lot so that I may test my new bats.

Go in peace and love they neighbor

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx
Release date: By 3 December, 2007..

Seven Deadly Sins: Envy By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2007-12-14T04:42:00.000-08:00

Mar 7:22 adultery, greed, evil, deceit, debauchery, envy, slander, pride, and folly.

Today I am going to tell a story and talk about envy.

Jam 3:14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfishness in your hearts, do not boast and tell lies against the truth.

Envy is like greed as they are the wanton desire for something. Greed is just the desire to have material things, but envy is the desire to have something that someone has because the person feels inadequate without the item.
Wars are started over this and the other sins. One nation looks to the east and sees that his neighbor gets to see the sun before he does and he thinks that makes his neighbor more prosperous and the idiot masses an army and they march east to fight for the rising sun. How fucking retarded is that? The can not own the sun and they will always have someone who sees the sun before they do.
Some countries may not go to war but they will artificially drag down the economy of another so that the difference between the companies is not so grand.

Pro 6:18 a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift to run to evil,

The Texas mom who wanted to have her daughter on the cheerleading squad killed the mother of another so that her baby could break an ankle and show her panties to the entire football team and spectators.
Bizarre shit for envy I tell you.

2Co 12:20 For I am afraid that somehow when I come I will not find you what I wish, and you will find me not what you wish. I am afraid that somehow there may be quarreling, jealousy, intense anger, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorder.

Families are torn asunder over envy.
Someone came to me last month and told me "my family wants to keep up with the neighbors. They ridicule me and say that I am a failure because I can not proived liek their friends do"
How said is that?? I have had that family in for special counseling sessions and trust me when I tell you that the worst to convert was the daughter. She needed the certain cell phone and the certain car and the certain clothing label.
In the end I told that church member to shave the daughter's head. Her envious ways would change as she would just desire a normal hair cut. And every time she said I need what so-in-so has to beat her and shave her head.
I need not name any names but we can just look around and see whom I speak of. Hey baby how are you today.

Pro 6:19 a false witness who pours out lies,

The thugs on the street want to keep up with the famous rappers that came from good homes but pretend to be from crime.
They are envious of the pretend life of money women and things that are portrayed on television in the rap videos. They do not understand that these things are just things and mostly things that are rented for the production of the movie. The big busted girls in bikinis are actresses paid to be in the video. None of the players in the video knew each other the day before the shooting started.

Lucifer's desire to be like god, and to control humans is what got his ass kicked out of heaven. Lucifer was envious of gods power and tried top usurp it. God got sick of Lucifer’s shit and cast him down from heaven.

In sports we see it all time Bond's desire to be like the other baseball greats. Caused him to maybe partake of some synthetic body modifications so that he could be like the greats and now he may end in the book as the greatest failure of all. Anything he accomplishes now is diminished by the perception that he cheated. What a dumb twit. But well there is another example of how stupid one becomes when gripped by the sinful emotion of jealousy.

At work we all know the guy that is jealous of the other successful employee and in his envious ways he sabotages the work of the other. This not only hurts the company but also both of the employees.

Another church was envious of our church and caused the construction of the main hall to stop. They sent parishners in the night to strip parts off equipment and to cause bank and government approvals to slow. One parishners was caught redoing work so that the building inspection would fail or the church would collapse.
I finally confronted the priest and we hashed out the problem and he found that he was infected with the sin of envy and he was very apologetic.
He then talked his parishners in assisting our contractor in any capacity possible.

Pro 49:18 He pronounces this blessing on himself while he is alive: “May men praise you, for you have done well!”

We as older folk need to be sure that our envy-ness of the young does not precipitate in discrimination and wrongful judging of the youth. Because the youth is young and pretty does not mean that they are better than us the older folk. We are older and smarter and wiser as we have made the mistakes and the youth do not listen to our wisdom. Let us sit back and enjoy the fact we have more to offer than the youth. The youth should be envious of us and that is the truth.

Gal 5:20 idolatry, sorcery, hostilities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish rivalries, dissensions, factions,

Women and men are envious of each other. Men envious that women are perceived as having an easier time in life as they are women and they have the pooty but the truth is that because they have the pooty and most men are envious they have a harder time.
Women are envious of a man's penis. The penis, no matter how ugly it is a sign of strength and power. The penis looks like a sword for a reason. Gods wanted men to be strong and in control of the environment.
But even though women are not expected to be fighter’s and to go to war they are still envious of the penis.
I was umpiring a softball game one summer night and there was a female coach on a team and you could tell that she did not like men. Her attitude was all about you disgust me, you are invading what I perceive to be a girl’s sport and no men should be allowed to participate.
Well during the game there was a banger on third. My female partner rings the player out. I saw the whole play my angle was no better and no worse than anybody else’s and I thought good call. I also thought man I am glad I did not have to make that call because holy shit there is going to be a pissed off coach no matter how the call goes.
The male coach comes out and approaches me.

Gal 5:26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, being jealous of one another.

Did you see the call? What the hell is she thinking? That runner was safe by a mile. Aren’t you going to do something?
Yes coach I am. I am going to tell you to talk to the official that made the call AFTER you ask for time and she gives you time. Until then get back to your dugout.
What?
Yes now either turn to go back to the dug out or turn to leave the field you have two places to go.
He went to the dug asked for time I looked to my partner she said "time".
The coach now walks all the way to the umpire and starts to yell. My partner says "coach you need to stop yelling".
The coach still yells.
She turns and starts to walk away.
This is my queue to step up and make the coach leave. He did not proceed correctly. And now he was dangerously in bad territory.
I get about half the distance and he sees me and he turns and starts to his dugout and now the female coach says "I knew he did not have the balls to keep going".
Holy shit the other coach turned and charges the female coach. He comes up and stops short in her face and starts to yell about how she needs to mind her own business and how all the dykes stick together.
At that the female coach reaches up and pokes him in the eye with her fist. And before the coach can get his hand to his eye, a knee is jammed into his crotch and he drops.

Gal 5:21 envying, murder, drunkenness, carousing, and similar things. I am warning you, as I had warned you before: Those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God!

I get there and step in between the two my partner bends to the coach to help him up and as he is getting up my partner whispers that’s what you get for having a prick you dick!
I thought I was going to burst.
The coach looked at me and asked, "Did you hear that?"
Yeah I heard her ask if you were ok which I thought was very nice of her since you were so rude.
Now get off the field or forfeit
And I turned to the female coach and she just nodded because she knew that she was gone also.
We finished a 4 ITB game and the coaches stood next one another in the parking lot watching the game.
The point is the demon Leviathan will sweep in fast and make you stupid before you know it and then holy crap you are stuck with a sack of shit and a stupid look.
The little league has asked me to tell every one that they are having their annual umpire clinic this January and February and anybody wanting to umpire and maybe make a little extra cash should contact them for specific dates.
I would also like t thank all of the regular attendees and subscribers.
I also would like to mention that my second book “With A Mouth Full Of Razorblades” is to be released January 15th in three languages English, German, and French. As always purchases through my Blog will get the book delivered directly from me with an autograph saying just about anything you want.
There are a few copies of “Like A Monkey With A Handgun” left and the same goes for purchases through the Blog.
Cake and coffee is in the foyer. Go get some! And go in peace!

Satan Came to my door today

2007-12-06T08:49:00.000-08:00

I answered the door and there was Satan. He wanted to talk to the lady of the house about her choice of laundry detergent.
I told him that she was not home and that he should not come back.
He then stated that the laminated card clipped to his breast pocket allowed him the opportunity to harass and manipulate the fine citizens of my

neighborhood.
I said really? Hold on one second fucktard.
and I went to the closet to get my chainsaw, (What where do you keep yours?)
I began to step in his direction and told him that this two stroke, 5 horse power cutting device allows me the oppurtunity to cut his pecker off and that I

was going to put his cut off pecker in my family bible.

Whoa hold on Mr. Sleestaxx.
That is Reverend To you Satan.
OK Rev. But I still need to talk to your wife.
No sir you need to step the fuck off my porch before I cut your penis off with this here chainsaw.
Look Rev. I am just trying to sell some cleaner door to door
I too sell cleaners. I sell cleaners for the soul. I clean sins from souls.
I beat the dirt from the minds of the sinners and mortals of this earth. and I do not need any of what you are selling Satan now go.
Satan began to cry. He complained that he was just missed understood and that he was just being manitpulated by god and that the good lord was using him as

a scape goat for all the bad things in life.
I said cry me a river bitch and I sent him next door and told him talk to my neighbor Henry Rollins.
Henry is a fucker. and Satan will not see it coming!

My Book Is Now Published and For Sale

2007-12-04T07:27:00.000-08:00

Like A Monkey With A Handgun
by Rev. J. Sleestaxx

With a mouthful of razorblades Reverend John Sleestaxx tells a tale of a marginalized white

male in america.

146 pages of anger and hate in a perfectly bound book.
plenty of unpublished material.
Purchased now through here and i will sign the book.

Or you can download the book here for 5.00

http://www.lulu.com/content/1547640

Behold! I Have Come To Kick Your Ass! By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2007-12-01T05:30:00.000-08:00

John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was fully God. 1:2 The Word was with God in the beginning. 1:3 All things were created by him, and apart from him not one thing was created that has been created. 1:4 In him was life, and the life was the light of mankind. 1:5 And the light shines on in the darkness, but the darkness has not mastered it.

A year ago I was asked to step into this church and speak. The congregation was 20 at most and they were mostly older women and a old man or two that has since passed on.
I began my first sermon using the sermon from John Edwards "Sinners in the hands of an angry god".
I spoke with passion and fervor. I woke some people up in the middle when I began to stomp and bang when I wanted to make a point.
Then the word started to spread. I began to tell about how I knew what it was like in the real world and the tests that put to you all. I spoke about how god did not want you all to be weak he wanted you to stand up and be men or women, but regardless stand up for yourselves. Take what is yours be assertive because the world is changing.
I had an old woman or two tell me that they were scared to leave their house because of the drug dealers. But now they were more scared of me and not showing up then they were of the thugs on their street.

John 1:6 A man came, sent from God, whose name was John. 1:7 He came as a witness to testify about the light, so that everyone might believe through him. 1:8 He himself was not the light, but he came to testify about the light. 1:9 The true light, who gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. 1:10 He was in the world, and the world was created by him, but the world did not recognize him. 1:11 He came to what was his own, but his own people did not receive him. 1:12 But to all who have received him – those who believe in his name – he has given the right to become God’s children 1:13 – children not born by human parents or by human desire or a husband’s decision, but by God.

I went to their houses and I beat the pimps and the drug dealers into believing they were going to hell. They began to come to church and the church helped them to find honest work. The church helped when the church needed to and when the church could.
The women began to tell of how much nicer the neighborhoods became when the lord took the evil off the street.
The evil that did not see the light did not stay around very long.
I heard one say they had never seen a man be so lucky that did not carry a gun.

Deu 32:26
“I said, ‘I want to cut them in pieces. I want to make people forget they ever existed.

Deu 32:27
But I fear the reaction of their enemies, for their adversaries would misunderstand and say, “Our power is great, and the Lord has not done all this!”’

Deu 32:28
They are a nation devoid of wisdom, and there is no understanding among them.

Deu 32:29
I wish that they were wise and could understand this, and that they could comprehend what will happen to them.”

Rodney "The Rod" Smith
You all remember him right??
Yeah he was the one that came to church to challenge me and he brought that Mac 10.
Do you all remember how he began to fire at me during one of my sermons and how every single bullet just disappeared the moment it left the barrel?

Deu 32:30
How can one man chase a thousand of them, and two pursue ten thousand; unless their Rock had delivered them up, and the Lord had handed them over?

Deu 32:31
For our enemies’ rock is not like our Rock, as even our enemies concede.

Do you remember the fear in his eyes when realized that the bullets were disappearing and I was coming down from the dais toward him? His posse began to shoot too and they just made noise as their bullets vaporized.
Man that was classic, he stood there locked kneed staring at me as the bullets never touched me.
And when I struck the gun from his hand with my bible, the gun made of hardened steel and carbon fiber, shattered into a million pieces.
And then I brought the bible down on his head and he fell back wailing in tongues.
His boys all fell to their knees screaming ‘how they were sorry and that’ “oh please god forgive us.”
Our congregation double that day and has increased by 10 people every Sunday since.
The crime rate in the neighbor hood has dropped and the word on the street is that god is looking over this 40 block area himself.

Deu 32:32
For their vine is from the stock of Sodom, and from the fields of Gomorrah. Their grapes contain venom, their clusters of grapes are bitter.

Deu 32:33
Their wine is snakes’ poison, the deadly venom of cobras.

Deu 32:34
“Is this not stored up with me?” says the Lord, “Is it not sealed up in my storehouses?

These thugs, pimps, and crooked policemen, and players are all worshiping false gods and false idols. They have not seen what real power can do. they can not see the lord for they are too blinded by the lies and deceit that is the drugs they do and the money they hoard.
They are too busy worrying about how to hold their place and get more, then to see the damage they are causing to the neighborhood.
The whores all believe they are innocents and their crime is a victimless crime but they do not see the rage that is god’s anger from their misdeeds. The thugs, crooked cops and Politian’s all want to be in power. They fight and kill and cheat and rob to gain power but only god can give them true power.
Just as god gave me the power walk through Rodney's bullets he gives you all the power to stand up for what is yours.
Just as he gave me the power to thump the word of god into the two cops that ran the drug rings right in front of the church. He gives you al the power to say no to the heathens that want to take what is yours away from you.
Those cops were dealing drugs right out of their squad car.
Those two tried to arrest me when I beat their runner with my bible when I caught him stealing from the basket that one Sunday.

Yeah DO NOT FUCKING STEAL FROM THE CHURCH AS I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!
They rolled up on me began to push me around and say they were going have to take me down town for questioning. I beat the shit out of them, before they could even bring out their taser. They said they were sorry and that they would no longer be dealing drugs.
I even made them clean up their own blood.
The lord wants you to stand up for yourself. Take what is yours, do not let some heathen take something from you. Do not let an opportunity pass that you could have thumped some Jesus into some sinner.

Deu 32:35
I will get revenge and pay them back at the time their foot slips; for the day of their disaster is near, and the impending judgment is rushing upon them!”

Deu 32:36
The Lord will judge his people, and will change his plans concerning his servants; when he sees that their power has disappeared, and that no one is left, whether confined or set free.

Deu 32:37
He will say, “Where are their gods, the rock in whom they sought security,

After the beatings ask them where is their god? And why did their god fail them? Tell them that their god is a pussy and their god is no match for your god and that any time anywhere your god will go toe to toe with their fucked up watered down version of a god.
Tell them God kicked Satan’s ass, god kicked your ass. And ask, “Who’s god has the better kung fu bitch?”
Yeah that is right!
Now remember sometimes the beatings must be done a couple times as the poor soul you are saving could be too blinded from the lies and deceit but eventually they will come around and they will see the light that is god's word and god's love.

Deu 32:38
who ate the best of their sacrifices, and drank the wine of their drink offerings? Let them

Deu 6:5
You must love the Lord your God with your whole mind, your whole being, and all your strength. rise and help you; let them be your refuge!

I beat therefore I am. I whip your ass in the name of god. I beat the sinners down and tattoo the word "Holy Bible" into the foreheads of the unwashed and the filthy sinners of our time.
Just as each generation of insect becomes immune to pesticide so does the sinner to god’s word. God’s word needs to be stronger every day. There is no limit to the strength and love that god has for all of his children.
Remember that and you will be better at beating the shit out of and the word into all of the sinners of the world the more you love god and the more you love and stand up for your self.
I believe that if we all bring this to our work and we bring this to the voting booths and we let the godless bastards that are our bosses know that we will no longer be meek and we will no longer be sheep shepherded by wolves. That we will now fight back and take what is ours we will have a better chance of surviving the rough and tough roads that lay ahead.
I hear that some of the married men may be taking the assistance of the single mothers too far. I am sure that this is not the case and I am sure that the married women that think this will realize their mistakes.
But should this rumor turn out to be true believe me there will be some serious ass kicking happening.
The sewing circle is holding crotchet classes fro the teen girls. they say all girls should know how to mend and sew and crotchet before they are to be married. So girls I think that you can give up one night of training to learn a more feminine skill.
I would like to say that the drug tests came back as well as the chromosome tests came back.
It appears that the girls champion is in deed a girl and has been beating the shit out of the boys for many weeks.
But I have it on good authority that this Friday will be the turning point for the boys as they have a secret weapon that has been training in secret and is ready to rumble. Come out Friday to see the boys lose or the boys take back the trophy.
No cookies, no coffee, no fucking dunking donuts, as you all can not behave in the parking lot.
Go home and think of a way to apologize to me and your neighbor.

Amen

My Teeth Are Sharp For A Reason By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2007-11-28T10:53:00.000-08:00

Anti meat eaters
I understand that you may not like the texture of meat. I understand that you may not like the feeling of chewing meat.
But to propagandize the fairness in eating non-human animals is too much!
God gave us all sharp teeth when he designed us.
We are meat eaters it was so divined in the beginning of time and space. From the moment the bacteria evolved into something then into us it was decided that we were to eat meat.
God meant us to be dominating of all the animals that is why he made us in his image

Gen 1:26 Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, after our likeness, so they may rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move on the earth.”

Gen 1:27 God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.

We are at the top of the food chain. Now I will admit that god's design did not account for fossil fuels and the like but hey at some point the design of the earth will kick in and we will be culled to a more manageable level. There is nothing that we need to do about that. It will take of itself.
But this site irks me.'
They speak of fairness to animas that if you smacked on the head would forget about it two minutes later. They were design to be food for us and the rest of the planet.
Here you go.
If humans eating animals is wrong then why do other animals eat other animals and why is that not wrong.
Simple.
Answer that and I may put my burger down.

Seven Deadly Sins: Lust By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2007-11-27T10:55:00.000-08:00

Today I would like to talk about lust.
Lust is the desire that wells in your soul so fiercely that it pushes the lord from your heart.
Lust is not just sex and sexual relations but also the desire and need to obtain or achieve something.
There are some whose lust is money and material things. Now although they are not thinking of fornicating bodies. They do not spend hours masturbating to images in their heads of hot naked sex. Jerking and rubbing their organs raw thinking of hard nude sweaty bodies, bodies licking and touching, tasting the perspiration and juices from one another in a twisted fleshy pile of carnal knowledge. Heaving and undulating, grinding and panting, slamming one body into another tearing one's soul from the other, screaming god's name and the names of a thousand other lovers as they climax and spill their seed onto one another.

Eze 23:11
“Her sister Oholibah watched this, but she became more corrupt in her lust than her sister
had been, and her acts of prostitution were more numerous than those of her sister.

But those fuckers are weird and twisted. They get off on money, they masturbate to pictures of dead presidents. They sold their soul to Satan so that they could have more material things. These material things and all things of this earth can not be taken into the kingdom of heaven. So they sold their soul for not.
Lust is a desire and the strongest desire is sex. God wanted his children to multiply and dominate the world so he created a strong sex drive.
This desire to have sex is lust. And lustful desires lead you to commit great tragic sins.
Whole operas are based on the twisted desires fueled by lust.
Entire 1 hour and 15 minute porno films are there to entice lustful feelings. Watching these films will cause your skin to inflame and your head drunk with desire. The feelings can become such that the air moving across your sweaty skin can drive you mad.

Eze 23:22
“Therefore, Oholibah, this is what the sovereign Lord says: Look here, I am about to stir
up against you the lovers with whom you were disgusted; I will bring them against you from every side:

Eze 23:36
The Lord said to me: “Son of man, are you willing to pronounce judgment on Oholah and
Oholibah? Then declare to them their abominable deeds!

When we are children our lust appears as a sweet tooth or a habit for junk food. Entire mega corporate empires are built on this lust. They inundate us and our children everyday with advertisements for junk food and candy.
Then when we grow hair and become adolescences and enter puberty we find that certain areas make us happy. Our lust changes to rubbing and touching these areas with other people’s areas.
The desire to rub with another becomes intense and an addiction. We get light headed, we begin to think unclear, and we begin to justify doing wrong things and sinful things to sedate this lust, this demon.

Exo 32:21
Moses said to Aaron, “What did this people do to you, that you have brought on them so
great a sin?”

Exo 32:30
The next day Moses said to the people, “You have committed a very serious sin, but now I will go up to the Lord – perhaps I can make atonement on behalf of your sin.”

Did you know that lust is controlled by a demon? Yes a demon! The demon’s name is Asmodeus. When you become so inflamed, so drunk with desire, you allow Asmodeus and opportunity to enter your body.
When Asmodeus enters you are no longer in control. You are now at the mercy of Satan’s harbingers of evil. Many of the children in today’s world have born because of the control of Asmodeus.
You girls here today need to watch for Asmodeus.

Exo 20:14
You shall not commit adultery.

You boys need to say no to Asmodeus.

Gen 39:10
Even though she continued to speak to Joseph day after day, he did not respond to her invitation to have sex with her.

You teenagers parking in cars need to not park in such private areas as that leaves an opportunity for Asmodeus to enter your vehicle and then you have sex!

Eze 23:8
She did not abandon the prostitution she had practiced in Egypt; for in her youth men had sex with her, fondled her virgin breasts, and ravished her.

You all are hot and dripping in sweat sex. Undulating and pressing sliding on the vinyl backseat sex. Thumping and bumping breathless panting wet sex. Grinding and pulsing nails racked across the back sex. In and out, teeth biting shoulders sex. Up and down fingers fumbling dark areas sex. Pelvic grinding pelvic like one huge fuck machine in the back seat of your daddy’s car. The two of you humping like animals with the windows fogged and the radio blaring Iron Butterfly’s “Ina-goda-da-vida”.

Col 3:5 So put to death whatever in your nature belongs to the earth: sexual immorality, impurity, shameful passion, evil desire, and greed which is idolatry.

Come to confession and confess your sins. Tell me of your sins and we will work to have you repent and have the darkness on your soul absolved.
Come to confession and tell me of you transgressions and we will work to keep Asmodeus at bay.

Exo 32:32
But now, if you will forgive their sin…, but if not, wipe me out from your book that you
have written.”

Do not let the sin of lust seal your fate. Do not get thrown into the lake of fire. For the burn you will feel from the lake will be mightier and more painful that the burn lust puts on your flesh. These lustful thoughts and feelings can be stopped. You can beat Asmodeus, you can whoop Satan’s ass just as I do everyday. But the first step is to get control of your head, your heart, and happy places.

Exo 32:34
So now go, lead the people to the place I have spoken to you about. See, my angel will go before you. But on the day that I punish, I will indeed punish them for their sin.”

There is time! [Bang On The Podium]
Now today! [Bang On The Podium]
Right this very moment stand and say “No I will not let my lust get the better of me.”
[Bang On The Podium] DO IT NOW!!!
I want every one of you all standing right now to see me, TODAY, and tell me of every moment that lust has been in control of your decisions and in control of your life. We will go over every detail and work through this together.

Rom 13:13
Let us live decently as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in discord and jealousy.

I do not care how vile, or how hot, or how perverted your tales are. We will work this out. We may have to meet more than once if your tales are long or many. But we will do this and we will get to the end. We will get relief from Asmodeus. We will vanquish the lust demon together. You do not have to do this alone.

Gen 18:20
So the Lord said, “The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so
blatant

You know which one of you needs to stand this moment. You know you have been lustful and you have been rubbing your body with another.
Even you who has been rubbing yourself in the dark under the covers, head back silently screaming with ecstasy. Your fingers wrinkled from the wetness of you perspiration and spit. Rubbing and sliding over the same nervous areas that excite you. Up and down biting your lip as you think those evil thoughts. Gasping and panting while you play those hot images in the porno theatre of your mind.

Deu 13:6
Suppose your own full brother, your son, your daughter, your beloved wife, or your
closest friend should seduce you secretly and encourage you to go and serve other gods that neither you nor your ancestors have previously known,

Torturing that spot with little slippery circles while run scenarios of hot flesh rubbing yours. You think of the taste of flesh in your mouth. You recall the tastes of your salty lovers skin on your tongue. Like your mind recalls the images of the last time your failed to restrain yourself and how the sliding of their flesh on yours raised the hairs on your neck. Your fingers move faster as the images are played faster. Your breath quickens and you kick the covers off because the heat in the sheets is too much and your skin is aflame with desire for relief. Relief is coming, you know it is coming, but you want to wait just a little longer as your brain boil with images of naked people melting into more naked people. Your lust is mounting and you can no longer hold the tide. Your body shakes as waves of lustful pleasure roll over you.
Yeah you know who you are. You too need to come see me. We need to talk.

Exo 32:30
The next day Moses said to the people, “You have committed a very serious sin, but now I will go up to the Lord – perhaps I can make atonement on behalf of your sin.”

I want you all to think about how any times you invite Asmodeus into your lives. How many times does the television invite Asmodeus into your lives? What foods and what images are the ones that trigger the lustful thoughts. I know of a man that literately looses all control when he sees his wife vacuum. Seems simple enough but think about how many days there are and how many rooms there are in a house. Now think about how many times Asmodeus can get his wife to vacuum. Yeah that is what I am talking about. Asmodeus is a powerful demon but I know with confession and counseling we can turn this demon back and send him back to hell!

Gen 20:9
Abimelech summoned Abraham and said to him, “What have you done to us? What sin did I commit against you that would cause you to bring such great guilt on me and my kingdom? You have done things to me that should not be done!”

I am here to hear your sins. I am here to counsel your transgressions. I am here.
The teen center is near completion but Satan himself must have a hold on the contractor because that fucker has held up construct for the past two weeks. I would like the knights and the men under 30 to go visit this shit head at the construction shack tomorrow morning. Now I am not saying that you should beat the shit out of him but I think that if he knew the force I command beside god’s he may step up the pace.
Now let us turn to our neighbor and shake their hand. Tell them that you are not worthy to be nest to them because you are going to go out into the parking lot and act the ass.

Amen

Panhandling the lord By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2007-11-16T12:01:00.000-08:00

I was in the corner store to buy some beer and chips. While I was in the store a bum had walked in. The bum looked at me and said hey father help brother out. I looked him in the eye and “If I was your father I could not be your brother unless I had incestuous relations with my mother"

Deu 27:22
‘Cursed is the one who has sexual relations with his sister, the daughter of either his father or mother.’ Then all the people will say, ‘Amen!’

There are many of you all that know that just could not be possible given the ill will and hatred that my mother brings out
No no padre that is not what I meant.
Hey you get out of my store. The clerk jabbered at the bum I told you to stay away. You have no money and you are just looking to steal from me.
I looked at the bum and I asked, “Is that true?”
Do you steal from this man??
The bum looked at me with embarrassment and nodded.

Jer 7:9
You steal. You murder. You commit adultery. You lie when you swear on oath. You sacrifice to the god Baal. You pay allegiance to other gods whom you have not previously known.

Oba 1:5
“If thieves came to rob you during the night, they would steal only as much as they wanted! If grape pickers came to harvest your vineyards, they would leave some behind for the poor! But you will be totally destroyed!

“Sir do not steal from this man any more. Are you a citizen of this country??”
He nodded
I said, “Then good come by the church tonight and every night for the next week and we will feed you.”
“But father it is not food or shelter that I steal it is liquor.

Hos 4:18
They consume their alcohol, then engage in cult prostitution; they dearly love their shameful behavior.

“Sir I can not help you with your liquor problem. Only you and god can conquer.
You have to want to quit to quit.”
He straightened up and began yell at me about how he was a vet and how he served our country and bla bla bla.
I hit him in the eye and he stopped. He stepped to me and I hit him again.
Abdul began to yell and scream, “No John do not do this in here again.”
The other people looked at the clerk and then looked at me.
The bum stepped up and I clocked him so hard he fell back. I stepped up and thumped him again with the spine of my bible across the bridge of his nose he fell out the doors and the clerk was just yelling and yelling.
The lady at the counter to buy the lotto tickets started screaming for Abdul to make a call to the police and he looked at her then me and just put up his hands.
The lady grabbed her cell and I leapt back at her, took the phone and said, “There is no need for the police as I am a man of the cloth and I answer to a higher law that what the donut moochers represent.”

Exo 24:12
1 The Lord said to Moses, “Come up to me to the mountain and remain there, and I will give you the stone tablets with the law and the commandments that I have written, so that you may teach them.”

She looked at me and the will of god just washed over her and she wet herself right there.
I turned back the vagabond and he was just starting to come around and walk to the door. I kicked the doors with such force that the swung wide into the hobo's face and the glass shattered
The bum began to cry and whimper but not in an apologetic way just a frustrated little kid way.
“Sir, do you repent and ask the lord to fill your heart with his love and to take the desire to drink away from you?”
“Why are you hitting me?”
And I brought the bible down on his head.
“Sir, do you not see the errors of your ways and the path to the gift of everlasting life? are you not at the cross roads yet?”
“I just wanted some money for a bottle of wine.”
“No sir that is not the way to go and I brought my foot to his thigh.”

Eze 26:10
He will cover you with the dust kicked up by his many horses. Your walls will shake from the noise of the horsemen, wheels, and chariots when he enters your gates like those who invade through a city’s broken walls.

“He yelped and asked for a drink.”
There was a young man also in the store and he came out and placed his hand on my shoulder.
“Reverend you need to stop.”
“Young man if you know anything about how the real world works, you know that this man is in trouble and I am trying to reach him.”

Exo 7:4
Pharaoh will not listen to you. I will reach into Egypt and bring out my regiments, my people the Israelites, from the land of Egypt with great acts of judgment.

Deu 4:28
There you will worship gods made by human hands – wood and stone that can neither see, hear, eat, nor smell.

“His god is his drink. It is the drink that he worships and it is a false idol that he needs to let look away from.”
“He must,” and I kicked him two more times, but he just sat there like a child throwing a fit. “Give up the drink” I told the young man and I brought the bible down on the top of his head.

Deu 5:27
You go near so that you can hear everything the Lord our God is saying and then you can tell us whatever he says to you; then we will pay attention and do it.”

“I must help him now” and the you man grabbed my arm I brought the bible spine across his nose and he stepped back.
The hobo was crying now and asking for god to help him
You see I said loudly he is beginning to see the path to righteousness.
“Man are you willing to give up the drink and accept the churches help?”
“Yes father yes please do not beat me anymore.”

Deu 13:17
You must not take for yourself anything that has been placed under judgment. Then the Lord will relent from his intense anger, show you compassion, have mercy on you, and multiply you as he promised your ancestors.

Jer 12:15
But after I have uprooted the people of those nations, I will relent and have pity on them. I will restore the people of each of those nations to their own lands and to their own country.

“Then get thee to the church down the street and tell them the reverend Sleestaxx sent you. They will take care of you.”
The young man looked horrified at me. He was still holding his nose.
“For a priest you sure are a fucker!”
“What do you mean kid?”
“You did not have to beat that man.”
“No I did”
“He was stealing and he was worshiping the drink and he forgot his way.”
“I had to show him back the right path. I had to get past the drink and the years of self loathing so that he could hear the words of the lord.”

Num 12:6
The Lord said, “Hear now my words: If there is a prophet among you, I the Lord will make myself known to him in a vision; I will speak with him in a dream.

“No you are a bully and you shoved your religion down his throat.”
“No he asked for help.”

Exo 22:23
If you afflict them in any way and they cry to me, I will surely hear their cry,

“I gave it to him. He said help a brother out.”
“That is not what he meant.”
“No that is exactly what he meant. If he wanted what you say he wanted he would have asked you or the nice lady in there instead.”
“The lord put him in the store at that time for him to meet me. The lord has plans for that man. I know because the god speaks to me even now.”

Exo 19:9
The Lord said to Moses, “I am going to come to you in a dense cloud, so that the people may hear when I speak with you and so that they will always believe in you.” And Moses told the words of the people to the Lord.

“No you are wrong.”
“Ok young man, are you asking for the lord to talk to you also?”
“Oh like you could get me to see your god.”
“I brought the bible down on the top of his young head.”
“He is your god too young man do you not hear and see him yet?”
“What the fuck?”
“Wrong answer” and I brought the bible down again and he dropped to his knees and began to cover up.

Zec 3:5
Then I spoke up, “Let a clean turban be put on his head.” So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him, while the angel of the Lord stood nearby.

I brought the bible down again and he cried out "oh my god" "Oh my god"
“There you are beginning to see now aren't you punk.”
And I began to just drop the bible down on his head over and over again.
He asked me to stop and I did.
There son, do you see the light?
“Yes father I do see.” He sobbed, “How could I have missed this for so long?”
“The lord has us out here for a reason.”

Mat 10:8
Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. Freely you received, freely give.

“I will see you in church on Sunday young man.”
“Yes father, you will.”
“On Thursday you can try to have a rematch you want.”
“Will you be using the bible?”
“No just the boxing gloves”
“Then it is a date old man.”
I helped him to his feet. And I already showed him the way.
I went back to the store where the older lady was standing there with her mouth open.
“Ma'am do you know the lord?”
She nodded and I gave back her cell phone.
She left and I looked to Abdul.
“John, what about my door? It is broken.”
“Abdul you know I will fix the door I have always fixed the door in past right?”
“Yes.”
“John your-no er ah.... god is very powerful, isn't he?”
“Abdul I know you do not believe in the same messiah. But until you ask for help in finding the way I can not help you. You may find the way on another path that does not need my counsel.”
“Abdul call the glass people and tell them to bill the church they know the routine and so do you. I am tired and I want to go home.”

Deu 25:18
How they met you along the way and cut off all your stragglers in the rear of the march when you were exhausted and tired; they were unafraid of God.

2Sa 17:29
Honey, curds, flocks, and cheese. For they said, “The people are no doubt hungry, tired, and thirsty there in the desert.”

“Everyone I would like you all too welcome Scott and Patrick.”
“Come on let have a big hello and round of applause. I want them to feel welcomed and at home.”
Scott will be helping the single mothers group with their chores and Patrick will be in need of constant counseling until he is dry and confident.
The parking lot was a joy to see last weekend every one taking their time to leave and not honking or yelling. There were no accidents.
Please let us do that again this weekend and every week end from now one.
I will have Patrick work the parking lot detail. he will have the same authority as me and the same baseball bat.
Please stop in the foyer for coffee and cookies. Please congratulate the girls champion again and make sure to stop by the boys and point and laugh as they lost again last Friday night.
I understand it was close....NOT....
Two rounds and the boys' champion taps out. What is that?

Keep your pimp hand strong and go in peace.

Amen

Criminals and molesters listen to me By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2007-11-12T06:33:00.000-08:00

Criminals and molesters listen to me

By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

My friends and family that are here today and the ones that could not make it today due to the various commitments that arise through out the week are not whom I speak of today when I say I say I hate people. I hate you humans. I would rather drift and sink in a sea of maggots and leeches that climb onto a piece of driftwood with any of the human race.
There are some of you that know some of my story and about how I became who I am. I have told stories when needed for imagery about some of my life to this point in time.
But trust me when I say I know human suffering and I know human predators and I know the human race is diseased with fucking scum.

Hos 9:14
Give them, O Lord – what will you give them? Give them wombs that miscarry, and breasts that cannot nurse!

Lam 3:65
Give them a distraught heart; may your curse be on them!

I listened to a story about a school teacher molesting little girls in school. Why? Why do we have to prolong this humans existence any long than necessary.
There is enough stories that match and from many different girls over the course of some two years. Let us just fuck have a lottery on how this shit fuck dies.
No I do not want to waste the care and feeding of this human. If this was an animal that got loose and was going down the street biting people then the cops
Would block off the street and shoot it! There is nothing different from us and the animals other that our thumbs.

Jer 17:10
I, the Lord, probe into people’s minds. I examine people’s hearts. I deal with each person according to how he has behaved. I give them what they deserve based on what they have done.

Luk 18:8
I tell you, he will give them justice speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?”

I see the surveillance video of some punk ass freak taking pictures up a 13 year old skirt. What the hell is wrong with him? 13 years old........ jesus H christ!
That mother fucker should find himself in my neighborhood. In my church I would take care of him and the fucker in the school. I would wash their sins with their blood. They would leak red life liquid from their eyes and noses and ears from teh baptism I would administer.
The fuckers would be screaming for salvation and crying to their punk ass god until heir punk ass god did not deliver them and then they would cry to my god for forgiveness and my lord would not deliver them after a pound was extracted and spilled on the mat. My god would make them pay like the evil twisted sinners they are.

Num 5:18
Then the priest will have the woman stand before the Lord, uncover the woman’s head, and put the grain offering for remembering in her hands, which is the grain offering of suspicion. The priest will hold in his hand the bitter water that brings a curse.

These fuckers need to be held up by their toes and flayed by the cat o nine tails just as jesus was. They need to be beaten raw and then salt poured into their wounds to stop the blood flow and the given some more beatings. I want these fuckers in society to suffer as the kids that are abused suffer I want the abusers to know what suffering is. I want them to cry every night and I want them to doubt their validity and their purpose in life. They should know the smell of salesman crotch. They should think that this is the only way to live and then they may begin to understand the hopeless ness of the situation.
They should be left to eat the left overs of strangers and they should be treated like trash.
There should be a day of predator beatings. Once a month the child molesters should be taken out of the prison and put out on the sidewalk once a month for any passerby to beat kick rape and spit on.

Num 5:21
Then the priest will put the woman under the oath of the curse and will say to the her, “The Lord make you an attested curse among your people, if the Lord makes your thigh fall away and your abdomen swell; “your thigh” as a euphemism for the genitals: “cause your genital organs to shrink.”

Man the lord sure had some great curses back then. But see now we are all civilized and have all this technology and all these smarts that we do not need his curses and we should be able to fix these problems our selves we have been shown the way.
But we have some poor child molester’s mother who wants to protect her bay boy and she fights for lesser sentences and easier punishments. The molester's mother has no idea what horrible damage has been done the child of someone else and she does not care and there in lies the problem. She does not care. She did not care when her baby was growing up and so this piece of shit was not brought properly and so he is now a human animal and needs to be put down. The mother that raise that fucking piece of crap should be put down also and any family members two generations up should also be fixed and not allowed to have children they have a defect in their family and the tree should be pruned.
The molesters would think better about molesting if they know they would be put down and their families would be put down also.
Why do we keep doing the same thing over and over again?

Num 5:19
Then the priest will put the woman under oath and say to the her, “If no other man has had sexual relations with you, and if you have not gone astray and become defiled while under your husband’s authority, may you be free from this bitter water that brings a curse.

Num 5:22
and this water that causes the curse will go into your stomach, and make your abdomen swell and your thigh rot.” Then the woman must say, “Amen, amen.”

Num 5:24
He will make the woman drink the bitter water that brings a curse, and the water that brings a curse will enter her to produce bitterness.

While I am on a rant about molesters and their fucked up families let me touch on the subject of thieves.
We all know what happened to the poor bastard I caught breaking into my car. Well he is now been released because there are too many criminals and they needed the space. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT?? just throw some fucking blankets on the floor. They are animals. And put any mother fucker that wants to talk about rights in there with the criminals for a night.
I am sure that any tree hugging, fur kissing, dirt munching druid spent the night with these fuckers would not think they deserved any rights. Just one of those animals would knock out their teeth and toss their salad to prove he was not human and just another fucking animal.
We are too nice to our criminals. We give them too many comforts. The punishment is not nearly as bad as the crime they committed. Because their is always some fuck head saying "oh they are just misunderstood. They just need some help to understand how to so-operate in society." Bull shit! they know how they choose not to.
They want to prey on others. That is how they want to make their way. And we say no no that is not right. Here have a time out. Ok now go out do not do it again.

Num 5:27
When he has made her drink the water, then, if she has defiled herself and behaved unfaithfully toward her husband, the water that brings a curse will enter her to produce bitterness – her abdomen will swell, her thigh will fall away, and the woman will become a curse among her people.

Isa 47:3
Let your private parts be exposed! Your genitals will be on display! I will get revenge; I will not have pity on anyone,”

The punishment should fit the crime. Rapists should be raped daily; murders should be tortured on television daily and then killed. Robbers should be forced to work for government agencies and coaches would be made to umpire.
I want to see these predators, these fucking pussies, these blights on society brought to the level at which they belong and kept there. They do not deserve any special treatment. They do not deserve a jail cell that is comfortable or safe they should be in fear every minute of their lives. They should know the fear and anguish of the people they victimized. They should suffer great deals before the good lord weighs them. They should just be removed from society and fed to pigs.
To my community I would like to thank their wonderful support and encouragement. I would like to thank First Execration Church Of Odium Anathema for receiving me and letting be their Shepard. I believe I have accomplished much and I believe that there is much left to be accomplished. The good lord’s work is never done.
I have been asked to go on a speaking tour. And I have been asked to read sermons at other churches. It appears that my evangelizing has become somewhat of a commodity.
Fear not I will always be your pastor your reverend your light to the good lord. But I will have to defer some Thursdays to Shannon Lark and a couple of the other deacons.
Please go in peace and know that I am in the parking lot with rocks waiting for you bastards to misbehave.

Umpiring and the lord By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2007-11-08T07:01:00.000-08:00

THE FOX AND THE GRAPES By Aesop

A hungry Fox saw some fine bunches of Grapes hanging from a vine that was trained along a high trellis, and did his best to reach them by jumping as high as he could into the air. But it was all in vain, for they were just out of reach: so he gave up trying, and walked away with an air of dignity and unconcern, remarking, "I thought those Grapes were ripe, but I see now they are quite sour."

Our society is falling apart. We are generating legions of whiners and cry babies. Our children are learning that it is better to blame someone for their failures than to accept that some fucking work needs to be done to accomplish anything.

Mark 16:16 The one who believes and is baptized will be saved, but the one who does not believe will be condemned. 16:17 These signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new languages; 16:18 they will pick up snakes with their hands, and whatever poison they drink will not harm them; they will place their hands on the sick and they will be well.”

I umpired eleven softball games this weekend. I step onto the field knowing that there will be a sinner that hates me and a coach that loves me. This I know. I will never make a call that both teams will like. From the first outside pitch that I did not see over the plate to the check swing that I called a swing I had this fucking asshole on my back.

Psa 57:4 I am surrounded by lions; I lie down among those who want to devour me; men whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are a sharp sword.

Rev 9:8 They had hair like women’s hair, and their teeth were like lions’ teeth.

They say terrible terrible things. They attack my character. They attack my integrity they say mean hurtful things. Why do they do that, because they have to blame someone for their short comings and failures?

They are failing and they can not say "I met someone that plays better than me." They accuse me of conspiring and they say I have picked a favorite when I walked onto the field.

2Pe 2:13 suffering harm as the wages for their harmful ways. By considering it a pleasure to carouse in broad daylight, they are stains and blemishes, indulging in their deceitful pleasures when they feast together with you.

In reality I do not even think about which team is at bat and which team is ahead. My focus is on the zone. Or my focus is on the feet and hands and the ball.

That is all I do, not even know which coach is bitching half the time. But..........

But..........

Sometimes one fucker gets up under my skin and festers too fast for even the lord to give me patients. These are the worst of the worst these are the ones that came onto the field looking for a reason to bitch at me. I almost can tell you at the plate meeting who the fucker is going to be.

Tit 3:11 You know that such a person is twisted by sin and is conscious of it himself.

Gen 37:26 Then Judah said to his brothers, “What profit is there if we kill our brother and cover up his blood?

And I will say, Yes I am able to make a mistake now and again. I even know when I made the mistake and I try to correct it.
I was at the plate and it was long day. And their girl could not put the ball over the plate no matter how hard {{I}} Tried to see the outside corner she was not there.

Luk 8:14 As for the seed that fell among thorns, these are the ones who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the worries and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature.

The coach was whining and bitching something fierce. At one point he stepped up to pretended to clean his shoes and said that my strike zone sucked.
I smiled as nice as I could and said "OK if you say so"

He said "I do say so".

I said "Aright then let us continue the game."

He said "No blue your zone is terrible"

OK.

No REAL BAAAAAAD

So you want to forfeit and not continue the game?

I did not say that.

Well actually you did. You see I said lets continue the game and you said no blue your zone is terrible.
That was not what I meant.
I am sorry but you need to get into the dug out cause we are about to start the next inning

Psa 43:1 Vindicate me, O God! Fight for me against an ungodly nation! Deliver me from deceitful and evil men!

Some more grousing, chirping, bitchin’, and crying.
He the bitchy coach walks up and asks where was the first strike?
Where is this conversation going?
Just tell me where the first strike was...down the middle?
Yeah sure where is the point of this conversation?
you do not know
No I do not understand the point of the conversation so it the conversation is over.
He goes and begins to make a production of telling everybody I do not remember the last 20 pitches in order and he does.

Pro 30:31 a strutting rooster, a male goat, and a king with his army around him.

Pro 12:5 The plans of the righteous are just; the counsels of the wicked are deceitful.

Finally I here "he sucks"
I call time and I motion for the coach to step over to me.
I say "Coach to stop being a dummy head."
He looks at me and says what?
Coach you are making as dummy head of your self and you are embarrassing your team because of your retarded act. Stop it now or you will be in the parking lot blue there is only 10 minutes left.
No you do not understand. I was told not to throw anybody out. So if I do, you had to have been a real ass. And I will make sure that the director knows what an ass you were.
You can not do that!
Yes I can and I have twice before.
I am not saying that I am special and I carry any special power I am just saying that if I toss a coach today it means that that coach was way too out of control. Every umpire scheduler knows that I am too nice and I am too easy when it comes to tossing.
Do I make my self clear?
Yes sir.

Psa 35:17 O Lord, how long are you going to just stand there and watch this? Rescue me from their destructive attacks; guard my life from the young lions

Then on another game I had an obstruction call. batter runner reaches first base and bumps into the first baseman and drops down a bit. I noticed that the first baseman has been forcing a wide turn by stepping into the track of the runner.
I throw out the delayed dead ball and protect the runner to second.
The defensive coach calls time and comes out.
Are you telling me that you think the runner would have been safe had she not collided with first baseman?
Yeah sure that is what I am saying.
There is no way she would have made it to the base.
Uh OK
She would not have made it!
Uh Ok but my call stands.
No she would not have made it!
Uh ok.
I want to talk to your partner.
Uh OK. (Long pause as he turns and takes a step) But it is my call and I am not asking for any help.
He is crushed. And slumps
That is a terrible call to be making this late in the game

Well sir had there been contact sooner the call would have been made sooner.

Rev 9:17 Now this is what the horses and their riders looked like in my vision: The riders had breastplates that were fiery red, dark blue, and sulfurous yellow in color. The heads of the horses looked like lions’ heads, and fire, smoke, and sulfur came out of their mouths.
I am in the parking lot changing between games from plate to field. Two more games.
And a dad passes by.

You suck as a umpire and he keeps going. Like a drive by.
Really? You suck as a woman.
He stops and turns.
I am not a woman!
Oh really? Then I guess you just suck! Have a nice day.
What is your name?
Reverend John Sleestaxx. And I extend my hand
He ignores my offer to shake hands.
I am going to tell the director what you said.
Ok but when the director hears how you made a personal comment you will be run out for the reminder of the tournament.
No I won't
Yes you will.
You sir are not allowed to make personal attacks on any official. It is stated in every rule book of every sport.
It is not! Yes it is it is followed by sportsmanship conduct being the judgment of the official and the official being the final say at any point during the game.
The director's name is Robert Schmidt. And he can be found right over there and I indicate the tournament table at the park entrance. I can take over there right now if you like and introduce him to you.
No you mind your own business.
And you have a nice day Dad!
What a cock sucker!
Anyway I go to my last and the game is close. We are the last game to play the fields are empty and the UIC and Tourney director are watching my game. I thought this was a good game for me and I did not hear any complaining. The time limit expired but visitor was up by one point after the third out.
The coaches start talking and they approach me and my partner.
Hey I know the time has expired but we really want to complete the game.
Can we pay you for some extra time?
My partner and I look at each other.
I turn and I say you can keep anything you were going to pay me it is for one half innings and I will do it by myself if my partner needs to go.
He says he does but he will stay for one half innings.
So I volunteer 20 minutes of my time for free so that these girls can play some more ball.
But I suck as an umpire and I am stupid.
The game ends with visitor holding their lead.
One my way home I stop at a store to get a soda.
In line behind me I hear hey blue you sucked today.
I turn and see a coach from earlier. No coach I did not suck! You failed to teach your team to execute and win you sir sucked as a coach and you want to blame it on me.
He stepped up and start to say something and I head butted him in the forehead his head snapped back and he fell back.
Everyone looked at me
And I will have this candy bar too.
I paid and left as they began to help the old fuck head up. Oh yeah he was like 50 years old.
The lesson here is take action.
Take responsibility for your future.
Take control of your game.
Play hard
Play right
And take no shit from old fuckers in the corner store.

The teen ministries will have an exhibition match in the teen center. it seems that there is a grudge match that needs to be played out since the boys lost to the girls a few weeks ago.
Shannon Lark will be refereeing the match and also providing the mid-match entertainment. 'Shannon you did bring your grinder right?'
The single mothers group would like to ask that some of the men who helped last month provide some contact information as they are needed for more assistance. There is a woman who is in need of a new roof. I know that there are enough strong backs that a new roof could be raised in a weekend.
Let us show up and show our support and help this family member out.
Drive carefully in the parking lot and remember not to honk as I will be out there with rocks.
Ecc 3:5
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

Go in peace and keep your pimp hand strong.

Strip Bar Evangelizing By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2007-11-02T05:26:00.000-07:00

I go into the flesh temple and save a soul or two

By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

I was asked to go to a topless bar to talk to a young lady that was a relative of a church going member. Not of this church but I was asked because this particular place the nature of the personality of the relative warranted my going because of my diplomatic abilities.

Well I walked into this den of inequity, this parlor of sin, A temple of the flesh. Yes that is what this place was! A temple of the flesh! There were many women there of various levels of beauty and wearing little to no clothing gyrating on the temple goers and tables of the patrons.

Rev 3:17
Because you say, “I am rich and have acquired great wealth, and need nothing,” but do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked,

Rev 16:15
(Look! I will come like a thief! Blessed is the one who stays alert and does not lose his clothes so that he will not have to walk around naked and his shameful condition be seen.)

Rev 17:16
The ten horns that you saw, and the beast – these will hate the prostitute and make her desolate and naked. They will consume her flesh and burn her up with fire.

I sat in the middle of the room at an empty table. The lights were low even on the stage. I chose this table because there was a single light in the ceiling that illuminated the table.

I placed my bible on the table opened to the book of Isaiah.

The girl I was to see, a pretty young thing, was on the stage. She danced at the pole turning and twirling around. She gyrated her hips and shook her backside in time to the music.

The music was loud but I could still hear my voice without yelling.

I began to read aloud.

Isa 21:2 I have received a distressing message: “The deceiver deceives, the destroyer destroys. Attack, you Elamites! Lay siege, you Medes! I will put an end to all the groaning!”

Isa 21:3 For this reason my stomach churns; cramps overwhelm me like the contractions of a woman in labor. I am disturbed by what I hear, horrified by what I see.

Isa 21:4 My heart palpitates, I shake in fear; the twilight I desired has brought me terror.

Isa 21:5 Arrange the table, lay out the carpet, eat and drink! Get up, you officers,
smear oil on the shields!

I guess the young woman could see that I was not watching her show because when she was done dancing she came directly to my table.

Why are you reading while I was dancing? Am I not beautiful enough for you or are you gay?

Then she saw that it was a bible and said "Worse you are a bible thumper."

I said "first of all I saw you dance. I have not called you any names. And you are very pretty."

But I am here because your parents are worried about you.

So they sent a priest.

I am not a priest that is catholic. I am a reverend. From the First Execration Church Of Odium Anathema.

“Whatever.”

No this is a special church. This church knows it is hard to be reverent in today’s' evil world of sinners and criminals that run the country and economy.

I provide special counseling and evangelizing.

Whatever. Look I have to work.

No you have to listen to me.

Unless you are going to pay twenty dollars for a lap dance I have to go over there. She pointed to some bearded construction types.

How about I give you twenty dollars and you talk to me.

Nope for that you have to spend eighty for the champagne room.

And she started to get up.

Twenty and we talk here.

Rom 13:13 Let us live decently as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in discord and jealousy.

"Nope" she said and she went over to the bearded gentlemen. They talked a bit she gestured towards me they handed her a bill and she began to dance. She pushed her breasts together and mashed them into the face of the gentleman and the group whooped and hollered.

She turned and sat on his lap and rubbed herself on his lap and his crew all watched and slapped the table.

Job 3:12 Why did the knees welcome me, and why were there two breasts that I might nurse at them?

He placed his hands on her hips and she politely moved them off. and then she turned around and began to shake her breasts in front of him again and his friends all hollered and then one of them slapped her behind and she stiffened but smiled at him and shook her finger playfully at him.

I jumped up and charged. They did not see me coming as they were too busy looking at the naked flesh of this young woman.

I brought the bible down and across the head of the spanker with such force that the binding broke and pages of the lords word flew like confetti across the table and rest of the crowd.

Rev 3:20 Listen! I am standing at the door and knocking! If anyone hears my voice and opens the door I will come into his home and share a meal with him, and he with me.

The other men stood and the girl fell to the floor.

I grabbed the gentleman with the bill by the back of the head and smashed his face into the table. he was either too drunk to get up or the table was harder than I thought because he just passed out

Joel 3:10 Beat your plowshares into swords, and your pruning hooks into spears! Let the weak say, ‘I too am a warrior!’ 3:11 Lend your aid and come, all you surrounding nations, and gather yourselves to that place.” Bring down, O Lord, your warriors!

His friend leapt onto me and we fell to the ground and began grappling.

Two bouncers came over and pulled us apart.

They did not expect me to turn so quickly as I spun and pushed my fist into the nose of my capture. His head snapped back and I kneed him directly into the testicles.

Lev 21:20 or a hunchback, or a dwarf, or one with a spot in his eye, or a festering eruption, or a feverish rash, or a crushed testicle.

He fell to his knees and I dropped him with a knee to the face. "God forgives you" is all I said to him and he fell back and looked at the ceiling.

Dan 5:6 Then all the color drained from the king’s face and he became alarmed. The joints of his hips gave way, and his knees began knocking together.

His knees became wet with urine he had pissed himself and now he feared his own mortality and I was the light that shown the way and I spoke dear merciful please forgive this ignorant servant and receive him into your glorious house. Amen

My assailant’s bouncer looked shocked and surprised by my swiftness. "Now the lord is very pissed at you though" and I punch the construction guy in the eye

Twice before the bouncer realized I was coming.

The bouncer let go of the construction guy and reached for me.

I jumped back and turned a bit so that my kick would catch him in the knee.

"The lord will heal you later brother"

Above the music you heard the joint snap! This was a sickening wet popping noise that only footballers and hardcore street fighters have heard, and now a topless dancer.

The customer had fallen back and was leaning on a table. He looked at me realized there was no more help and he held up his hands.

Stop? What is the matter? What do you want? He said

You sir need to stop worshiping the flesh. Get thee to church and ask for the lord’s righteous love and forgiveness.

Go now or I shall christen you as I have the rest.

He turned and pushed by the crowd that was gathering.

I saw the bartender coming with a bat out of the corner of my eye

Joel 3:12 Let the nations be roused and let them go up to the valley of Jehoshaphat, for there I will sit in judgment on all the surrounding nations.

Joel 3:13 Rush forth with the sickle, for the harvest is ripe! Come, stomp the grapes, for the winepress is full! The vats overflow. Indeed, their evil is great!

And I knew what was happening as the girl's eyes widened. I duck and came about as the bat passed my head.

I slammed my fist into the eye socket of the bartender and he fell back. I brought my left fist up into the jaw as he fell back. His teeth slapped together with a "click clack" and he dropped to the ground.

1Ki 21:19 Say to him, ‘This is what the Lord says: “Haven’t you committed murder and taken possession of the property of the deceased?”’ Then say to him,

‘This is what the Lord says: “In the spot where dogs licked up Naboth’s blood they will also lick up your blood – yes, yours!”’”

I looked at the girl nude and shaking in total fear.

"Young lady you must find another vocation! The owner will know that you asked me to come here and beat these men up."

"That is not true!" she whimpered

"No it is true as I am a man of the cloth and I do not lie"

She looked about at the carnage and the beat and broken men. And said,

“Your god must be strong and your conviction in his word must be very mighty to have taken so many men and reduced them to little whimpering boys.”

I held my hand to her and she took it.

We left and I have given her a room in the rectory so that we can begin proper counseling and vocational rehabilitation.

2Pe 3:14 Therefore, dear friends, since you are waiting for these things, strive to be found at peace, without spot or blemish, when you come into his presence.

Gen 44:4 They had not gone very far from the city when Joseph said to the servant who was over his household, “Pursue the men at once! When you overtake them, say to them, ‘Why have you repaid good with evil?

She has been given the job of co-coordinating the sinners into the proper groups and also answering the phone for appointments.

I have sent her to the women’s groups for proper social exercises and practice.

I believe that she will become a valuable member of our church.

I will be in the parking lot shaking hands and heads. Please remember that honking brings out the worst possible mood in me and that you all need to behave all week mot just the hour you are here. You need to behave in the parking lot.

SLOW THE FUCK DOWN.

The felon program has been canceled as certain groups have found that my method of counseling is brutal and rough. It works! But it is rough and they think that it is unfair to put these known criminals in the ring with a pastor. To get the good word and the lord’s love beaten into them.

You know these tree huggers are starting to make me upset.

Oh well the lord will show them all the way soon enough.

Gen 18:19 I have chosen him so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just. Then the Lord will give to Abraham what he promised him.”

Go in peace and be happy

Remember to keep your pimp hand strong.

Preaching in an Adult Book Store. By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2007-11-01T05:17:00.000-07:00

Finding god in a adult book store video booth.

Last Monday I witnessed at an Adult Superplex.

I went in there because it was brought to my attention that there may be some of the men from my congregation in there during the lunch hour. There was not but I would like to share my accounts of the visit and the atrocities and shameful behavior that I witnessed while I was slogging through all the unclean vile things on the floor.
First when I enter I notice that the place is packed with many wicked people. Some are clearly embarrassed to be there as they refuse to look up and be seen. These are the ones with a concise these poor souls are deep in the grip of Satan and the twisted porn addiction that comes from a temple empty of the lord.
The ones that do look up and defy your gaze are the ones that I feel are the lost souls, these poor bastards are the ones that have no remorse for the filthy dirty degrading industry that they are supporting. These fuckers are the ones that no other pastor but I could reach.
I placed my bible on the counter that housed all manners of contraptions and onto my bible I thumped a twenty dollar bill and asked for change. The clerk smirked and said sure do you want tokens or change. Why tokens you poor lost soul.
He handed me 20 coins that looked as innocent as video game tokens but instead of a video game character the token had a naked women and on the other side the bottom half of the naked woman. He then said "Hey padre you here to save me?" and he laughed.
I smiled said "No sir, you are beyond saving." He looked hurt. “Unless you want salvation.” I added.
His smiled faded and I turned to see many eyes on me from both the ashamed and the proud.
I went to the back room that was dark and painted black.
There were four rows of 8 booths and I chose the booth that was in the center of them all.
I dropped a coin into the receptacle and open my bible.

The Song of Songs 7

7:1 How beautiful are your sandaled feet,
O nobleman’s daughter!
The curves of your thighs are like jewels,
the work of the hands of a master craftsman.

7:2 Your navel is a round mixing bowl –
may it never lack mixed wine!
Your belly is a mound of wheat,
encircled by lilies.

7:3 Your two breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle.

7:4 Your neck is like a tower made of ivory.
Your eyes are the pools in Heshbon
by the gate of Bath-Rabbim.
Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon
overlooking Damascus.

7:5 Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel.
The locks of your hair are like royal tapestries –
the king is held captive in its tresses!

7:6 How beautiful you are! How lovely,
O love, with your delights!

7:7 Your stature is like a palm tree,
and your breasts are like clusters of grapes.

7:8 I want to climb the palm tree,
and take hold of its fruit stalks.
May your breasts be like the clusters of grapes,
and may the fragrance of your breath be like apricots!

7:9 May your mouth be like the best wine,
flowing smoothly for my beloved,
gliding gently over our lips as we sleep together.

7:10 I am my beloved’s,

and he desires me!

The Journey to the Countryside

The Beloved to Her Lover:

7:11 Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside;
let us spend the night in the villages.
7:12 Let us rise early to go to the vineyards,
to see if the vines have budded,
to see if their blossoms have opened,
if the pomegranates are in bloom –
there I will give you my love.

7:13 The mandrakes send out their fragrance;
over our door is every delicacy,
both new and old, which I have stored up for you, my lover.

Then In the loudest most god like voice I started to praise the lord

"Dear lord please bless this place regardless of the sins against nature that occur."
"Hey shut up in there" came from my neighbor.

"Dear lord.
I know that you are looking down upon these unfortunate souls and wondering what you are to do with us."

"Hey I said to shut up!"

Even Louder I proclaimed,

Rev 17:1 Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls came and spoke to me. “Come,” he said, “I will show you the condemnation and punishment of the great prostitute who sits on many waters, 17:2 with whom the kings of the earth committed sexual immorality and the earth’s inhabitants got drunk with the wine of her immorality.” 17:3 So he carried me away in the Spirit to a wilderness, and there I saw a woman sitting on a scarlet beast that was full of blasphemous names and had seven heads and ten horns. 17:4 Now the woman was dressed in purple and scarlet clothing, and adorned with gold, precious stones, and pearls. She held in her hand a golden cup filled with detestable things and unclean things from her sexual immorality. 17:5 On her forehead was written a name, a mystery: “Babylon the Great, the Mother of prostitutes and of the detestable things of the earth.” 17:6 I saw that the woman was drunk with the blood of the saints and the blood of those who testified to Jesus. I was greatly astounded when I saw her. 17:7 But the angel said to me, “Why are you astounded? I will interpret for you the mystery of the woman and of the beast with the seven heads and ten horns that carries her. 17:8 The beast you saw was, and is not, but is about to come up from the abyss and then go to destruction. The inhabitants of the earth – all those whose names have not been written in the book of life since the foundation of the world – will be astounded when they see that the beast was, and is not, but is to come. 17:9 (This requires a mind that has wisdom.) The seven heads are seven mountains the woman sits on. They are also seven kings: 17:10 five have fallen; one is, and the other has not yet come, but whenever he does come, he must remain for only a brief time. 17:11 The beast that was, and is not, is himself an eighth king and yet is one of the seven, and is going to destruction. 17:12 The ten horns that you saw are ten kings who have not yet received a kingdom, but will receive ruling authority as kings with the beast for one hour. 17:13 These kings have a single intent, and they will give their power and authority to the beast. 17:14 They will make war with the Lamb, but the Lamb will conquer them, because he is Lord of lords and King of kings, and those accompanying the Lamb are the called, chosen, and faithful.”

Rev 17:15 Then the angel said to me, “The waters you saw (where the prostitute is seated) are peoples, multitudes, nations, and languages. 17:16 The ten horns that you saw, and the beast – these will hate the prostitute and make her desolate and naked. They will consume her flesh and burn her up with fire. 17:17 For God has put into their minds to carry out his purpose by making a decision to give their royal power to the beast until the words of God are fulfilled. 17:18 As for the woman you saw, she is the great city that has sovereignty over the kings of the earth.”

There was some banging on the door

You all need to repent your sins. You all have forgotten the word and teachings of the lord. You all are so consumed by the lust that is in your hearts you have forgotten the love that god has planted in there when you were born.

The clerk opened the door and told me to leave.

“No sir I paid my money and I have a right to enjoy the services of this establishment in my way.”

“Oh no, you do not, and now you had better go.” And he reached for me. I stepped aside grabbed his hand and began to turn his wrist in the wrong direction.
"You sir do need to be saved!” and he slipped on the floor to his knees. I brought my shoe to his nose so that he could see the sin that is covering the floor and the mess that lust creates. It was dark and I may have brought my foot too close to his nose because his head snapped back and he started to call god's name.

I pronounced

Eze 16:36

This is what the sovereign Lord says: Because your lust was poured out and your nakedness was uncovered in your prostitution with your lovers, and because of all your detestable idols, and because of the blood of your children you have given to them,

Another person tried to enter the little room that I was saving this man's soul in, and I just squarely punched him in the nose. His head snapped back and he cried out “Jesus Christ!". And fell out the door into the hallway
“Sir your lustful sinning ways must be abated, retribution is at hand, god is calling your name please do not be found short when the good lord measures you.”

Gen 19:10 So the men inside reached out and pulled Lot back into the house as they shut the door. 19:11 Then they struck the men who were at the door of the house, from the youngest to the oldest, with blindness. The men outside wore themselves out trying to find the door. 19:12 Then the two visitors said to Lot, “Who else do you have here? Do you have any sons-in-law, sons, daughters, or other relatives in the city? Get them out of this place 19:13 because we are about to destroy it. The outcry against this place is so great before the Lord that he has sent us to destroy it.”

I began to stomp on the chest of the clerk and he coughed out a plea to stop. I knelt down and whispered to the clerk “are you ready to receive the lord young man?”

“Fuck you” was his reply
So I brought the bible up and smacked it down on his forehead over and over and spoke to him at the same time.
“Get thee to a church and ask for god’s forgiveness. He will forgive you even if I will not. He will love you regardless of the sperm and spooge that is on your back and in your hair.”
“Whack!” Came the bible on his forehead.
“Get thee to a church and ask for god’s forgiveness. He will forgive you even if I will not. He will love you regardless of the sperm and spooge that is on your back and in your hair.”
“Whack!” Came the bible on his forehead.
“Get thee to a church and ask for god’s forgiveness. He will forgive you even if I will not. He will love you regardless of the sperm and spooge that is on your back and in your hair.”
“Whack!” Came the bible on his forehead.
“You are crazy!”
“No sir I am here to save a soul.”
“Get thee to a church and ask for god’s forgiveness. He will forgive you even if I will not. He will love you regardless of the sperm and spooge that is on your back and in your hair.”

“Whack!” Came the bible on his forehead.

Mat 21:32

For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him. But the tax collectors and prostitutes did believe. Although you saw this, you did not later change your minds and believe him.

Mat 21:12

Then Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all those who were selling and buying in the temple courts, and turned over the tables of the money changers and the chairs of those selling doves.

The clerk then went silent. He passed out from god's word.

I began to stand but the door way was crowded with on lookers, more sinners that needed to be loved and have their lust beaten from them. I charged and they embraced me. I swung and struck a very large man in the eye and he let go and then I brought my elbow back around to the temple of another gentleman and he dropped to the floor gushing the lords name.

Mat 21:15 But when the chief priests and the experts in the law saw the wonderful things he did and heard the children crying out in the temple courts, “Hosanna to the Son of David,” they became indignant 21:16 and said to him, “Do you hear what they are saying?” Jesus said to them, “Yes. Have you never read, ‘Out of the mouths of children and nursing infants you have prepared praise for yourself’?” 21:17 And leaving them, he went out of the city to Bethany and spent the night there.

I began to punch and kick in the dark hallway until I was able to get to the door of the main room of the business where upon there were more sinners and lustful people waiting for me to lead them. I had saved the soul of the clerk and to save one soul that was as damned as any in that place was huge triumph!
I know that tomorrow the business will be closed and all of these sinners will have witnessed god's work instead of seeking lustful images they would seek god's work instead.
The single mothers support group would like to thank the help that was provided by the men both married and single. There were many projects completed that would not have been done with out the help from all you strong men.
The response has been so great and the turn out such a phenomenal success that the group is asking that a once a quarter they have a help a single mother weekend.
The men’s group has graciously agreed to donate one of their weekends to the cause.
The sewing circle is having a cloth drive again. They are beginning a new project. They would like to make the largest quilt dedicated to legal American citizens. So please find time to cleanout the closets and find all of the fabric to go to this cause.

Remember to keep your pimp hand strong.

Revivalism in the bathroom. By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2007-10-31T05:00:00.001-07:00

God is everywhere

I was in court today and I could not pass the opportunity to evangelize a little while I was there. I went into the rest room on the 8th floor and I found all the stalls full. At first I thought, ‘What are the chances to find an audience like this.’
So I cleared my throat. And let the lord speak to the captured masses that were there.

I have you all here for a reason. Hear me as I tell you all the gospel of the lord.
You all sit there and contemplate the ideas and plans of men. You ignore the plans of the lord.
The lord told Hosea to marry a prostitute.
Hosea 1:2-1:5 When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, he said to him, “Go marry a prostitute who will bear illegitimate children conceived through prostitution, because the nation continually commits spiritual prostitution by turning away from the Lord.” So Hosea married Gomer, the daughter of Diblaim. Then she conceived and gave birth to a son for him. Then the Lord said to Hosea, “Name him ‘Jezreel,’ because in a little while I will punish the dynasty of Jehu on account of the bloodshed in the valley of Jezreel, and I will put an end to the kingdom of Israel. At that time, I will destroy the military power of Israel in the valley of Jezreel.”
Hosea married the prostitute, fathered a child and named the child as the lord has said to.
The lord has told you all to help your fellow man. But do you help your fellow man? No you think of devious and deceptive was to take advantage of man and god's children. You lawyers and judges and tax collectors you all forget gods way, gods love and gods plan for all of man kind. You all fleece the poor as if they are your sheep. Nay they are not your sheep they are the lord’s sheep for he is their Sheppard.
You not only steal; from god but you ignore his word.
Shame on you all and shame on your families. Shame that you reap from the sadness and despair of the weak and shame on you for you oppress and provide no relief for the poor.
You are heads of your community and you provide nothing back to the community.

Hosea 1:6-1:9 she conceived again and gave birth to a daughter. Then the Lord said to him, “Name her ‘No Pity’ (Lo-Ruhamah) because I will no longer have pity on the nation of Israel. For I will certainly not forgive their guilt. But I will have pity on the nation of Judah. I will deliver them by the Lord their God; I will not deliver them by the warrior’s bow, by sword, by military victory, by chariot horses, or by chariots.” When she had weaned ‘No Pity’ (Lo-Ruhamah) she conceived again and gave birth to another son.

Then the Lord said: “Name him ‘Not My People’ (Lo-Ammi), because you are not my people and I am not your God.”

Hosea did as the lord asked even though it was humiliating to him. He fathered a second child so that the lord could show his anger for the land of Israel because Israel had forgotten god’s word and god's plan.
They had strayed and became large in their own minds and thought they were beyond god's law just as you all think you are above the lord and above the other children of god.

[Kicking the wall of a stall] Repent now!
[Kicking the wall of a stall] NOW!
[Kicking the wall of a stall] I can not hear you!
[Kicking the wall of a stall] You are all going to hell and you will all burn for eternity

It is the community that carried you to here. It is community that welcomes your children and you wives and mistresses. You are all false men. You are all sad and I weep for you and your future

Jer 22:3
The Lord says, “Do what is just and right. Deliver those who have been robbed from those who oppress them. Do not exploit or mistreat foreigners who live in your land, children who have no fathers, or widows. Do not kill innocent people in this land.

A toilet flushes and I exit.

Court testimony and the law of god. By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2007-10-30T14:38:00.000-07:00

Court testimony and the law of god.
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

You are being sued for the injuries that sustain form encounter with the plaintiff
The plaintiff alleges that you assaulted him without provocation and that this assault caused injuries and the arrest of the plaintiff.
The plaintiff further states that the injuries prevented him form gainful employment and the ability to generate an income.
The plaintiff seeks fifty thousand dollars for medical bills and the loss of income, the plaintiff also asks the court to award another fifty thousand dollars for pain and suffering form the attack and humiliation of the arrest.

Mr Sleestaxx would you wish to make a statement?

Your honor, the plaintiff was caught in the act of breaking to my vehicle. At The moment that I approached the plaintiff he was inside my vehicle.
To say our encounter was without provocation is a prevarication.

Second Peter 2:3
And in their greed they will exploit you with deceptive words. Their condemnation pronounced long ago is not sitting idly by; their destruction is not asleep.

My personal possessions were found on his person. He stood and attacked me with a weapon and injured me. I have a knife wound on my arm form the encounter
Judge Shipley: Is the wound still visible?
Yes it is.
Judge Shipley: Will you please approach the bench so that the wound can be witnessed.
Yes you honor
Judge Shipley: Yes that is a serious wound.
Judge Shipley: Are sure that the plaintiff is responsible for the wound?
Yes the knife was recovered by the officers.

Your honor the bible states

PSA 74:3 Hurry and look at the permanent ruins,
and all the damage the enemy has done to the temple!

And Psalms 74:6 reads And now they are tearing down all its engravings with axes and crowbars.

I saw him pop the lock and damage my vehicle

Rev 9:21
Furthermore, they did not repent of their murders, of their magic spells, of their sexual immorality, or of their stealing.

He was riffling through my personal items. I tried to stop him and he became violent and tried to attack me. I just wanted him to stay there for the police to arrest for the damage and attempted theft of my property.

Psa 37:30
The godly speak wise words and promote justice.

Psa 37:28
For the Lord promotes justice, and never abandons his faithful followers. They are permanently secure, but the children of evil men are wiped out.

Jer 37:14
Jeremiah answered, “That’s a lie! I am not deserting to the Babylonians.” But Irijah would not listen to him. Irijah put Jeremiah under arrest and took him to the officials.

I witnessed him breaking into my car and entering it I approached him and attempted to subdue him for the police but he resisted and tried to get away. In the midsts of trying to get away he stabbed me in the arm. During my defense I had to use more force to protect my life and to subdue him for the police. I never tried to exert more than I felt I had to.

Mr. Sleestaxx due to the fact that the plaintiff states in the suit that he was arrested and pled guilty to the vehicle burglary and the past history of this gentleman I am going to dismiss this case and suggest that you bring a case against him for the damage to your vehicle and the injuries that you sustained.

No your honor the bible also states;

Psa 7:17
I will thank the Lord for his justice; I will sing praises to the sovereign Lord!

and in

Psa 36:6
Your justice is like the highest mountains, your fairness like the deepest sea; you preserve mankind and the animal kingdom.

The bible also speaks of the poor and needy

Pro 22:22
Do not exploit a poor person because he is poor and do not crush the needy in court,

I am sure that he was performing the crime because he was needy.

Jer 22:3
The Lord says, “Do what is just and right. Deliver those who have been robbed form those who oppress them. Do not exploit or mistreat foreigners who live in your land, children who have no fathers, or widows. Do not kill innocent people in this land.

Deu 25:2
Then, if the guilty person is sentenced to a beating, the judge shall force him to lie down and be beaten in his presence with the number of blows his wicked behavior deserves.

I will ask you your honor that instead of another law suit tie up your valuable time that maybe during his incarceration he be brought to my church on Thursday for counseling and baptisms. Now although we call them baptisms they are more like physical counseling and behavior therapy. We believe that sometimes behavior therapy is needed and that many counseling hours are needed to bring the unbelievers around to the path of righteousness. Even if he chooses to not follow gods plan for him and decide not to believe in god I believe the therapy will be good for him.

Psa 28:5
For they do not understand the Lord’s actions, or the way he carries out justice. The Lord will permanently demolish them.

Psa 33:5
The Lord promotes equity and justice; the Lord’s faithfulness extends throughout the earth.

That all of god’s children are in need of second chances. I believe that we may be able to reach this young man and bring him around to see the error of his ways and to be a model citizen. We can call some of the time community service as I can use the extra help around the church.
That sounds like a good idea. And if this is successful maybe you can start a new rehabilitation program for my district.
Oh your honor flatters me. I do not know if I can help this one lost soul let alone have the time to attend to the entire jail and to my congregation. Let us just see how this time with this individual works out.
So on Thursdays we will have an exhibition baptism for 10 mines every hour. Between sessions the nice young gentleman will be assisting in the construction of the youth center.
If you have not been by in a while you might want to come by for this. You do not need to commit a sin to come down. You can just come down for a round or two for fun and just some extra education.

Psa 40:10
I have not failed to tell about your justice; I spoke about your reliability and deliverance; I have not neglected to tell the great assembly about your loyal love and faithfulness.

Psa 9:16
The Lord revealed himself; he accomplished justice; the wicked were ensnared by their own actions.

Psa 40:9
I have told the great assembly about your justice. Look! I spare no words! O Lord, you know this is true.

Now at some point the judge may decide that the work done here is too extreme and decide to remove the youth form the program. Until then i encourage everybody to come one down and witness me saving this little turds souls every Thursday form 6:00am to 6:00pm as well as those in our midst that need and want the savings too.

Psa 35:24
Vindicate me by your justice, O Lord my God! Do not let them gloat over me!

Psa 35:28
Then I will tell others about your justice, and praise you all day long.

Coffee, soft drinks and cookies are in the foyer. While you are all gathering and socializing I am going to get into the parking lot and witness to the first person to honk his horn.
I have repeatedly told you all that the members in the parking lot are your family members but you all seem to forget.
So honk and you will receive a special Sunday dose on my salvation.
The teen minister has announced that he is engaged and will be taking a position at a church closer to his fiancée’s family. I will miss him as he is the first to get a knock down. many of you all remember that epic battle when the church first moved into a building instead of a tent.
Go in peace and feel free to honk today.

Psa 45:4
Appear in your majesty and be victorious! Ride forth for the sake of what is right, on behalf of justice! Then your right hand will accomplish mighty acts!

Zombies and The Lord By Rev J. Sleestaxx

2007-10-29T11:55:00.000-07:00

Zombies and The Lord
By Rev J. Sleestaxx

This being the Halloween week I thought a bit of Halloween bible would be appropriate.
So we will talk about what the bible has to say about zombies and cannibalism. But first is it cannibalism for a zombie to eat the living.
To eat the corpses of the dead is called Necrophagy. And cannibalism is the killing and eating of the same species. The bible states that this is practiced in the past.

Lam 4:10 The hands of tenderhearted women cooked their own children, who became their food, when my people were destroyed.

WOW their own children that is harsh. But you got to do what you got to do.

John 6:54 The one who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.

The bible also speaks of zombies. Celebrating Zombies even;

Isa 26:19
Your dead will come back to life; your corpses will rise up. Wake up and shout joyfully, you who live in the ground! For you will grow like plants drenched with the morning dew, and the earth will bring forth its dead spirits.

Wow even the lord and god believe that the dead are allowed to come back and walk and dance and sing. Although zombie purists would say that true zombies can not articulate at all. But the bible's zombies can shout joyfully about being a zombie and grow like plants.
It would appear that being a zombie would be a state in which one would be happy about.

The bible also speaks about feeding zombies and zombie residency.

Deu 14:21
You may not eat any corpse, though you may give it to the resident foreigner who is living in your villages and he may eat it, or you may sell it to a foreigner.

So I guess that if you are a zombie you are no longer a resident of your country. I would guess that that would make sense and that you would automatically become a member of the zombie nation. the lord loves everyone so i imagine that when Jesus died and then became a zombie it was also for the salvation of the undead also.

1Cor 15:29 Otherwise, what will those do who are baptized for the dead? If the dead are not raised at all, then why are they baptized for them?

Mat 22:13 Then the king said to his attendants, ‘Tie him up hand and foot and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth!’ 22:14 For many are called, but few are chosen.”

For one to be "thrown to zombies", sounds to me, to be a celebrated position and one that should relished and a position of pride and stature.
I would think that this is because at some point in the feeding you are now a zombie too and the other zombies stop eating you and then you begin to look for live flesh to consume.

John 6:55 For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink.

The bible even speaks of a whole city of undead.

Eze 11:6
You have killed many people in this city; you have filled its streets with corpses.

Can you imagine the film prospects and television shows that could be generated from a city like this today? There could be a competition reality show of contestants having to navigate though a city of zombies with out becoming one for cash and prizes. All the prizes you obtained could be given to your loved ones should you not make it!

Deu 25:5
If brothers live together and one of them dies without having a son, the dead man’s wife must not remarry someone outside the family. Instead, her late husband’s brother must go to her, marry her, and perform the duty of a brother-in-law.

You could have a MTV real life in Zombieville and the dysfunctional teenagers can fornicate and drink to excess and sin in zombie town. They can have the sinners of the show date some of the zombies. They should not mind since the bible protects them from marring the zombies.

Luk 20:35
But those who are regarded as worthy to share in that age and in the resurrection from the dead neither marry nor are given in marriage.

The sinners and felons in prison who worry about the injection being too painful can be thrown into zombie city. There they can carve out an existence with the undead until they succumb to the ways of the zombie. This would take care of the prison problem, and the zombie feeding problem that would arise.

Eze 39:18
You will eat the flesh of warriors and drink the blood of the princes of the earth – the rams, lambs, goats, and bulls, all of them fattened animals of Bashan.

I could also see the nut cases starting a zombie advocacy group saying the television shows and movies were taking advantage of the zombies and that someone had to speak for them since they can only say brains.
I would imagine this city of zombies is not unlike the malls in the movies, You know where the mall is filled with zombies looking for more flesh and brains to consume. Why the mall?? I personally would try to get away from the rest of the zombie pack and maybe hide in the bushes by like the IRS office. Then I would leap out and grab the auditors as they came by.

No one knows why living flesh is needed but zombies have needed living flesh since the dawn of time. There must be something in the flesh that appeals to zombies. But the bible states that living flesh is indeed needed by zombies.

John 6:53 Jesus said to them, “I tell you the solemn truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in yourselves.

To eat the flesh of the son of man is to give life. So both life and a zombie state is talked about in the bible as being a state one would not mind being in.

But the bible also has instructions on how to kill a zombie. This was written before the shotgun was invented to blow the heads off of fucking bad zombies.
I say bad zombies because I can not think of a reason why the lord would instruct in how to kill a zombie after speaking so highly of the creation and care of zombies. But how to kill a zombie is also talked about.

So I will say these instructions are fro a time when there was only one way to kill a sinning zombie.

Jdg 4:21 Then Jael wife of Heber took a tent peg in one hand and a hammer in the other. She crept up on him, drove the tent peg through his temple into the ground.

The bible also speaks of the living eating zombies and the dead. I can imagine during war and great famines when the lord was angry, that his people would need to eat something and eating the dead and the evil sinners that entered you city or domicile would make complete sense to me and the lord.

Eze 11:7
Therefore, this is what the sovereign Lord says: ‘The corpses you have dumped in the midst of the city are the meat, and this city is the cooking pot.

To be sure that your in fact dealing with a zombie and to be sure that anyone who has comein contact with a zombie is not or is a zombie the bible also leave provisions or a test when one comes in contact with a zombie.

Num 19:11
“‘Whoever touches the corpse of any person will be ceremonially unclean seven days.

I imagine that 7 days is a sufficient time to be sure that the zombie infection has not taken a hold of you. So if you are in a situation where you think that a loved one has been in contact with a zombie you must keep them away for 7 days. if after 7 days they are showing sign of zombie ism then you may break bread and have them in your domicile.

There was a time in history that the lord created 185 thousand zombies over night. I am willing to bet that this was around Halloween.

Isa 37:36
The Lord’s messenger went out and killed 185,000 troops in the Assyrian camp. When they got up early the next morning, they were all corpses!

Now did he bring them back after Halloween? The bible does not say so. But I can imagine that it would suck to wake up and be dead.
Maybe we will find out on the morning of the 31st. Maybe the lord will turn us all into the undead for Halloween. We can wake up dead on one day and wake up alive on the next. We will all have a better appreciation for being alive after being dead for a day.
Plus I bet you can get a free personal day from work if you can say that you were dead.
So when the 31st rolls around do not be surprised if you wake up dead. Do not be surprised by the dead knocking at your door. And be mindful of the malls during this time also.
The church will be offering candy at a Halloween fair for the kids since there are too many fucking freaks out there. If you do not want to risk taking your wonderful devils witches angels and movies heroes out in the neighborhood bring them on down to the fair.
We will have a haunted house, a jumping thingy and we will also have a marathon boxing lesson for any of the kids.
The street evangelizing has been very successful and we have beat the lord into many of the thugs and sinners in the city over the past month.
We have had a large turnout in the applications for deaconship and I would like to announce that the first female deacon has been accepted.
Please welcome Shannon Lark as the first female deacon. I am sure that you will all make her feel welcome.
Please find the time to stop in the foyer and welcome slash congratulate her on the position

Men and women are different Duh! By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

2007-10-19T06:26:00.001-07:00

Gen 1:27
God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them.

Women and men are different we all know this.

Gen 1:26
Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, after our likeness, so they may rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move on the earth.”

Women and men are different we all know this

Gen 2:5
Now no shrub of the field had yet grown on the earth, and no plant of the field had yet sprouted, for the Lord God had not caused it to rain on the earth, and there was no man to cultivate the ground. 2:6 Springs would well up from the earth and water the whole surface of the ground. 2:7 The Lord God formed the man from the soil of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

Women and men are different we all know this

Gen 2:18
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion for him who corresponds to him.” 2:19 The Lord God formed out of the ground every living animal of the field and every bird of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them, and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 2:20 So the man named all the animals, the birds of the air, and the living creatures of the field, but for Adam no companion who corresponded to him was found. 2:21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he was asleep, he took part of the
man’s side and closed up the place with flesh. 2:22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the part he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

Women and men are different we all know this because

Gen 2:23
Then the man said, “This one at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”

Women and men are different we all know this and unless you suffer from penis envy or vagina jealousy you will admit this to be right.

Women are the ones that learn socializing and men are the ones that carve out environments.

Exo 15:20
Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took a hand-drum in her hand, and all the women went out after her with hand-drums and with dances.

Num 25:2
These women invited the people to the sacrifices of their gods; then the people ate and bowed down to their gods.

This is cultural and is started at birth and enforced through out childhood. Women have dolls like women; they have dolls that look like babies. They have men dolls that look more gay than the threatening dinosaur killers real men are. The men dolls do not look like they can drain a swap and raise a plantation out of swamp land. The men dolls do not look like they plow 40 fucking acres and build a barn in a summer. These sad pathetic watered down versions do not portray the power and success that the creators of the modern industrialized world have and exude. Instead they make a doll that is not sexually threatening for the tea parties and the social games that women play.

Women have internal sex organs they are internal creatures they are always asking “what are you thinking?” men ask “what are you doing?” They have tea parties and feed their dolls imaginary tea with air biscuits that are sprinkled with the pollutants of the house and the molecules of the cleaning products. They chat online and socialize at school.

Exo 12:17
So you will keep the Feast of Unleavened Bread, because on this very day I brought your regiments out from the land of Egypt, and so you must keep this day perpetually as a lasting ordinance.

Gen 4:23
Lamech said to his wives, “Adah and Zillah! Listen to me! You wives of Lamech, hear my words! I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for hurting me.

Think back to the cliques that you belonged to and the ones you wished accepted you. There was a girl in the core of that and every group. Why? Because girls are the ones that develop soft skills while men learn to make tools, and beat on the environment until the environment succumbs and relents to the master of the galaxy.

Men have and use tools, they have external sex organs, they bang, twist, lift and screw their environment to own it, to manipulate it, to make the world livable, while women hang the drapes.

Gen 4:22
Now Zillah also gave birth to Tubal-Cain, who heated metal and shaped all kinds of tools made of bronze and iron.

Why do games appeal to men? They are filled with violence and sex for a reason. It is about environment. It is about controlling and willing an environment to do the master's bidding.

Gen 2:20
So the man named all the animals, the birds of the air, and the living creatures of the field.

Gen 1:26
Then God said, “Let us make humankind in our image, after our likeness, so they may rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move on the earth.”

There are gamers that will spend 100 hours learning to exploit the physics of a game so that they can make their avatar jump farther that any programmer planned. And what does this jump have to do with the play of the game?? It is the fact that the gamer owns the environment; they are making the environment work for them. They now have an edge on the competition they now can create an atmosphere of super human abilities and intimidation that can be used to conquer and vanquish their enemy. The point is that men carve out and beat into submission their surroundings so that the environment is habitable that is what men do that is why we have houses and not caves. Our houses are structures of steel wood and stone and not made of mud. Men created tools to shape the building materials of his environment to his liking.
Some men have said that because there are more men in a career field women are hired so that there is a balance in ratios. That even though there is a man better qualified for the position the company may hire the women so that they (the company) looks like it is equitable in their hiring practices.
To fault men because women are moving into careers that require soft skills and not into positions that use tools and science is not right and against nature and God’s plan.
Confessions are now moved to Wednesdays to make time for all the baptisms on Thursdays. The turn out has been great.
I have been requested to come to many homes to speak with the teenagers that do not follow the church and are in need of special counseling. I am beginning to find a theme emerging and I see that there may be need of a series of teachings regarding teenage sex, drug use and what the responsibilities of the parents are in regards to teens that do not follow the doctrines of the church.
I will of course do everything in my power to bring these unwashed sinful heathens back into the fold of the church and god's brutal but fair and wondrous love. The teen center has started new construction thanks to the many wondrous donations and ticket sales to the girls' boxing matches.
The single mothers support group is in need of a few handymen to assist in some round the house repairs for a number of the members. This is a good time for some of the married women to get rid of their husbands for a time and also a good opportunity for some of the single men to get some husbandly practice for the time that you will be married.

Deu 10:18
Who justly treats the orphan and widow, and who loves resident foreigners, giving them food and clothing.

Mal 3:5
“I will come to you in judgment. I will be quick to testify against those who practice divination, those who commit adultery, those who break promises, and those who exploit workers, widows, and orphans, who refuse to help the immigrant and in this way show they do not fear me,” says the Lord who rules over all.

You know no matter what I say about the parking lot you all decide that you have been to confession, You have taken your licks on Thursday, and now you have sat through my lectures and sermons so now you are going to go out into the parking lot and cut your neighbor off, cuss at that nice old lady who brought you cookies last week. You all need to slow down some take your time going home. Think about how god would leave the parking lot and try to leave the parking lot like that.

Amen and go in peace.

Making tomorrow better by baptizing them today.

2007-10-13T09:03:00.000-07:00

Making tomorrow better by baptizing them today.
By Rev. J. Sleestaxx

I am taking the love of the baptism to the streets and I am beating god's word into the youth of today to make a better tomorrow.

Hosea 4

4:1 Hear the word of the Lord, you Israelites!
For the Lord has a covenant lawsuit against the people of Israel.
For there is neither faithfulness nor loyalty in the land,
nor do they acknowledge God.

You can not go through life ignoring God and God's will. To do so will evoke a lawsuit from God himself against you in the highest court of courts.
I am here to represent you in that trial. And that is why I have Baptismal Beatings every Thursday. You are supposed to come down to the rectory, confess your transgressions while I box your ears in. You are suppose to fight back because God Only helps those that help themselves and well how am I to get better if you act the pussy and not fight back. You will not win. You will get the crap beat out of you but you will have your sins atoned and your penance will be noted in the "Big Book".

Sam 22:39
I wipe them out and beat them to death; they cannot get up; they fall at my feet.
Like Balaam in Numbers

Num 22:23
And the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with his sword drawn in his hand, so the donkey turned aside from the road and went into the field. But Balaam beat the donkey, to make her turn back to the road.

god and the lord have given me the power to beat you all who need it. They also command the beatings to occur

Luk 12:47
That servant who knew his master’s will but did not get ready or do what his master asked will receive a severe beating.

Hosea 4
4:2 There is only cursing, lying, murder, stealing, and adultery.
They resort to violence and bloodshed.

4:3 Therefore the land will mourn,
and all its inhabitants will perish.
The wild animals, the birds of the sky,
and even the fish in the sea will perish.

god and the lord have stated that these things shall come to pass and the news have proven that these things are happening today. There are animals and fish that go extinct everyday.

The time is at hand are you going to hell for the crimes you have committed or would you rather have representation and receive the gift of eternal bliss?
I feel the need to save everyone I come into contact with that I have begun to take my baptismal to the street. I now believe the time to beat god into every stupid sinner I find.
Why just the other day I was walking to the store and I passed some teenage boys. Now we have all seen these fucking morons, you know the pants too big and balanced on the ass displaying the brown shit stain in their underwear. Well they passed me and one stated that I should watch where I am going and bumped into my shoulder and pressed me into the wall of the building.
I jumped back and stated that the lord has placed you on the path to savior and that they are about to see the lord god himself.
They laughed and asked me what the hell I was talking about?
I told them they are about to received some joyous love from the angry lord and I punched one in the nose. His nose sort of flattened and then began to gush the red liquid of life onto the white tee shirt he was wearing.
He cried "Oh God what the hell was that for?"
I turned to his other two friends who were clearly confused by the swiftness of the warrior standing before them.
I spoke "See your friend is already beginning to see the lord and is now beginning the healing of their relationship by speaking to him now!" and I round house kick the nearest stupid thug and he dropped, after my heel thumped the juggler vein in his neck.
His third partner in stupidity snapped to and pulled out a gun and said “I do not know drugs you have that make you think you are super but I have your kryptonite right here bitch!"
I out stretched my hands and said, "Son the lord only wants you all back into the fold" and I stepped in just then the thug on the ground moaned and the one with the gun said hey gee you alright? And Gee moaned.
The thug looked down sand at the same instant I slapped my hand against the pistol hand of the sinner and a shot rang. he looked at me and I told him "Praise the lord for you have received a second chance at salvation." and with great love for my fellow man I lovingly placed one hand at the base of his neck and with the other I began to beat on this fucktard's forehead like it was a wad of bread dough

Gen 18:6
So Abraham hurried into the tent and said to Sarah, “Quick! Take three measures of fine flour, knead it, and make bread.”

The one that was gushing the red life force from his nose blinked the water out of his eyes and charged us both. He got a week right hand punch into my left ear causing the lord's voice to ring, "You sir have been chosen to save these souls, You must save them now or they shall be lost for ever." My hand that was on the neck on the pistol thug arched backwards in the best pimp slap ever slapped against a stupid bitch. The pistol thug dropped to his knees screaming "Oh God Oh god" and I looked upon him and yelled with the voice of god, "There young man you do see the light! Go now to church and tell your pastor that you have been beaten by god himself and that you are to be received into heaven."
The thug that rushed me charged again and I slapped my right hand onto his forehead with such force that he dropped to his knees also and I said," Dear lord please receive this imbecile servant and forgive him for his transgressions." and I brought my right knee to his face. He dropped backward in an awkward heap sputtering red juice and heaving in a primal throaty sound that I can only tell you was tongues.
You see as my knee christened his face the energy of the Holy Ghost filled him and he was imbued with the knowledge of the prophet of the bible.

1Co 14:5
I wish you all spoke in tongues, but even more that you would prophesy. The one who prophesies is greater than the one who speaks in tongues, unless he interprets so that the church may be strengthened.

I can not tell you the wondrous joy I felt as I heard these three sinners find their way to the lord.
The blood and the pain and the love and the joy that was being spilled out there on the sidewalk made them all weep. It was a truly beautiful moment.

You all would be proud and fearful for your pastor that day fro he truly brought the lord's can of whoop ass to those thugs.
I just got the call from their pastor and he wanted to know what I said to them. I told him it was not me it was the lord’s hand that touched them and it was a beautiful thing.
We both wept with joy and happiness from the love that we felt for one another and then I invited him down for a Thursday baptism. He was happy to accept the invitation and if he can still think properly we may start a church boxing league on Mondays.
The kitchen has been serving some mighty fine lunches to the legal residents of this great nation and city. They are in need of food donations and some volunteers. I want to remind you all that time and donations at the church do not go un-noticed and that on Thursdays the gloves change based on time served.
Please respect and show love and compassion in the parking lot today as you all leave.

Amen and god bless.